


Walkuwaš

by MalevolentReverie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Difference, Alaska Porn, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Animal Death, Animal Instincts, Bestiality, Blood, Breeding Kink, Cunnilingus, Doggy Style, Don't Worry I'm Too Weak To Harm Puppies, Dubious Consent, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Full Shift Werewolves, HE REALLY LIKES PUPPIES OKAY, Hunters & Hunting, Imprinting, Knotting, Let It Ring Through The Lands, Loss of Virginity, Lots of Symbolism, MalRev Lite, Masturbation, Mating Bond, Minor Finn/Rose Tico, Monsterfucking, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Older Man/Younger Woman, POV shift ch. 16, Pregnancy Kink, Puppy Dad Ben, Shapeshifting, Size Kink, Supernatural Elements, Symbolism, There WILL Be Werewolf Sex, These aren’t real wolves, This Isn't Truly A/B/O, Werewolf Handjobs, Werewolf Oral, Werewolves, Wingin’ It, awoooo, no need for a biology lesson
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-01-08 08:46:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 51,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21233030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalevolentReverie/pseuds/MalevolentReverie
Summary: Ben, an Alaskan game warden and secret werewolf, tries his best to toe the line between beast and man—but when he meets Rey, that line begins to blur.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this just struck me earlier???????
> 
> i changed my mind: no noncon, but there will be some typical ABO-style dubious consent, which is in ze tags

“Heya, Hank. How’s the fishing so far?”

Soft sunlight spills across two boats slowly floating together on a quiet, empty lake. It’s cool and still, morning just peering over the horizon beyond rows of cattails and old swampland teeming with tadpoles and fry. Spring has come to Alaska—or as close to spring as they ever get.

Supposed to be warm today, and the locals are taking full advantage. Hank is no different, and Ben is familiar with him: sees him during caribou season, and trout season, and he has a trapping license.

But he obeys the laws. This is more a social visit than anything else; set the tone for a good day.

Laughter echoes across the lake as Ben pulls his boat alongside Hank’s. The motor chugs and cuts off as they align, bobbing together in the semidarkness, and Hank sets to complaining about not catching anything with the levity of a lifelong sportsman.

“Haven’t caught shit,” he says. He shakes his head, shrugging thin shoulders and kicking over his blue cooler. “Ain’t caught shit, Ben.”

“No? Salmon?”

“Come on.” Hank sets down his rod to help Ben tether the boats together for the inspection. “No salmon here anymore. Damn _tourists _fish ‘em out!”

Ben laughs as he leans over the boat to do a quick glance. Two life jackets, no illegal bait. He leans up and balances his boot on the edge of Hank’s boat, hands on his hips, and gazes across the water.

“Tourists bring revenue, Hank,” he says.

“Well my taxes stock the damn lakes!” He huffs and puts his hands on his hips, too. “Damn hippies with their—damn powerboats. They’re killing all the fish. Takin’ all the moose, too. Bet a tourist took that bull last winter.”

“_That _was Tommy Jenkins and Cici.”

“No shit?! Guess he’s a lousier shot than I thought.”

They laugh some more and chat about how the upcoming gaming season should be. Moose lottery runs in a couple months and Hank wants to take his son on his first hunt. His daughter is going off to McGill and thinks hunting is inhumane now.

It’s a way of life here; only way for survival. People out in the boonies like Hank can’t walk down to 7/11, and no one wants to venture out when the temperatures really plummet. One moose can yield five hundred pounds of meat, so people go nuts trying to find them: traps, bait, not wounding to kill.

Ben pushes off from Hank’s boat and wishes him better luck. More fisherman will be out soon, and not all of them obey the laws or respect nature.

And when they inevitably fuck up, Ben gets to punish them for it. He loves punishing selfish humans.

—•—

By lunchtime Ben issues a dozen citations for miscellaneous shit: boating without a license, overcatch (one guys has _six _undersize trout), and catches one guy drunk as a skunk. That’s a DUI and goes to the State Troopers. Asshole.

He brought a ham sandwich and a soda, and sits on the tailgate of his green state truck to eat. His radio buzzes every now and then as he eats quietly in a glade near a pond.

Wind rustles through the leaves. He chews and watches the glassy water ripple as a fish takes a flying leap over a rock. It’s one of those smaller lakes the tourists haven’t found and polluted yet. Purists like Hank are careful when they go out. Tourists aren’t.

That’s fine. That’s what laws are for.

Ben finishes up and cleans his hands with a towelette. He’s pretty fastidious for a single guy in his early thirties, but cleanliness helps him keep in touch with the humans. They don’t run around naked and kill things with their mouths.

_“Ben, we’ve got a big problem here. Do you copy?”_

He rolls his eyes and calls it in. “Yeah, I copy. What’s the problem, Dameron?”

_“Uh… we got a bunch of pet wolf puppies.”_

Wolf puppies. Wolf puppies.

Ben’s heart skips a beat. He hesitates, staring across the lake to a flock of ducks on the other side. Wolf puppies. Regular wolf puppies.

He coughs and radioes back. “Alright, I’ll be there soon. Text me the address.”

_“Copy. Bring a cage.”_

Bring a cage. Ben rubs the back of his neck and pushes up the tailgate. He’s gotta get there before Officer Dumbass hurts the pups.

—•—

Most people aren’t stupid enough to keep wild animals as pets. They know the danger involved, and that even the friendliest, fluffiest little puppy can grow up into a hundred-pound killing machine: and you taste the same as a rabbit.

But occasionally someone gives it a go anyway. It never ends well.

Ben parks at the end of a gravel driveway, eyeing an old, dilapidated house with no front door. He sees Dameron holding his rifle and can’t stifle a short growl. He better put that shit away.

“Hey!” Poe calls. “Glad you’re here. Mitaka said you’re good with the wolves and bears.”

Ben slams his door shut. He pulls on gloves and stalks past Poe toward the back side of the house, already sniffing the air. Yup, wolf pups here. They’re scared.

He crunches over a broken beer bottle as he comes face to face with the couple that owns the shack. They’re just as desperate as everyone else who lives on the fringes of Denali, shitcanned by the federal government. They get the worst of it—and he spots the two kids they’re trying to feed.

Ben clenches his jaw. He can’t be mad at them. People do stupid things when they’re desperate.

The woman apologizes up and down. “We found them, sir! Their mother was already dead.” She cries and covers her mouth. “Please don’t hurt them. Can’t they go to a zoo?”

Poe gets a little too excited with the gun and Ben shoves him back. He glares until he slinks away.

“We’ll see,” Ben lies. He nods toward a dog fence. “They in there?”

“We weren’t selling them,” the husband offers, a big broad guy who obviously works with his hands. He leads Ben toward the fence. “But—you know, people will buy them. You can get a thousand a puppy.”

“Uh huh.”

They walk around a worn chain link run, and Ben feels something like a knife in his heart.

Four squirming puppies huddled together outside a igloo dog house in a colorful, furry mix. The guy keeps talking and Ben swallows a lump in his throat, nodding and staring at the litter, mind wandering. Son of a bitch. Son of a _bitch_.

He fumbles with his gloves. “Real young, huh?”

“We found them over near the swamp,” the man says, pointing with a trembling hand. “The mother was dead and rotting but… we kept her pelt.”

Ben isn’t going to ticket them over a pelt from a dead wolf, but he does ask to see it to check for bullet holes. The guy heads off and Poe wanders around like a fucking prison warden, scaring the shit out of the puppies _and _the kids hiding behind their mother.

“Hey!” Ben snaps. “Piss off, Dameron—put that gun away!”

“What if one attacks?” Poe calls.

“Go _away_.”

Poe huffs and leaves. He’s new, one of those guys from a big city who wants to live a ‘simple life.’ Jackass. He can’t even fly fish.

The puppies whimper when Ben opens the door. He takes a deep breath through his mouth and glances up to make sure he’s alone. People will think he’s nuts if they see him coddling wolf puppies like he’s one of them.

He’s not. Not entirely human, either.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs. He pulls the door shut and crouches there, hands twitching. They’re so cold and miserable. He just wants to scoop them up. “It’s okay, guys—and gals.”

They’re black and gray and white; typical colors. One is beautiful jet black and she blinks bright blue eyes, picking up on what Ben is before her siblings do.

She whines, squirming to the top of the pile the way runts do. Ben glances up and sees Poe checking the mother’s pelt and it makes his stomach turn. She better not have been shot. It’s a plain pelt.

The female gives a soft ‘_awoo’_ that triggers her brothers to do the same. It attracts the attention of the kids and they tiptoe over to watch through the links, big brown eyes curious.

Ben tugs off his gloves and smiles at the kids. “Did one of you find these guys?”

The girl and her brother exchange a glance and she nods. Really, them and their parents have the most claim to the land and the animals living there, and Ben tries not to intervene beyond serious stuff. Keeping wolves as pets is serious.

But Poe gives him a thumbs-up about the pelt, and Ben figures they really _did _find the puppies. Good and bad. They can’t keep them and all four puppies are thin—not emaciated, but thin.

“I like the girl,” the boy mumbles. “She eats the most.”

“I like the gray one,” adds the girl, pointing and smiling. It fades. “He doesn’t eat.”

Of course he doesn’t. He misses his mother and they don’t have the right milk to keep them alive.

But little kids can’t be expected to know that. Ben keeps it in mind as he gently picks up the female, shushing her when she yelps and snaps. Puppies and kids don’t know any better.

He inspects all four puppies. Their ribs protrude and they’re all in different stages of mange, without checking their teeth for damage, too. Ben knows a good rehabber named Maz Kanata who specializes in wolf puppies and fawns. She can do a better assessment; see if they can be saved.

Each puppy settles in his lap when he’s through poking them. He fights the urge to nuzzle and lick and clean off the dirt. That’s _definitely _not human.

“Maz can check ‘em out,” Ben says to the gathered group. He shrugs out of his jacket and gently wraps it around the bundle of puppies, heart racing. Normal puppies. “We’ll see what she says.”

“Thank god,” the wife breathes. She puts her hands on both her kids and her lower lip trembles. “I’m sorry. I thought—I had a wolfdog when I was a girl.”

Ben hardly listens. He’s mesmerized by the puppies in his arms, fighting the growing impulse to keep them for himself and protect them. Maz is great but these are _puppies _and he knows them better than she does.

Poe talks to the family while Ben carries the puppies back to his truck. It’s easy putting down caribou and moose; easy letting them go. He only stumbles across injured wolves once or twice a year, and puppies are even rarer. So far he’s only put one down. 

Then his mind inevitably wanders to what could be or could’ve been. Maybe he’s too old now. He doesn’t have the energy for pups and no woman wants to take on wild wolves as surrogates.

Ben settles the puppies in the passenger seat and smiles as he slides in the driver’s side. “There we go. Off to the doctor for a quick checkup.” He looks out the windshield before growling lightly at the black one. “Hey, you, don’t bite your brother.”

She keeps biting him. Little brat.

He turns the ignition and manages to tear his eyes away from them long enough to back down the driveway. Cute little things, and he considers them his people, too, but they’re not about to shapeshift.

Ben is still only the fifth werewolf he’s ever met.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like GRRM but w/rey instead of dragons
> 
> she'll appear...... next chapter

Maz has plenty of time to see Ben and yes, she has space for the puppies. He calls it in so Poe and the other officers know where he is before heading toward her house near Fairbanks.

It’s a long quiet drive from Denali where Ben spends most of his time patrolling. The Park Rangers don’t carry guns and can’t enforce the law, so game wardens like him offer support. It’s usually fine, but Hank is right: there are a lot of fucking tourists.

Ben peers down at the puppies dozing off in the passenger seat. Instinct screams at him to bring them back to his cabin and give them a bath; screams that he can’t possibly trust a human with baby wolves. He can’t, but Maz does good work. She’s good to the animals. She’ll do right by them.

She better.

The little female gives another soft ‘_awoo_’ where she’s perched on top of her brothers. Ben smiles and glances at her, one hand on the wheel, the other tickling her chest. She tumbles over and growls.

“You talk a big game, little one,” he laughs. Sharp teeth gnaw on his callused finger, paws scratching at his knuckles. “Must’ve learned that from mama.”

He wouldn’t know, though. Ben keeps his distance from the wild packs roaming Denali.

They pull up to Maz’s house in late afternoon. She’s an artist with an A-frame, all soaring windows and sculptures and paintings, that new modern woodsy aesthetic. Her backyard is full of cages and aviaries and pens for the bigger animals.

She waves when he gets out and he waves back. Very short, very big, thick glasses. He made a comment when they first met and got a swift punch to the gut.

“Ben Solo!” she calls. “What do you have for me?”

He opens up the passenger door and whispers to the puppies as he scoops them into his arms. If they weren’t so sick he might’ve given them a bath before dropping them off, but he doesn’t want to see if a human-form werewolf can get mange.

Maz trots up in her overalls and gasps. Ben feels an odd sense of pride, even though they aren’t _his _pups—they’re still wolves; still the heart of Alaska.

“They’re _beautiful_,” she says. She motions toward the house. “Come, I have a spot for them in my living room. Nice big box near the fireplace.”

He follows her and manages a soft warning growl to the female who can’t seem to sit still. She growls back so he gives her a light tug on her scruff. Behave.

Inside it’s warm and smells like pine and cinnamon, but like with most homes, it’s too small for Ben. He crouches as he carries the puppies through the kitchen to the living area, dodging expensive sculptures and vases. Christ.

Maz has a big box set up with blankets and chew toys. She picks through a white container with medicine and bandages, and Ben kneels to settle the puppies in their new bed. The sides should be higher so the female doesn’t climb out and fall on her face.

“Dameron said it looks like fleas,” she says. Her big eyes study the puppies squirming together. “I think he has a poor understanding of fleas.”

“He’s a dipshit.” Ben shakes his head, unwillingly straightening up. “It’s mange. They’re hungry, too—mother was dead long enough to be rotting when the family found them.”

Maz selects a shampoo bottle and formula powder. She inspects the puppies the same way Ben did and agrees with him, then gets up to draw them a bath. He stares and clenches his jaw. He should leave. 

She hands him the formula. “If you don’t mind.”

He doesn’t. If he let her do it, he’d probably be up all night thinking of how he could’ve done it better.

Ben ambles to the small kitchen. He’s helped Maz out feeding fawns and raccoon kits and knows his way around to get the formula mixed into four different bottles. He dodges pots and pans hanging from her ceiling and when he’s through, hears a peal of laughter from down the hall. A puppy yelps.

Ben almost drops a bottle in his haste to investigate, growl forming in his throat. An old burn boils in his blood, that urge to transform from when he was a moody, awkward teenager.

The puppies are all piled in the bathtub and not a single one is happy about it, but they’re perfectly safe. Maz is drenched in soapy water flung by none other than the runt female, who gives a solid bark when she catches Ben in the bathroom doorway.

He smiles a little when Maz glances his way, trying to relax. It’s fine. Dogs hate baths.

“Sorry,” she laughs, “didn’t mean to scare you. They’re still so energetic!”

“I’ll help. The bottles are ready, too.”

Maz slaps Ben’s forearm as he kneels beside her, rolling up his sleeves. “Well look at you, wolf father of the year.”

Eh. Something like that.

He hardly gets his hands on the female, who he really wants to roughhouse and teach some manners, when his radio crackles to life. Ben massages soap into her fur as a call comes in about a bear loose in a campground—something he really can’t ignore.

His heart sinks. He won’t have an excuse to visit again for a while and he didn’t get to feed them.

Maz pats him on the hand. She’s scrubbing the big gray male and he’s far from happy about it, rolling and making those soft puppy snarls. The female chews on Ben’s pinky.

“Don’t worry,” Maz says, “they’re safe with me. A bath and a bottle and everyone will be ready for a nap by the fire.” She shrugs, reaching for one that’s almost all white. “Come by over the weekend. Might as well enjoy them while they’re small like this.”

Good. Okay, good. Wash, eat, sleep, repeat. It’s Wednesday, so just two more days and he can stop by to see how they’re doing. Good.

Ben nods, swallowing a lump. “Right. Good.” He gives the female another scratch under her chin before he stands. “I’ll call you.”

“Of course,” Maz replies, smiling. She points to the female, who follows Ben to the edge of the tub. “It looks like you have a fan already.”

He does. He knows he does, and that makes it even harder for him to tear himself away. Her whimper sounds sad and cute but he can pick up on the shades of emotion layered within: _where are you going?_

Ben washes his hands and leaves. He sits in his truck for a long, silent minute, breathless from the knife twisting in his heart. He’s gotta go back. If he doesn’t go back and make sure they’re fed and cleaned—

_“Solo, do you copy?”_

The human world pulls him hard the other way, and Ben makes the same painful choice he always does.

“Copy,” he croaks. He starts the engine and pulls on his seatbelt. “Which campground?”

He chooses the humans.

—•—

As expected, Poe is there, guns blazing, with two other officers and a Ranger. They’re waiting near a destroyed campsite outside Denali and Ben can smell a pissed off sow and two cubs. Fuck.

He rubs his neck, nodding toward the underbrush. “Went off that way?”

“Yeah.” The Ranger is an older woman, Millie, and she’s seen more than her fair share of bears. He sees her pretty much every time. “She didn’t attack anyone but she stole food, and she’s getting awful close now.”

“We can relocate her,” suggests an officer. He’s from further south. Unfamiliar.

Poe cocks his rifle. All eyes turn to him more out of discomfort than curiosity. Ben hopes he has the safety on—or just shoots his own toe off.

“All I know is,” Poe says, “if she comes toward me, I’ll shoot.”

Millie casts him a dirty look before Ben can, but his dumbfuckery doesn’t sit well with anyone in the group. He’s always so keen on _shooting _things. Killing an animal is always a last resort.

“She’s got babies to feed, you asshole,” Millie snaps. Her green eyes flicker to Ben. “He with you? Is this what passes in Fish and Game nowadays?”

“Just caught him ready to off a whole litter of wolf puppies.” Ben seizes the rifle and rips it from Poe’s hands. “Who are all doing fine.”

Everyone in the group gasps. The same pride swells again, like Ben has a new baby they all want to see pictures of. Yes, they’re his. Sort of.

Officer Miranda pushes Poe out of the way, beaming. She’s young; married, very nice woman. Two kids.

“Are they cute?” she asks, grabbing his arm. “How big? Color?”

“Uh… gray and white. The only female is a runt and she’s all black. Got big blue eyes.”

He’s in good company to fawn over wolf puppies. The rampaging sow fades off in favor of excited conversation about how big they’ll get and how funny it is that the female is such a brat. Ben smiles and enjoys the opportunity to obsess over them.

But another call comes in: the bear has roamed to another campsite, and she’s attacking a camper van.

They split up into teams, and Ben shoves the rifle back into Poe’s chest. He drives with Millie down old dirt paths and hopes he can knock some sense into the bear before she gets shot.

—•—

People are hanging around watching the scene like there isn’t a pissed off grizzly bear a couple feet away. She not a Kodiak but she can still kill a man with one good swipe of her paw.

Ben gets out of the truck and picks his tranquilizer gun from the back. He cocks it and pushes past people the Rangers are corralling away from the loud sound of the bear bellowing and rolling the camper van. His heart pounds as he comes closer and closer.

In a small clearing, the bear is up on her hind legs, front paws on the empty van rocking it from side to side. She’s enormous, at least 600 pounds, and her two babies are snacking on fish the campers didn’t put up like they should’ve. Shit.

Ben hangs behind a tree and glances back to see two other officers close by, waiting for his signal. They have shotguns like Poe does.

His mind races. How can he get her to leave without tranquilizing her and the cubs? If he were alone he could try to shift and scare her off but that’s not possible with a crowd—and shifting takes focus. Losing focus means he can get _stuck_.

Something moves on the periphery: Poe stepping directly into the bear’s line of sight. It happens so fast that Ben barely has time to react.

Her big head whips around and she drops to all fours, unleashing a long, bellowing roar. Her beady black eyes trail Poe as he levels his rifle, taking aim with very unsteady hands. Wrong caliber. Wrong caliber. It won’t kill her in one shot.

Panicked, Ben grabs the barrel and yanks to point it up before Poe shoots. The gunshot goes off harmlessly into the canopy, and Ben shoves Poe to the ground for good measure. Stupid son of a bitch.

“That’s the wrong caliber!” Miranda shouts from somewhere behind them. “You dumbass! That’s the wrong caliber!”

There’s a brief pause as everyone recovers from the sound, including the bear. People argue and Ben watches her chuff and snort. She blinks, gives her huge head a shake, and stands her ground.

“A bullet is a bullet!” Poe retorts, scrambling to his feet. “Who gives a—”

The bear suddenly rears on her hind legs, black gums flinging spittle from the roar she lets out. It makes Ben’s bones rattle—_now _she’s going to kill someone.

He pushes Poe toward the path with his rifle. “Go, go, go! Now!”

Someone shouts for Ben to move but he’s not going to let the bear get shot. He whistles to get her attention and she turns away from the others, following his voice, maybe interested by what she smells. She knows he isn’t human.

“Hey!” Ben shouts. He claps and backs into the woods through thick hedges. “Come on! Chase me, you bitch!”

She’s more than happy to oblige. With another angry roar, she charges toward him.

Ben takes off into the thick forest with her barreling after him like a runaway freight train. There’s no time for him to peel off his clothes and he can’t control the transformation since it’s been _years, _but the only other option is to risk someone getting hurt.

He breaks into a clearing, turning just as the bear comes storming through the trees behind him. Ben’s pulse rushes in his ears and he backs away from her.

“I know,” he calls. “I’m sorry. Sometimes I hate them, too.”

Her two cubs bumble behind her. The bear roars and stomps and makes a charge.

Transforming comes over him like fire in his blood that flares up all at once. He shudders, body shifting and expanding, clothes tearing, the violent transition from his human suit to the other end of the spectrum. Sometimes he can fine-tune it. Not today.

The bear stops dead. Ben catches a glimpse before he loses consciousness for a moment, human mind melting and pouring straight out of his skull, leaving absolutely nothing behind. Instincts remain, fleeting sensation lacking concrete thought.

_bear bear bear _

He returns to his wolf body and catches a brown-hazed glimpse of the sow before he starts losing it. He growls and shakes his head.

_tires on gravel hot sun_

_ humans humans—reeks of humans and oil and fire need to move need to follow—_

Ben feels the earth beneath his paws, invisible magnetism holding him there, and hears humans shouting in the distance. It’s information overload, way too much way too fast. He smells other wolves and the bear and it has him _spinning_.

His body is the wrong shape—too big. He’s bigger than her. When did he get so big? Was he this big the last time he transformed?

Ben staggers and snarls. He shakes his head, trying to dispel the way his animal body and human brain refuse to cooperate. His skin hurts.

But it’s enough to send the bear packing without a fight. She gathers her cubs and retreats toward the wilderness, but Ben snarls to chase them off, anyway. He’s confused and in pain and if he were steadier on his feet, he’d be fighting her.

_‘come come,’ _she says to her cubs, voice just a whisper on the breeze, _‘we go.’_

Two more stumbling steps, lurching his enormous shaggy black body toward the copse of trees, and he manages a long, mournful howl. The bears disappear into the woods and his voice echoes like someone else is responding. Another werewolf.

Ben sways and howls again just to hear it, because there isn’t another quite like his. The mountains send it back with a gentle breeze that ruffles his fur, soothing some of the ache from the transformation. None of the four other werewolves he knows live in Alaska.

He whines as he collapses to his side and the wolf recedes from his blood, snapping back like a rubber band. It could leave him trapped in animal form for days, or stuck between the two extremes until he calms down enough to revert back to a man.

Ben is alone in the chaotic space between man and beast; as alone as he’s ever been. His eyes flutter shut and he heaves a sigh. At least the bears are okay.


	3. Chapter 3

“Holy _shit_, that’s a big wolf.”

Something prods Ben in the ribs. His mind races as he comes to, still trapped in the oversized wolf form, aching down to his marrow from the strain of the transformation. He huffs and weakly swipes a paw. Gotta get up. Get out of here.

But he can smell—_humans_.

“It’s awake.” A man, nervous. “Rey, you should back up.”

“He’s just twitching in his sleep, Finn,” replies a woman. Ben’s ears prick. “You think he’s bigger than a Kodiak? I mean… he’s _big_. He has to weigh a ton.”

He’s poked in the ribs again and gives a deep warning growl. His eyes roll open and closed as he struggles to get to his feet, but it’s not easy hefting his nearly two ton body off the ground.

“Hey, Poe?” calls Finn. “Uh, you got the tranq gun? We’re gonna need—”

“Shh!” Rey hisses. “Are you _nuts_?! Just… just back up and give him some space. We don’t need fucking Poe shooting him in the head for his trophy room.”

_Poe_.

Ben curls his lip, snarling as he drags himself upright with a hard pull of his claws. He shakes his head and stumbles but doesn’t fall over. _Poe. _This is his fucking fault. _Poe. Poe Dameron._

“Oh Jesus!” Scrambling. “Rey, come on!”

It’s hard to see at first but Ben can hear much better than a human. He picks up on the busy chatter twenty feet away, deciding what to do with him and whether they want to pursue the bears. He smells blood and his snarl carries, pained and frustrated. Blood means someone’s fighting or feeding.

He teeters, drunk on all the sensation and shaking his head to make it stop. It’s so goddamn hard to think straight. That’s why animals don’t bother.

But as Ben blinks away the misty haze, his gaze falls upon a woman hiding behind a tree. He squints out of sheer curiosity, wondering what kind of person would wander so close…

And their eyes meet.

In a single serendipitous stroke, heralded by a shiver in his bones and his blood, Ben has met _Her_—and all he does is stare. It’s _Her_.

“Poe, _stop_!”

A bullet whizzes past Ben’s head. He blinks out of his reverie but hesitates, still staring down at her and unable to rip himself from her orbit. Grandpa said this could happen, but grandpa said a lot of weird shit—

Rey throws a syringe and it bops him right between the eyes. “Run, you moron!”

The rifle cracks again and something like a bee sting smacks Ben in the shoulder. He snarls before turning tail and bolting off into the woods, fleeing fucking Poe, who he _shouldn’t _kill. But Poe did just shoot him in the arm, so that’s gotta allow for retribution.

Ben hauls ass through the woods, tearing through small trees and brambles in his haste to escape. He’s leaving a blood trail but there’s no time to worry about that right now. Poe might’ve gone back for the 12-gauge and _then _Ben is fucked.

So he runs as fast as he can, ignoring the searing pain in his shoulder. Deer raise their heads to watch and squirrels skitter from his path before they’re trampled, and he hears chatter on the breeze.

Soon he breaks into another small clearing and splashes through an icy stream, lungs heaving like enormous bellows, breath huffing through his snout. He can smell and hear so much; _too _much, and it pulls him in all different directions like he’s a doll being ripped apart at the joints.

Ben crests a small hill and turns to look back over the trees, panting. He can only see shades of gray and brown in this form, and the sprawling wilderness looks the same as it always does to a wolf; trees, rocks, towering mountains. It’s hazy and easier to use his nose when he has somewhere to be.

But for the split second when his eyes met Rey’s, everything came into bright, colorful focus.

—•—

“Son of a _bitch_!”

Darkness creeps across the mountains as Ben finally stumbles home to his cabin. He’s fucking pissed.

He’s half snarling, changing form while he staggers to the door. He rips the shell out of his shoulder before it gets sealed in, spitting another curse when he sees a buckshot. Fucking _Poe. _He’s gonna break that asshole’s face when he sees him again.

Ben shoves open the door and slams it shut behind him. It’s cold and he’s naked and got fucking _shot_, and almost killed by a goddamn bear, and he had to leave his puppies. It’s not a good day.

He flings the bloody buckshot across the living room, stumbling past his mismatched furniture to the bathroom. First he has to shower and wash off the blood and dirt and hope his fucking nuts don’t fall off while he waits for the fire to get going.

Not to mention—it seems like he imprinted, and just thinking about it makes Ben want to barrel off through the woods again.

It’s not a good feeling. There’s nothing freeing about losing control of himself and going through a violent, frightening transformation into a wolf. He learned to control it with his grandfather’s help until he passed. Uncle Luke wasn’t so keen on the werewolf blood.

Ben takes a cold shower instead to help cool down. He shivers and groans when fur slowly prickles up his forearms, threatening another transformation, but after a couple minutes it recedes back wherever it comes from and he’s left miserable and cold.

His thoughts wander back to the girl—Rey—and what exactly happened between them. She’s young, and definitely human, so she wouldn’t realize Ben imprinted on her.

He towels off and puts on an old college sweatshirt and flannel pants over his long johns. Even though he’s freezing his dick off he still feels a new tugging in the corner of his heart, urging him to go find her.

No goddamn way. He just showered and is trying to warm up. He’s not—

“Fuck,” Ben snaps.

Fire sears unbidden up the length of his spine, definitely from thinking of the girl, but he can’t _stop _thinking about her. He hastily peels off his warm clothes and stumbles past dusty old furniture to the door, snarling as he throws it open and spills outside.

The transformation comes over him with a violent tearing of skin and muscle. Ben drops to all fours, shuddering as he careens to the other end of the spectrum, shifting into a one-and-a-half ton wolf again: which is exactly what everyone will be our looking to shoot.

But he manages to keep his head. Somewhat. He stumbles and snarls in frustration, lurching forward when the small tugging yanks him. _No_, you’ll fucking die if you go wandering around looking for her.

_go go go go go_

‘_fuck_—’ Ben shakes his head fast like he’s kicking off water. _‘stay here.’_

He plants his ass near the stairs and snorts. Stay here. He can look for the girl over the weekend.

Ignoring his instincts is pure misery. Ben paces around his cabin, waiting for the transformation to subside so he can go back inside and call the sheriff. They need to know he’s still alive—and that Poe fucking Dameron needs his weapon taken away.

—•—

“You sure you’ll be okay, Solo?”

The urge to seek out his mate is overwhelming, but Ben forces himself back to work the next day, desperately clinging to the fringes of humanity. He’s a human. He doesn’t imprint on other humans. Rey just happened to be in the wrong place at the right time.

Drowsiness would do that to anyone—make them think weird shit. He’s dreaming it. He’s going fucking nuts. Anything except _imprinting_.

Ben shifts in the chair before his boss’s desk. It’s too small and the room is cramped, full of random baubles and bones and feathers. It smells like death and dirt. He’s gotta get out of here—gotta go home and take a nap or something.

He scratches his head, avoiding Holdo’s eyes. “I’m fine. Bear didn’t kill me, did it?”

“No.” Holdo leans back in her weathered chair, long fingers steepled in her lap. “Against all odds, she didn’t. Next time just shoot the damn thing? Your mother won’t be happy if I call her in New York to tell her you got your face chewed off.”

Yes, Ben’s boss knows his mother. They’re friends, actually. It’s a nightmare.

“Sure,” he mutters. He runs a hand through his hair and stands. “What about Dameron?”

“Suspended for two weeks without pay, pending investigation. Did you hear about the wolf he almost shot?”

“…I might’ve.”

Holdo raises her eyebrows. She never has a hair out of place or a wrinkle unpressed.

“Big wolf,” she says. “It’d be a shame for something to happen to such a rare animal—don’t you think?”

Ben nods, already turning away. Yeah. Knows about that, too, and he’s sure she already told mom. Who will call him, and tell him to try yoga, and tell him he needs to move somewhere quieter.

It’s fucking Alaska. You can’t get much quieter.

“Can I go?” he asks.

Holdo shrugs and nods, dismissing him. Thank god.

The day is over so Ben heads through the station to the lockers and gets his shit together. He called Maz twice today to check on the puppies and isn’t really sure how he’s going to survive another two days waiting to see them. Are they eating? Are they playing? Maybe they’re bored.

He heads out, throwing his stuff in his truck, already planning what he might bring for them over the weekend. Could make some chew toys out of the old rope in the shed. Puppies love chewing. Ben used to chew the wooden chair legs at the kitchen table when he was a puppy.

“Excuse me, sir?”

He blinks at his backpack at the familiar voice filtered through human ears. Son of a bitch.

Ben stiffens, turning slowly to regard his ‘mate,’ even though she hadn’t consented to him yet. She’s wearing a blue flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows, and beige capris covered in pockets. Got a backpack. He hopes he didn’t imprint on a teenager. _Please _no.

He stares. His tongue is thick and heavy like he’s gotta start panting. Okay. Relax.

“Hi, sir,” she says. She pauses, then holds up a finger, twists her backpack so she can rummage through for a crumpled piece of paper. “I was interested in the… wolf puppies?”

Ben hesitates a moment too long, eyeing the paper. Her hand falls, expression defeated. Shit.

He coughs, shrugging. “Yeah, what about ‘em?”

“Oh—well I was hoping to help?” Rey unfolds the paper herself, smoothing it open hastily. “I want to work with wild animals, so if I could help in any way. I mean, Finn told me to ask you because you know Miss Kanata. He’s an intern with the Park Service.”

“Are you an intern, too?”

“Oh no, I’m in high school. I’m applying to Cornell.” She hands Ben the paper and shrugs, smiling. “Well, they already accepted me, but…”

He leans on the side of his truck and bites inside his cheek, scanning the volunteer form. Son of a _bitch_: he imprinted on a high school kid.

Maybe she’s eighteen. Is there a way to ask if she’s eighteen without making it sound like he wants to fuck her? He doesn’t want to fuck her. Unless she’s eighteen—_then _he might want to fuck her.

Ben clears his throat. “Uh… yeah, I know Maz.”

Rey brightens. “Great! Could I talk to her? I don’t mind getting a permit or whatever I need. Please.” She hesitates, then offers a hand for a shake. “Sorry. I’m Rey—Rey Niima.”

Ben stares at her hand. He shouldn’t touch her. That might make the bond plunge deeper.

He swallows and turns away to adjust his backpack in the passenger seat instead, stowing the paper inside. Okay. She wants to see the puppies. She’s going to Cornell so must mean she’s gonna be a vet. Good reason to want to see puppies.

“I’m going to be a vet,” she adds. “I graduate in a couple weeks. They already accepted me but this is just a big opportunity—I don’t even need the volunteer form filled out. I won’t be a pest and I’ll stay out of the way.”

“Are you eighteen?”

Awkward. Jesus Christ. _Are you eighteen?_

“…Well, no, but I’m emancipated.”

Emancipated, okay. So she doesn’t have parents or anything to get in the way.

Get in the way of _what_, you creepy fuck?

Ben withdraws from the truck, hanging on the door. He tries not to look Rey in the eyes while he takes out his phone, ashamed of what’s running through his head. She’s seventeen. She seems like a nice girl. Get a grip you disgusting son of a bitch.

“I’ll give you Maz’s number,” he offers. “You can call and ask her. She’s doing the rehab so she has more control over who sees them.”

“Thank you!” Rey beams as she takes out her phone, navigating a cracked screen. “I’ll be eighteen in a couple months at the end of summer but I’ve been emancipated since I was sixteen. I can fill out all the paperwork—you know, in case I get bit.”

Yeah, in case you get bit.

Ben reads off the number and turns to leave. He has to get away. His blood feels hot, maybe miffed by someone else wanting to see the puppies. Maybe just because it’s Her and he _wants _her to want them.

“You were the one the bear chased, right?”

He sits in the driver’s seat and glances at Rey shoving her phone in her back pocket. She has long legs. Long, long legs, and freckles.

He nods, gunning the ignition. “Yup.”

“How’d you get away?”

“Uh… I don’t know. Laid down, covered my head. Guess she got bored.”

“Oh.” Rey hesitates. “I saw that big wolf everyone’s talking about. Finn let me in and I took a blood sample. I thought maybe he chased her off and… maybe you saw him.”

Oh _no._ Rey has a vial of his very non-human blood.

Ben peers up at her through the soft mid afternoon sun. Her hazel eyes are wide and curious, the kind that look for answers where they shouldn’t and get into trouble. He stares for a second too long and quickly looks away, shutting his door.

“Didn’t see a wolf,” he says.

“Yeah, sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.” Rey smiles and holds up her phone triumphantly. “But thank you so much for your help, sir! Can’t wait for the puppy bites!”

He waves and avoids her eyes as he pulls out of the small parking lot. He’s gotta get out of here and forget this poor girl before she seeps into his head.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben is a sad panda

“She’s a nice girl. Wants to save all the animals, you know? Anyway, I told her she can come by with you on Saturday and I’ll show her how I feed and clean the puppies. They’ve got mange but it’s under control—gave all three a lime sulphur dip.”

It’s Friday, and Ben is sitting alone on his porch watching the sun set through the trees. He takes a sip of his beer while Maz prattles on about Rey and how nice she is, totally oblivious to how bad it would be for Ben to be alone in a car with her.

But he can’t outright say ‘yeah, can’t risk being alone with a teenage girl.’ Red flag—big red flag. Huge.

He rubs his mouth, shrugging. “Alright, I’ll bring her. How’s the little runt doing?”

“Great! She eats like a horse and chews her brothers’ ears, tries jumping up on my bed. Big brat, but she’s alive and doing great.”

“Good. Thanks for the help, Maz.”

They hang up. Ben tosses his phone aside and lights a cigarette, squinting into the pressing darkness. No big deal. He’ll go see the puppies and make sure he doesn’t touch the girl. Grandpa said it’s the touching that makes the bond really stick, and if Ben ignores it she’ll just be like a sliver he can’t pick out.

But grandpa isn’t around anymore to answer questions, and Uncle Luke is fucking useless. Ben is on his own like he always is.

He smokes his cigarette and brings in the butt to chuck in the trash. Two more beers go down (it’s a Friday—why not?) and he’s back to thinking about Rey the way he knows he shouldn’t. College or not, she’s young and fresh and he’s an old, gross werewolf. Wouldn’t be fair to take her.

Ben bounces his knee, sitting on the couch, staring at the door. It wouldn’t be fair. It’s not right.

But there’s nothing wrong with _looking_.

The couch scrapes across the floor as he stands, stripping off his clothes on his way to the door. His blood burns by the time he walks outside and in the blink of an eye he shifts into a wolf, instincts running over common sense: he wants to see her and the pups, even if it’s dangerous.

Finding Rey is simple: follow the new tug somewhere in the lower left corner of his heart, worse now that he’s a wolf, taking deep breaths through his mouth to pick up her scent. But the pups are more pressing since it’s been a couple days and he feels like they’re _his_; like he has an obligation to check on them.

Thankfully the transformation feels better than the one from a few days before. Ben stretches, bowing and pacing around his cabin, then sits and just howls for a couple minutes. It’s like relieving an itch. His howl echoes through the trees and other wolves will hear it and steer clear, because they know the sound of him. Good. This is his territory.

Territory. Territory.

Ben takes off through the trees toward Maz’s house, following smells and an internal compass he still doesn’t fully understand. He needs to establish territory. Rey and the puppies belong to _him_, and the wolves and bears need to understand that.

Young trees snap over his shoulders as he barrels through tight forest. He’ll go see the puppies before he finds where Rey lives, though it’s probably somewhere in town where he can’t risk paying around. He’ll get shot with a _real _bullet.

Healing only goes so far. A big enough round can pierce his skull, and then—

_wolf_

Ben is derailed entirely by the sharp scent of another wolf—male, of all fucking things—and he stops dead in a small clearing. He curls his lip, growling in the darkness, eyes peeled for the threat. Wolf. Must be someone else’s territory and since it’s springtime, he might be looking for a fight.

He snarls and circles the clearing for any signs of another wolf, likely to be a third his size and not a serious threat. But his head spins: it smells like another male, and his mate and puppies are out there somewhere without any protection.

Ben pins his ears back. Gotta kill this guy. Rip out his throat. He sniffs at the trees and the grass to follow the scent when he feels a sharp tug in his chest.

Right—Rey. Rey. Rey.

Agitated, Ben peels himself from the hunt for the other male and blindly follows the pull from his mate, who doesn’t know she’s his mate, or that he imprinted on her. But he did and he’s going to find her and _then _he’ll go kill the other wolf.

It’s hard to keep his thoughts straight. The insistent tug from Rey wars with other deep-rooted instincts hellbent on collecting the puppies and killing the intruder on his territory. Ben comes to a stop near a stream, whimpering and pacing in a big circle. His mate should come first. Who else will feed the puppies? Him?

He splashes to the other side of the stream and shakes out his coat, showering black fur into the dark water. Maybe—puppies first. But it will be dangerous here if the other male is around. What if he kills the puppies?

What if he tries to take Rey?

_rey rey rey rey_

Ben growls. He shakes his head, stumbling in her direction. More important. Needs to get her.

_‘rey?’ _he barks, impulsive, spitting out his internal chanting. Can she hear him? _‘rey?’_

His paws move slow then pick up and he’s racing through the woods again, howling while he runs. Ben’s line of sight narrows to the path that will bring him to her, and nothing else matters: puppies or wolves or getting shot. Just Rey.

—•—

The closer Ben gets, the more intense the pull. He emerges from the forest near the police station and tries to hang along the treeline to avoid detection.

Town is quiet and still. There aren’t a lot of streetlights and only a couple cars parked out on the empty pavement, leaving Ben some dark spots to slip through that conceal his enormous body. He follows the direct impulses, refusing to go off course even when it brings him near a house.

Doesn’t matter. Has to find her.

He pads past a white fence lining the edge of a new apartment complex. It’s only a couple months old, and Ben picks up the soft scent of Rey near the mailbox. She must live here. It’s too far away—too exposed. He’ll bring her back home.

How? Not sure, but he will. She’ll want to come, maybe. If she doesn’t…

Ben prowls into the trees when a porch light flickers on. He lowers into the long grass and watches a gangly man emerge from the apartment building to smoke a cigarette. His phone lights up and he turns to take a call, giving time for Ben to slip around the edge of the building toward the back.

But before he moves, the tug turns into painful yanking, and Rey steps outside.

She’s wearing a baggy T-shirt and old flannel pajama bottoms, arms crossed over her chest. Her body language is far from friendly and she launches into an argument with the man, who shakes his head. He heads for an old pickup truck.

“Don’t come here again, Jack!” Rey snaps. She storms down the steps after him, bare-footed. “Rose said it’s over, so it’s over!”

“Whatever,” the guy drawls.

Ben growls softly when Rey grabs Jack’s arm to make him turn and face her. She pokes a skinny finger into his hoodie and bares her teeth.

“You better back off. Finn is a nice guy and I won’t let you get between them.”

“Yeah, you’ve always got your nose in everyone else’s business, Rey.” Jack slaps her hand away and opens his creaky door. “Stay outta mine and quit being such a fucking cunt.”

“Fuck _you_!”

Jack seizes Rey by the upper arm. He shoves her into the side of the car but before Ben can spring into action, she _decks _him. It’s a solid punch that might break bone, judging by the loud crack that echoes through the trees.

He spits out a curse and Rey squirms away, looking to run. Jack grabs the back of her shirt and throws her into the front end of the car. His cigarette glows red in the darkness and Ben rises to his feet, gaze zeroed in on the light. Rey hisses and spits like a cat.

“You broke my fucking n—”

Jack notices Ben first. His eyes trail up as a paw emerges from the trees, then another, padding slowly toward the truck. His grip on Rey loosens, eyes widening when they meet Ben’s. The cigarette falls to the gravel and Jack stumbles back.

Rey scowls until she picks him out in the darkness, silently approaching them across the lawn. He doesn’t want to scare her but he definitely wants to scare the other human, and Ben dips his head to snarl, ears pinned to his head. Take two seconds to cover the twenty feet and tear Jack’s arm off.

“Shit,” Jack breathes. He shakes his head and makes a break for his door. “Holy shit!”

In the next second he’s in the truck and starting the engine. Ben doesn’t give chase when he peels out, swinging around and racing for the street. Not worth the energy. He can’t catch up to a speeding car.

He glances down to find Rey staring up at him, mouth agape. She takes a step back, then two.

“Please don’t eat me,” she croaks.

Ben cocks his head, watching her retreat. Where she goes pulls him with her and he follows her steps toward the house. Why isn’t she happy? He just drove off an attacker and protected her—she should be accepting him now. Receptive.

He’s never fucked a woman as a wolf, but he wouldn’t mind trying. Now.

Rey bolts for the house. It triggers powerful hunting instincts to pounce on little things that scurry, and Ben gives chase. His thoughts spin with excitement he hasn’t felt in years: it’s a test. He just wants him to catch her, _then _she’ll be receptive.

But she scrambles up the steps and gets inside before Ben catches her. The door slams shut, Rey starts screaming for help, and he realizes he’s been rejected by the woman he imprinted on.

Ben whimpers, tail wagging slowly. He protected her. He showed his worth, so why doesn’t she want him? Then it sinks deeper into his brain and turns to anguish: his mate doesn’t want him. He must be defective if she doesn’t want him.

Lights flick on. He tears off into the woods before he can get shot again, hesitating not too far out, ears pricked. Someone comes out with a shotgun and Ben’s tail stops wagging. Not safe here.

He turns every couple steps as he flees the scene, up until he can’t see the apartment building anymore. Then he follows the only other thing he can think of, straight toward the puppies and some semblance of comfort. His mate rejected him. Holy shit.

Still reeling, he somehow makes it to Maz’s property, where the reek of a male wolf does little to distract him from the pain. He pads up to the porch, claws clicking on the hardwood as he searches through the glass for any sign of the puppies. Where are they? Do they still want to see him?

_‘it’s me,’ _he says. He barks once, trying not to wake Maz. _‘hello?’_

All is quiet, and there’s no response.

Ben whines and paces the porch, anxious from the rejection and warring instincts. He should run back and take Rey by force. She belongs to him. Sooner or later she’ll be receptive, but until then he needs her in his territory and his home—

A soft bark scatters his thoughts. He blinks and looks down to see the runt watching him through the glass, and her tail wags faster when their eyes meet.

Ben lies down to be at her eye level, pressing his nose closer to smell her. She yaps and races back and forth and he desperately wishes he could bring her outside and play and teach her what she needs to know. But Maz won’t appreciate that.

The other two tumble over each other in their haste to see Ben. He whines and paws at the glass with a huge paw, then hauls himself to his feet, pacing again. They need to come with him. Some human can’t take care of them correctly—they need to wrestle and hunt and play. Can’t be trapped inside.

But he knows he can’t just break the glass and take them. If he can’t convince his own mate to accept him, what kind of parent would he be?

Ben huffs his frustration and sits, lifting a long, mournful howl toward the sky. All three puppies join in with their raspy howls, and he isn’t alone for the handful of minutes until Maz wakes up.

The lights turn on and Ben takes off. The runt yaps in a panic and he almost turns back, but he can’t risk being captured or shot. He runs to the woods and sits there for a while, watching Maz checking the porch with a flashlight. She closes the big curtain over the glass when she goes back inside.

Ben lays down on a soft bed of pine needles and heaves a sigh, closing his eyes. Nowhere to go.


	5. Chapter 5

Common sense comes back when Ben gets home the next morning. He’s sore as fuck and miserable but the ache of Rey running away doesn’t hurt quite as much.

He stumbles into the kitchen for coffee, grimacing. Jesus. All that running doesn’t agree with him anymore—he’s not a young kid like he used to be. Even transforming takes more energy now. Wears harder on his body.

The pot trickles and hisses and he collapses in a chair at the table. Chased Rey right into her house. Scared the shit out of her. _Very _well done. Now she’s probably not going to want to see the wolf puppies or have anything to do with animals at all.

Ben heaves a sigh, dropping his forehead on the table. These are the times when it would be great if grandpa Anakin were still alive.

His phone vibrates.

> **(907) 881-0505** >
> 
> * * *
> 
> **iMessage  
****Today** _ 9:15 AM_

> hey! this is rey. maz gave me your number

Oh—shit. Shit.

Ben sits upright, drops his phone, and swears. Okay, no big deal. He’s talked to women before. Never fucked one out of fear he’d transform and… it would end badly. Gruesome. He’s never checked but the wolf dick must be a lot bigger than the human one.

He stares at the message for another long minute before answering.

> **Today ** _9:18 AM_
> 
> Ok
> 
> so i should be ready in an hour if you want to swing by and get me? had a crazy night. want to grab a bite at rick’s?

> Yeah that sounds good. See you soon.  
_Delivered_

> see you then! i’ll send my address :)

Right. He’s not supposed to know her address—but he does, because he tracked her down the night before and scared the shit out of her.

Ben gets a cup of coffee, black, and shuffles through the cabin to his bedroom. He already showered off all the dirt and mud from the night before after stumbling in aching from all the running he did. Now he has to find something that isn’t flannel and doesn’t make him look like a bumpkin, which is pretty much impossible.

But he tries. Ben picks through his dresser for close to half an hour until he gives up and puts on a red flannel and jeans. Whatever. They’re clean.

He puts on his boots and heads out to his truck with a travel mug full of more coffee stronger than jet fuel. It’s gonna be a good day—he can see the puppies and see Rey, and absolutely not, under any circumstances, make a pass at her. She’s young. She deserves better.

Ben turns the key in the ignition, pawing for his cigarettes in the glove box. It’s hard to ignore that loud part of his brain that insists she’s his.

It’s a quick ride over to the apartment building where she lives and he’s relieved not to see Jack’s car outside. Warmth skitters down his chest when he catches sight of Rey sitting on the porch with her friends, laughing, head tilted back. She’s wearing overalls, hair back in a loose ponytail. It’s fucking hot.

Ben gets out and waves, and she waves him over. She’s sitting with a short girl with black hair and the Finn kid from the other day, who are holding white mugs steaming in the cool morning.

Rey sets a hand on her hip and points. “Ben, this is Rose—and Finn is over here staring into the distance. Guys, this is Ben, that game warden I told you about.” She beams, threading a long arm around his, and Ben stares. “I’m _so _excited to play with the puppies!”

“You’re not playing with them,” Finn corrects, raising his eyebrows. He rubs a bicep and fixes his cutoff sleeve. “If you’re gonna be a vet then you have to be professional, Rey.”

She’s touching him. Ben hardly notices the laughing and bickering because Rey has her skinny arm around his and he can feel her body heat. He manages a tight smile, drumming his fingertips on his outer thigh. Everything is going to smell like her when he goes home. Fuck.

“Well, have fun,” Rose says, smiling. “Don’t get bit.”

“Getting bit is the best part.” Rey bends to hug them and waves. “See you guys for dinner.”

His blood runs thicker, hotter. Ben smiles as they turn away from the house and can only think of one thing, and it’s deeply concerning. It shouldn’t be this hard.

Rey hops in the passenger side and puts on her seatbelt. She smells nice, like vanilla.

“So I’ll buy breakfast,” she says. She points at Ben, furrowing her brow. “I mean it.”

“Alright, alright.” He laughs and shifts into gear. “I won’t argue.”

They drive through town to the Rick’s Diner, a small place on a corner. Ben parks out front and opens the door for Rey as they head inside, skin prickling from how close she is. Just has to keep his hands off her. Easy, since she’s seventeen and he’s almost thirty.

It’s warm and cramped inside like being back in grandpa’s old cabin all those years ago. They take a booth near the door and the waitress comes over with coffee and glasses of water. Rey chirps a thanks and smiles and Ben struggles not to stare. The collar of her henley drapes down past her collarbone, and it’s all exposed tan skin, and he can see the edge of a tan line from a bathing suit on her shoulder.

“How long have you lived here?”

Ben blinks. A cash register beeps and clicks and he finds Rey smiling at him.

He rubs the back of his neck. “Couple years. Grandpa used to live here. I’m from New York.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it? I’ll be so sad to leave but there isn’t exactly a bevy of vet schools in Alaska.” She flips through her menu, swaying subtly from side to side to the music floating through the diner. “Cornell is in Ithaca New York. I’m from the U.K.—got adopted, then emancipated. Busy life.”

“Did you live here, then?”

“No, Kansas. After I was emancipated I moved here with Rose to see the sights. It’s a big country.”

“Yeah, sure is,” Ben says. He draws over the container of sugar packets to rearrange them. “That’s a lot of moving for someone so young.”

Rey nods, shrugging. “I feel like I haven’t found where I belong, I think. My spirit is wandering.” She breaks into a smile and laughs, shaking her head, pushing aside her menu. “Sorry, it’s too early to be so corny.”

Ben manages a smile. He picks at a packet of Stevia and bites his tongue. Her spirit is wandering looking for _him_, and she’ll never know because it’s not right to tell her. Too young. Why the hell does she have to be seventeen, of all fucking ages? If she were ten years younger than that he could just kidnap her.

The door chimes and Ben pauses in his rearranging. Warmth creeps up in his chest. He _could _kidnap her: he knows where she lives and that she doesn’t have a gun around to shoot him with.

Would be easy. She’ll understand sooner or later that he’s imprinted on her and that makes them kind of like soulmates. The empty spot in her will go away, and she can take care of all the sick animals he finds around Denali, and they can raise the puppies together—

His eyes flicker from the packets to Rey, who’s talking to the waitress. He trails down her overalls and feels a swell of excitement thinking of how they’d look over a pregnant stomach.

“Ben?”

The images fade and guilt swoops in to replace them. Ben coughs and orders his food and tries to avoid Rey’s curious hazel eyes. Holy shit. What the _hell_—he’s not going to kidnap anyone. No. No, no.

He makes it through breakfast without doing so and they head off to Maz’s. Rey texts her friends for most of the drive and he tries not to wonder what it’s about. Hopefully she doesn’t think he’s creepy. She probably does.

She yawns, cracking her knuckles. “How old are the puppies, anyway?”

“Not ten weeks yet. Babies.”

“Aww.” Rey pouts her lower lip. “Poor little things. Can they ever go back to the wild?”

“Maybe. They might go to a sanctuary or something if they can’t be out with the Denali pack.”

_do it now stop the car and _bite her

“Will they all fight?” Rey asks, cocking her head.

Ben nods fast and swallows a lump in his throat, focusing on the road. Don’t pull over and bite her. She isn’t a werewolf.

She nods, frowning. “That’s too bad. At least they’re okay, though.”

He rubs his throat. Yeah, it’s peachy. She should’ve worn something that covered more so he doesn’t have to look at all the skin and think about what it would feel like under his fingertips. It had to have been deliberate. She’s teasing him.

_No, _she’s seventeen, and that’s how seventeen year old girls dress. It’s not her fault he’s a repressed fucking virgin who lives alone in the woods.

Maybe he should make a more concerted effort to lose his virginity. That might help take the edge off, even if the thought of fucking anyone except Rey is almost unbearable. What if _she _fucks someone else? He should just kidnap her.

“That wolf came by my place last night.”

Ben glances at her, feigning indifference. She’s too busy looking at her hands to pay his fake interest much attention.

“Rose’s ex was over and acting like a prick—it chased him off and chased me, too.” She spins a silver ring around her index finger. “It was scary. Feels kind of like the grim reaper is following me.”

“Well—” Ben pauses, clearing his throat, casting her another glance. What else would someone think when a huge black wolf follows them home? “Maybe he likes you? Animals imprint on things. Ducklings and shit imprint.”

Rey frowns and leans back in her seat. Her sleeves come down to her elbows and slide up a bit as she taps her chin thoughtfully. Effortless. He wants to kiss her fingers and knuckles and the scar on her forearm.

“You think?” she asks, hopeful.

“Oh, yeah. A wolf that big has to be sorta smart, so I bet he just likes you.”

“I hope so.” She sits up straighter, shivering. “There was something in his eyes for sure—he’s smart. And his fur was _beautiful_; this deep shade of black I’ve never seen before. He’s unique. I hope that prick Poe Dameron doesn’t go shooting him.”

Ben leans an arm on the door, sighing. “Me too.”

They arrive at Maz’s ten minutes later. Ben gets the truck parked and hears excited yapping as soon as he steps out into a shallow puddle.

All four puppies are racing toward him, and the female trips over her own two paws and tumbles a couple feet. She hops up and joins in growling and barking with her brothers as Ben tries to step around them toward the house, resisting the urge to transform. That’s what they’re hoping for.

Rey shakes Maz’s hand and claps excitedly. The puppies are too distracted by Ben to pay much attention to anything else and they follow him up the porch steps with their tails wagging so hard they can’t stand straight. He sits on the top step and is quickly overwhelmed in a pile of fur and tails and tongues. Sucks they aren’t big enough to throw around.

Ben wrestles the runt out of the group and hugs her to his chest as Maz picks up the mostly white male. He whines and licks her face, squirming, but there’s a noticeable pause when he sees Rey.

He whimpers, waving his paws until Maz passes him off. Rey beams and scratches behind his ears, slowly sitting down beside Ben on the top step.

“They’re so warm,” she whispers, like she’s worried she’ll scare them.

“Yeah, little space heaters.” Maz sets a hand on her hip. “I’m going into town for a couple things—been a while, since I can’t leave these little rascals unsupervised. I’ll be back.”

Ben glances at Rey and the other two puppies struggling to get in her lap. He doesn’t want to be alone with her. _No_.

But Maz waves and leaves, and then he is alone with her, clutching the runt puppy like a life preserver. Rey waves to Maz’s retreating truck and smiles at Ben. He stares. The runt licks his chin.

“Do they have names?” she asks.

“Uh… not that I know of.”

“Well they need names, right?” Rey laughs. She holds the big male at arm’s length, puckering her lips. “This one looks like a Balto. Did you ever see that movie?”

“Nope.”

“Oh. We should watch it sometime, it’s really good.”

“Not really into Disney movies,” Ben continues. He sets down the female and she immediately tackles the big male, Balto. “Or any movies.”

“No? Well, I was going to suggest Aleu for the girl, but…” She shrugs, clasping her hands between her knees and watching the female bite her brother’s ear. “She’s obviously yours.”

That’s okay. Aleu is perfect.

“It’s great,” Ben blurts. He swallows, avoiding Rey’s eyes. “I would’ve named her Midnight or something lame like that. Aleu is great—like the Aleutian Islands. It’s perfect.” He points to the other two boys. “How about them? Since you’re good at this.”

“Muk and Luk. Definitely. You really need to see that movie so you know the context.”

She shoots him another smile as she stands, and the puppies swirl around her feet, yapping excitedly. Ben stares as they paw at her legs until she picks up Aleu and props her over her shoulder, big blue eyes staring at him like she doesn’t get why he’s hanging back.

He tears his eyes away and gazes across the open field to the woods where he watched them the night before. Alright. Tonight, he watches _Balto_.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry I did this twice!!! The formatting was fucked up and I panicked lmao
> 
> also Ben fantasizes about banging Rey when he’s a wolf, which has been in the tags as “werewolf sex” but I added bestiality as a tag as well

_Balto _is a little on the nose for Ben’s liking: denying the inner wolf in a failed bid to belong in an unfriendly world—he wonders if Rey knows more than she lets on. It’s a cute movie, just… accurate.

He’s dozing off watching the sequel Sunday night when his phone vibrates. Yawning, Ben unlocks it, expecting a text from his mother chastising him for getting too close to the humans. Amilyn would gladly rat him out for almost giving up the big werewolf secret, endangering packs across the whole country.

But it’s not her.

> **Today ** _7:13 PM_
> 
> hey!! did ya watch the movie?

He sits up, running a hand through his hair and staring at Rey’s text. Don’t answer. She’s seventeen.

> Yeah, it was great. I’m on the sequel.
> 
> that’s where aleu is from!  
spoiler alert lol
> 
> Lol no worries, I’m well past that part.  
Any other recommendations?
> 
> literally dozens, most of them animated haha. you don’t seem like an animated movies type of guy, though
> 
> I’ll watch whatever. Can’t only watch Fargo and Reservoir Dogs.
> 
> i LOVE steve buschemi!! we should watch one of his movies sometime

Ben’s heart skips a beat. He smiles at his phone, thoughts wandering to Rey and how it might feel with her sitting next to him. Great. Fantastic. But she’s still in high school and very off-limits.

At least she doesn’t hate him. After she ran away from his wolf form he couldn’t shake the paranoia that his mate hated him and hated wolves, and it kept him up at night worrying. Aleu and her brothers loved Rey and she’s trying to get him to hang out with her.

…They _could. _As friends. That’s not illegal—and she’s emancipated, close to graduating… not really a kid, kid. Sort of a young adult.

He winces and shakes his head. “Nice. Creepy.”

Almost as creepy as considering how easy it would’ve been to kidnap her when she was a little kid. Wolf brain doesn’t care about human decorum, though, just securing his mate by any means necessary. And wolf brain has been very loud lately.

Ben sends a lame excuse that he needs to go to bed because he doesn’t know what else to say without outright rejecting her. He tosses his phone on the coffee table and goes to lie down for a while, staring at the ceiling and fighting the urge to go watch her instead. What’s she doing? Is she hanging out with Finn? Rose? Is that Jack guy going to come back?

Fuck, she looked so hot in those overalls. Ben rubs his face and sees them flash in his mind’s eye again, and how one strap kept sliding off her shoulder, and he saw a pink bra underneath. She barely noticed. Rey was too busy carrying puppies around and laughing when they shook off their bath water to notice him drooling over her _shoulder_.

Something else ebbs into his thoughts; something hot and confusing: Rey naked, however she may look, curled up with tiny puppies that barely have their eyes open. Maybe pregnant with the next litter, hazel eyes hooded and watching him approach, lips lifting in a sleepy, sated smile.

“Fuck,” he mumbles. Ben gropes to get his jeans open and spits in his palm, eagerly stroking his cock. He groans and it dips into a deep growl.

It’s ridiculously hot to imagine her pregnant with _his _babies, and nurturing them, and he can almost feel the floor on his paws as he comes to join her in bed. Would it be hard to fuck her that way? If she gets on all fours and arches up, Ben can imagine how easy it would be to mount her.

His breath hitches as he strokes his cock furiously to the vague fantasy, and he feels the unfamiliar swell of his knot starting. It’s been years—hasn’t happened since he was a teenager—and he mutters a breathless curse. Holy shit. Holy _shit_. Maybe he should go find her and show her. Then she’ll understand. She’ll want it when she sees it and sees how he needs her.

Ben squeezes his knot and it sends an excited shiver down his spine. All he wants to do is find her and stuff it in her and sink his teeth into the nape of her neck.

He massages the knot gently, trying to keep from tipping over the edge and enjoy the moment. But his hungry thoughts weave a clearer image of his enormous wolf form draped over her slim back, and he moves his hand faster again. It’s fucking demented but Ben comes in less than a minute, overstimulated, whimpering in frustration when nothing warm and wet squeezes his swollen knot.

“_Fuck_!” he snaps. He winces, writhing in his bed, knuckles and shirt covered in cum. The worst part is his knot aching despite his desperate massaging to ease the discomfort. “Ow, ow—_ow_—”

Punishment fits the crime.

—•—

“We just found him out here. Real sad.”

Bugs buzz in the thicket as Ben crouches at the side of a downed bull moose that’s been shot right through the ribs. It’s back to work as usual, and the first disaster has already struck on Monday morning. Poaching, then proceeding to waste the kill.

Behind him stands a local, Marvin, who happened to be driving by in his truck when he spotted the moose bleeding out in the bushes. It’s been dead for some time—shot with a gun Marvin doesn’t own. Every once in a while somebody gets excited when they see a moose and decides its better dead and unused than alive.

Ben touches the bloody stumps where the antlers used to be. “Thanks for calling it in, Marv. I’ll get somebody over here to help me lug him out.”

“Yeah, no problem. Such a waste.” He scratches his bald head. “Can the meat be donated?”

“Maybe. Might be too rotted out from the water.”

Marvin goes on his way and Ben searches the area for clues. Killing moose out of season and without permits is a serious offense, but luckily, most poachers don’t clean up after themselves. He soon finds shells and bloody boot prints, and a sample of gray fur clinging to the edge of a reed. Somebody with a hunting dog, then.

He’s standing over the moose chewing his lower lip when he feels his phone vibrate. Gonna be a bitch getting this thing out of the marsh.

> **Today ** _2:24 PM_
> 
> hey ben, it’s rey

Like he doesn’t already know. Ben texts her back and checks over the bullet holes on the moose’s hide once more while he waits for back up. Officer Miranda can’t possibly help him lift a moose to Holdo called Poe fucking Dameron, who is useless in every other capacity. But it’s something. He’s closest.

> maz called me about the puppies
> 
> What about them? Is everything ok?
> 
> yeah they’re ok!! Sorry  
she had to take a bunch of new animals today and doesn’t have room, so she asked me to pick them up and bring them to your house  
she said you wouldn’t mind

Ben definitely doesn’t mind taking the puppies. He smiles a little.

> Yeah that’s fine. Where are they now?
> 
> well…  
i was taking them out of Finn’s car and they kind of… ran away

Oh no. Oh _no. _

Ben rushes to his truck to set down his phone and keys and locks it all inside. Fastest way to find the puppies is not in human form, but he only has a handful of minutes before Poe shows to move the bull. He won’t be happy to see the giant wolf again.

Doesn’t matter. Ben strips and transforms, stumbling for a minute before he gets his bearings. He crushes through the underbrush to grab the moose by its leg and drag it up to the side of the road for Poe, and takes off as soon as he hears tires on the gravel. Can’t get caught but can’t risk the puppies getting lost or killed by the other alpha male he’s smelled.

He races headlong toward Rey’s house. He’s not mad at her—puppies like wandering off as they get older—but he’s scared sick they’ll wander the wrong way.

In his flurry to find his missing puppies, Ben vaguely realizes that he’s created a real problem for himself. Poe will notice he’s missing and his clothes are still there, probably send out a missing person report, and Rey might see his gigantic wolf self wandering around the woods searching for the puppies. She’ll probably put two and two together.

He slows in a thicket. It’s been a long time since he tried to alter his form but something smaller will be easier to conceal. Ben sits, closing his eyes and trying not to panic about the puppies, dipping into the weird energy that lets him transform in the first place.

His skin prickles and burns, receding and rearranging him into an average-sized wolf. He resumes running through the woods, satisfied that he won’t attract as much attention in this form.

But the harsh scent of the other alpha male accosts Ben as he approaches the woods surrounding Rey’s house. He curls his upper lip, circling and sniffing for any sign of the puppies and hoping they haven’t been hurt. They couldn’t have gone too far. Aleu is the one most at risk for wandering off alone.

Leaves and needles crunch under Ben’s paws as he circles the scent of the puppies heading in different directions. He whimpers, frustrated, and decides to sit and howl to see if they come to him.

It’s quiet. Rey tugs at the corner of his heart but Ben scans the trees and ignores it. Come on. They have to be close by.

Then he hears soft yapping, quickly followed by Muk and Luk racing toward him from a bush. Relieved, Ben licks them when they tumble into his ribs, partly checking to see if they have the scent of Balto or Aleu or another wolf. But it’s just Rey, and it makes him even more anxious to find the other two.

_‘where are they?’ _Ben asks, nudging Muk.

They’re too young to speak to him directly. He huffs when they start playing instead, oblivious to the danger their sister and brother are in.

Ben wanders deeper into the forest, nose to the ground, puppies rolling through the leaves behind him. He’s coming upon a log that carries the scent of Aleu when he senses the yanking in his heart has gotten even worse. He lifts his head, tilting it, and turns to look over his shoulder.

Rey stands a couple feet away, staring at him. She’s wearing jeans and a T-shirt and has a bag of treats meant to lure the puppies in. She stares and Ben blinks and stares back at her. Uh…

Muk and Luk race to her side. Rey teeters back a step like she’s going to run away, and that’s probably a good thing, but a low growl makes her stop dead. Ben’s hackles raise and he growls as he looks forward once more. He can smell him.

There’s a big white wolf standing on the log, flanked by two other gray wolves. Ben curls his lip but resists the instinctive urge time snarl and start a fight, because Rey and the puppies are here, and he doesn’t want to risk them getting hurt. _And _he isn’t in his true form, the one big enough to send the other wolves packing. Fuck.

_‘abomination’ _echoes from the white wolf. He’s old, covered in scars. _‘begone’_

_‘where are they?’ _Ben demands.

The white wolf snarls, pinning his ears back. _‘abomination! abomination!’ _He bears his teeth. _‘you don’t belong here!’_

Scattering leaves make Ben’s ears prick. He looks—Rey is racing down the hill with Muk and Luk in her arms, and it inspires a pulse of rage from the alpha wolf on the log.

The two smaller wolves leap off their perch first and Ben tackles one to the ground. The second one rounds on him and he snaps his jaw blindly, heart racing as they lock into snarling and biting. He catches a glimpse of the white wolf chasing Rey and it makes his blood boil right to the tipping point.

He transforms, this time half man and half wolf. It’s easier to throw the two gray wolves aside with broad swipes of his hands, tipped in claws and fur, and they recoil when they get a good look at him. Ben gives a warning growl before he takes off to stop the other alpha male from killing his mate.

He shapeshifts once more into a gigantic black wolf, quickly overtaking the other wolf who is a couple feet behind Rey. Ben leaps in his path and does an about-face to block him from going any further, digging his nails into the soft earth and roaring in case he hasn’t been _clear _enough. He pins his ears to his head and straightens to loom over the white wolf, now hesitating. His ears pin back, too.

_‘they belong to the pack’ _the wolf snaps.

_‘they belong to _my _pack_’ Ben retorts, baring his teeth.

_‘you have no pack, abomination’_

The insult is like a punch to the gut. _No pack. _

Ben stomps a foot. _‘where are the other two pups?’_

_ ‘with a female. where they should be’_

_ ‘they have a female’ _Ben barks, quickly getting lost in the bizarre conversation. A _female_. These things don’t matter to a human man.

The white wolf snorts. _‘they don’t belong with you, abomination’_

He knocks the wolf over with a brutal swipe of his paw, pinning him to the ground. Saliva drips down Ben’s jaw as he considers just killing the miserable old beast and the rest of his pack.

_‘give me back my pups’ _he hisses. _‘now’_

_‘disrespectful whelp—you live in this place and don’t bother to adhere to the natural order’_

Ben pushes harder on the wolf and he gives in. He howls to summon another white wolf, and she comes over the hill with Aleu and Balto trotting behind her.

Relieved, Ben wags his tail a bit, licking them in greeting when they run up to his legs. He gives the white wolf one final shove before turning to follow the puppies racing to Rey, who has fallen over on her behind. Her eyes are wide and slowly trail up his legs as he approaches.

_No pack_. He can make a pack.

She sits up, staring at him, trembling from head to toe. Ben sits politely a handful of feet away, chest swelling with pride as the puppies go to her and trip over each other to climb in her lap. Rey is a good mother. He saw it firsthand.

She hugs Balto to her chest, eyeing Ben. He eagerly licks her face.

“Thank you,” she says.

He tilts his head. Does she know it’s him? Will she say anything if she suspects it?

Ben waits while she herds the puppies and corrals them toward her house. He wants to follow her out of the woods and admit what he is and what he wants, but it’s not the time or place.

Rey turns to wave when she’s emerged into the sunlight, Muk squirming in her arms. She lifts his paw to make him wave, too.

And Ben lopes off into the murky depths of the forest with a searing ache in his heart. There’s only one place he belongs, and he isn’t sure he’ll ever get there.


	7. Chapter 7

Poe still hasn’t come to pick up the moose when Ben returns to his truck, which is both infuriating and a relief. He gets dressed and is just radioing for someone else to come help when Poe comes rumbling around the turn with a flatbed.

He doesn’t say much. Ben helps him load the moose on the truck and doesn’t really breathe until he’s gone, back off around the corner to bring the moose to the soup kitchen. Shit. That was close. Whole thing could’ve blown up in his face. Already bad enough with changing forms so close to Rey and pissing off the wild wolves, but _that_… would’ve been bad.

Rey calls him once he’s on his way over to her house. Amilyn sends a pissed-off text asking where he’s been all day. His shift is over and the puppies need him.

“Ben!” Rey exclaims, breathless. “You won’t _believe _what just happened!”

“Yeah? Sorry, I’ve been trying to move this moose—sorry if I didn’t answer sooner.”

She launches into a detailed account of the wolf fight after brushing off his not answering her earlier calls. Ben texts Amilyn back at a red light to let her know what’s going on and she just says ‘your mother is pissed.’ What else is new? Leia doesn’t transform but she definitely has werewolf blood.

“It was crazy,” Rey says, laughing a little. “But the puppies are all okay now, just tearing up my living room. Are you on your way?”

“Yep, I’ll be there soon.” Ben rubs his steering wheel under his thumb. “Y’want me to grab something for dinner? Probably shouldn’t leave the puppies alone tonight, but I can get something on my way home.”

Yapping interrupts Rey when she tries to answer. She groans—_no, Aleu, that’s my new sweater!_—and tells him that ‘whatever is fine.’

“Gotta go.” She hangs up.

Ben drops his phone in the cup holder and rubs his mouth. Pizza is probably a safe bet.

He swings by NY Pizza on Main Street and only has to wait a couple minutes for a pie. A couple neighborhood kids are loitering around drinking sodas and playing their handheld video games, but they clear out when they see him. Caught a couple of them trying to catch foxes last summer. He was not happy.

Rey sends him a picture of Balto on her kitchen table with his head tilted. He smiles as he sits on the edge of a stool.

> **Today ** _3:27 PM_
> 
> don’t worry, puppies r okay!! i’ll call u
> 
> _4:53 PM_
> 
> look at this douchebag
> 
> Pretty proud of himself.
> 
> can’t blame him  
not easy getting up that high w those stumpy legs

> I’m grabbing a pizza—you want a drink?  
_Delivered_
> 
> i can bring a 2 liter! i also have beer 😉

Ben looks up like someone might catch him considering having beer with a teenager. He leans back in his chair a little, scratching his stubble. He _did _imprint on her, and she’s only a couple months from being eighteen. And she’s emancipated. It’s not like Rey is a typical seventeen year old.

> Sounds good.
> 
> yay!!!!! 🎊🎉 we can watch more animated movies!!!!

“Bad idea,” he mutters. “Bad idea.”

Once the pizza is ready Ben heads out to her apartment to pick her up. His mind spins with the possibilities: she gets tipsy and he kisses her, or sleeps with her, both of which are immoral and shitty things to do. Even messing around with her sober isn’t right.

But he can’t get the image of her carrying around Aleu out of his head; how perfect it looked. He grits his teeth thinking about her curled up in bed with one of his flannels swimming on her, and her tan skin that he _knows _must taste sweet, and her long legs wrapped around his waist. Maybe he can bite her. Maybe she’ll transform and neither of them has to be alone ever again. She doesn’t need college when she has him and their pack.

Of course she needs college. Rey has her whole life ahead of her, and even if it’s right for him, staying stuck behind in Alaska isn’t right for her.

She’s waiting outside when he pulls up, wearing, of all fucking things, a skirt. Ben huffs a frustrated whimper and waves when she hops to her feet and waves to him. Hi. You’re killing me.

She races up to him, hazel eyes bright. “You’re totally right about the wolf. I think it imprinted on me or something. It’s definitely following me.”

Ben shuts his door. “Yeah?”

“It knew the puppies were in trouble and came to help.” Rey folds her arms, suddenly pensive. “I don’t know. I guess it would’ve been better for them to stay with the pack.”

“Maybe. Sometimes the alpha male kills unfamiliar puppies.” Lie. He just doesn’t want anyone taking the puppies away from him.

She nods in agreement as they head inside.

The puppies are in the small dining room yapping and tackling each other across the green carpet. Aleu notices Ben first and charges at his legs, scratching and barking until he picks her up and gives her a squeeze. She licks his face and her tail wags a mile a minute. She knows it was him who saved her from the pack. He’s not ready to give her up.

Rey grabs Balto and her purse before they leave, Muk and Luk running behind them to keep up. They start to wander off and Ben whistles sharply to bring them back in. Idiots. The hell are they going?

“I’ll put the pizza in the bed,” Rey calls. She sets Balto in the truck and does just that. Good idea. Ben doesn’t want the puppies jumping out of the back while he’s driving home.

Rey gets the instructions and some other odds and ends from Maz before they leave: the bed they slept on, their formula and bottles, and shampoo. Ben climbs in the driver’s side and Aleu plants herself on his lap, staring out the windshield.

It’s a mess. The puppies climb all over Rey trying to see out the windows and Ben smiles at the chaos, her groaning and trying to get them to sit still. He shifts into reverse and puts a little force behind his voice when he tells them to sit, and they all stop, ears pricked. They sit.

“They listen to you better,” Rey complains. She pets Balto, now quiet in her lap.

“Pack thing.” He gently lifts Aleu from his lap and hands her to Rey. “They respond better to men—they think you’re their mother, so they associate you with food and stuff like that. Get excited.”

She laughs. “Yeah? I lost them earlier so I don’t think I’m a very good mother, but at least they have a good dad to look up to.”

Ben tries to smile and laugh like it’s a funny joke. His mate thinks he’s a good father and it’s making his mind race again, straight to hunting and fucking and gently licking his newborn pups clean while their mother sleeps off her exhaustion. What the fuck—why is it always going straight to birth and breeding? There are other things in life.

Well, there are to a human. To a wolf, successfully mating and providing is the epitome of happiness. But Ben isn’t a wolf.

They pull up to his cabin as the sun is setting and let the puppies out of the truck. Rey gets the pizza and the beer and Ben grabs the puppy stuff from Maz, whistling as he walks in to call them inside. They scamper through leaves and pine needles and almost trip him in their rush through the door.

He shuts and locks it. Wolf brain buzzes to life, watching Rey set the food on the kitchen island and lean over to pick up Luk. She’s here. She’s here. Now she isn’t going to leave.

“Can I have the grand tour?” she asks, teasing.

Ben nods and sets the puppy stuff down. Get a grip. Of course she can leave.

Rey follows him and sets down Luk when they get to the bathroom. It’s clean and organized like Ben’s stuff tends to be, and she comments that most men are really messy. He shrugs and flicks the light off.

“I don’t like a mess,” he says.

“Oh man, you would _hate _living with me.”

They amble a couple feet to his bedroom and Ben looks down at her when he turns the light on. She smiles back. Her lip gloss is bright pink.

He tears his eyes away. “So this is my bedroom, where I sleep.” He leans on the doorframe and puts his hands in his pockets to make sure they don’t wander. “I’m gonna put the puppies in here.”

Rey brushes past him to inspect. She runs her hand along his bedspread and Ben feels a violent impulse to push her over the edge and—

“Do you draw?”

She’s near his calligraphy shit in the back, which he hasn’t touched in ages. Hard when you have giant hands and very little grace.

He scratches his neck. “Calligraphy.”

“No way.” Rey beams and gestures to herself. “I love calligraphy! I’m not really good at it but who cares, right? Must be hard for you with the big hands.”

“Yeah. It is.”

Just bite her. Fuck her. She wouldn’t be here if she didn’t want it.

She carries on to his bookshelf and finds his high school yearbook, and Ben groans when she holds it up triumphantly. Uh oh.

“Did you have a mullet?” she laughs, sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Yeah, I did.” His mouth waters, gaze lingering on her long, tan legs. Smooth skin. “We should go eat before the puppies get to it. I don’t get Netflix or anything out here so we’ll have to pick a DVD.”

“They’re fine.” She pats the spot next to her. “Come sit.”

Bad idea. Ben looks over his shoulder and sees Aleu tackling Muk, both rolling out of view into the living room. He should check on them and not put himself in a comprising situation with the girl he imprinted on. Bad idea. Very bad idea.

But Balto comes barreling into the bedroom and leaps up next to Rey, saving Ben from having to decide. She drops the book and yelps when the rest of the puppies race into the room to investigate, piling on his bed with their muddy paws. Good thing he has some spare sheets in the hall closet.

Back in the kitchen, Ben sits next to Rey at the island while they eat and chat. The puppies sit in a tight group right behind them, breathing heavy and whining, greedy like babies tend to be.

Rey turns to look. “Aww. Maybe we should give them a little.”

“You’re gonna spoil them. They won’t be able to find pizza when they’re out hunting.”

“Guess not.” She hesitates before turning around and takes a sip of her beer. It’s Budweiser but it’ll do. “How will they learn that wolf stuff anyway? Do you think that big wolf was going to take them? He could’ve taught them but he left them with me.”

“I’ll do what I can.”

Teaching the puppies how to be wolves is beyond exciting. He can’t wait to show them how to track a rabbit and stake out territory and listen to the trees. Corny to a human; supernatural and strange, but it’s just part of communing with the wilderness.

And they can’t stay home forever. They’ll grow up and leave home like Ben did when he was a teenager, and find their mates and start their own families.

He sets up pee pads in the corner of the living room, since they’re still too small to know when to go out. Rey sits near the media stand and runs her finger along the spines of his DVDs, head tilted. Ben stares at her legs. Aleu sits and stares up at him in turn.

Rey clicks her tongue. “Next time I’ll bring more Disney movies, but we can watch…” She picks one and turns to show it to him, beaming. “_My Cousin Vinny_? I like it.”

“Yeah, that’s a good one.”

The puppies hop up on the couch one by one when Rey sit. Ben changes into jeans and a flannel, just so he doesn’t like _too _underdressed, and finds most of the space taken up by wriggling furry bodies struggling to get closer to Rey. It makes his chest swell, and a satisfied growl rumbles in his throat watching his pups bonding with their mother.

Except she’s not their mother—she’s just a human girl playing with cute puppies she’ll forget about when she goes away to Cornell. They won’t forget her, and neither will Ben.

Rey scoops up Muk when Ben ambles to the couch. “I’m being _attacked_!”

He licks her face and paws to get closer. Ben takes him as he sits and gives his scruff a slight tug that tells him to calm down. Muk whimpers, obviously trying to get sympathy from his ‘mother,’ but Rey is too busy corralling the other puppies to notice. Brat.

The movie starts and they get the puppies situated on their laps. Ben stretches an arm over the back of the couch and Rey sidles in, petting Balto with one hand, holding her beer with the other. Her long legs stretch out on the coffee table and Ben forces himself to watch the movie. Don’t look. Don’t look.

He looks. She’s under his arm and the way she’s cradling the puppy puts her elbow on his lap, and Ben flexes his fingers. Long legs. Short skirt. His mind is already working through the possibilities but the lapful of sleepy puppies is like a bucket of ice. But it’s good, because he shouldn’t be touching her anyway.

So Ben sits in tense silence through the movie while she gradually drifts off to sleep, until her head is on his chest. His heart pounds in his ears as he watches the television, light flickering through his dark cabin, and he resists the urge to smell Rey like the disgusting wild animal he is. Her shampoo is nice. She’s warm. She smells good—who cares if he just _smells _her?

Don’t smell her. Don’t smell her.

He takes her beer and sets it on the coffee table so it doesn’t spill. The motion wakes her and the puppies, who yawn and whine at the disturbance.

“Sorry,” Ben whispers. Idiot. “You want me to take you home?”

Rey rubs her eyes sleepily, shaking her head. “No, no, I’m okay. I can sleep on the couch—just to help them settle in.” She covers her mouth when she yawns. “I don’t have anywhere to be in the morning.”

He has to go to work but he doesn’t hate the idea of her puttering around the house tending to the babies while he’s gone. Fine with him if it’s fine with her.

Then she groans. “Right, you have to work. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to impose.”

“No, no, it’s okay. You can stay if you want.” He tries to rein in his excitement. Overeager son of a bitch. “They’ll probably be upset when I leave so if you don’t mind watching them… so they don’t rip up my house.”

“Yeah, sure. I don’t mind. You have a phone charger somewhere?”

Ben extricates himself from the pile of warm bodies and strides down the hall to his bedroom. He only has one charger but he barely uses his phone, so it’s alright if he lends it to Rey for the night.

He unplugs it and finds her at his bedroom door when he turns back, still rubbing her eyes. She looks so vulnerable and small and he suppresses a powerful urge to grab her and throw her in the bed. Bad. Don’t do that. Don’t smell her, either.

Rey smiles in that groggy way when he offers her the charger. “Can I be even more demanding? I could use something to sleep in.”

A puppy howls softly from the living room. She peers over her shoulder and groans while Ben hastily paws through his dresser for something nice for her to wear. Most of it has holes—clean, but holey. He doesn’t see a lot of guests.

“I’ll be right back,” she calls. Pause. “Muk, quit biting—_hey_!”

He finds a red flannel that perfectly matches his fantasy and a new-ish pair of sweatpants that will probably fall of her hips. Rey shuffles out to the living room to chastise Muk, who is busy pinning and biting Aleu. It’s normal stuff for young wolves learning how to communicate. Ben knows he needs to teach them how to use their teeth appropriately.

She huffs once they’re separated, hands on her hips. Ben peels his eyes off her legs when she regards him, and he awkwardly offers her the clothes.

“Thanks,” she says, and then she takes a step closer and kisses his cheek.

It’s an offhanded friendly gesture, but it’s _touch_, and it feels like fire in Ben’s veins. He stares as she takes a couple quiet steps over to the whimpering puppies competing for her attention, and the intrusive thoughts come winding around to haunt him again. He wants her so badly—he’s never wanted anything more. He used to want Anakin’s approval more than anything but now—now he just wants _her_.

Floorboards creak underfoot as Ben silently makes his way to his bedroom, staring blankly, followed by Rey whispering to the softly crying puppies. He opens the door and leans against it when it’s closed. If he moves, he’s afraid of what he might do—so he doesn’t budge.


	8. Chapter 8

Light scratching on the bedroom door wakes Ben alone in his dark bedroom. He rubs his eyes and glances at his alarm clock—1:37am.

Whimpering accompanies the scratching and makes that paternal part of him ruffle with concern. He runs a hand through his hair as he hauls himself out of bed and shuffles to the door to see what’s up.

Aleu darts in. She’s tiny and quick and makes it to the bed before he realizes what’s happening, then she tries leaping up and doesn’t even come close to making it. She falls on her ass in a tangle of clumsy puppy limbs, growling in frustration.

Ben growls, too. “Hey—_no_.”

She makes another go for it and scrabbles at the comforter for a second before falling again. Then she snorts and her ears perk like she has an idea.

Aleu races out of the bedroom down the hall to Rey, Ben tiptoeing behind her whispering insistently for her to go lay down. Rey is fast asleep on the couch swaddled in blankets with Balto in her arms, but he wakes up the second his sister comes running.

“_Hey_!” Ben hisses. “Go to sleep!”

Aleu looks him dead in the face before jumping up on Rey’s shoulder. She licks and licks until Rey’s face scrunches and she’s waking up, groaning.

Ben freezes. Shit. Now he looks like he’s been creeping on her while she was asleep.

Rey turns and the entire pile of puppies is suddenly squirming and awake with mingled whines and yawns. Aleu jumps down and wags her tail, like she’s waiting for the chaos she’s unleashed to begin, and Ben scoops her up as Rey opens her eyes.

She blinks a few times and instead of being terrified like Ben assumed, smiles sleepily. He stares for a long minute before he remembers to smile back. Aleu pants and looks up at him, pleased with herself.

“Hey,” Rey mumbles in a drowsy voice that’s way hotter than it should be. She yawns. “Something wrong?”

“No—no.” Ben shakes his head and hugs Aleu tighter. “She’s just acting weird. I don’t know what her problem is. Sorry she woke you up.”

The other wolves hop off the couch to use the puppy pads or get a drink of water. Rey shrugs as she sits up and the blanket falls away, showing off Ben’s very baggy red flannel that hangs just so on her narrow shoulders. He averts his eyes to Muk sticking his entire snout in a dish of water.

“It’s okay,” she says, “I’ll probably sleep in, anyway.”

Why is it so hot? Maybe it’s because she sounds kind of vulnerable. Hot. Hot. She’s so fucking hot.

Rey walks down the hall to the bathroom and laughs it off when Ben’s sweatpants sag down her hips. He looks up at the ceiling and tries to forget the hem of her panties but it’s seared in his brain like he knew it would be: blue and tight to her hip bone; so tight he’d have to peel them off with his teeth.

The bathroom door shuts and he holds Aleu at arm’s length to glare at her. She wags her tail.

“Behave,” he whispers, scowling. Works his jaw. “Rey and I need our sleep and so do you.”

She barks.

Ben sets Aleu down as the bathroom door opens again. She scampers down the hall to Rey and the other three puppies chase her, all barking and wagging their tails and swirling around her feet. Aleu bites the ankle of her sweatpants and tries tugging her toward the bedroom.

Rey laughs. “What are you—?”

The other three bark and run into the bedroom, where they stand and wag their tails and bark. No, no. Nope. No.

“I’ll sleep out here,” Ben offers quickly.

Aleu runs out to the living room again and barks like hell at him, bent over with her front paws splayed, bouncing from the force of her yaps. She heads toward Rey and looks back at Ben to make sure he’s coming and when he isn’t, she barks and barks some more. She wants them all in the same spot and she might not shut up until they are.

Rey plays with the hem of Ben’s shirt and gives him a shy smile. No. No, no, no.

“I can sleep on the floor,” she offers, like he’d ever let _that _happen.

“It’s alright.” He glares at Aleu as he gives her what she wants and comes down the hall. “I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable or anything.”

She shakes her head and they stop in the hall and neither moves for an awkward pause. This is ridiculous. Stupid.

Aleu trots past them and her brothers to the bed, where she sits on the floor and shoots Ben an expectant look. He’s created a monster.

Rey walks in first and climbs in the empty side he never touches. Only Balto is big enough to jump up on his own and the others have to be picked up like the spoiled brats they are, all tumbling into a furry warm pile beside Rey. She smiles and hugs them and Ben gets a strange feeling that he’s intruding.

His skin prickles. He should hunt. His mate needs more food if she’s going to nurse four puppies and give him another litter by next spring.

Ben’s pant leg tugs. He blinks and looks down at Aleu, who sits on her hind legs and waves her paws, whining. Right. Right. Maybe tomorrow after work. Humans make _money _to get the things they need, and he’s a human.

So is Rey. Even though the puppies love her and he imprinted on her, she’s still human, and he can’t just bring her a raw deer carcass.

He drops Aleu in the pile with her brothers and awkwardly gets into bed. At least the wolves will help keep some distance between him and Rey. She’s emancipated and almost done with high school but she’s still not eighteen and he isn’t going to be _that _guy. He’s survived without her for almost three decades already. What’s another one matter?

Rey scratches Balto’s head as he curls into a ball next to her stomach. The other two try forcing their way in as close as they can get, but Aleu comes to lie next to Ben instead. He pets her and she nips his pinkie.

“Okay,” Rey whispers, “back to bed I guess. They really _are _spoiled.”

She closes her eyes and that gives Ben the opportunity to stare at her. They all gradually fall asleep and another powerful impulse to provide tingles along his forearms—like he has to go out right now and kill something and bring it home for them, even though the puppies are still bottle-fed.

Be a human. Go to work. She needs a human.

—•—

Ben hesitates repeatedly while he gets ready for work in the morning, checking in on Rey and the puppies still asleep in the bed. He loops on his belt in the bedroom door and watches them, filled to the brim with a weird syrupy warmth at the sight. They’re all his. All five. _His_.

Eventually he pries himself away to clean up the puppy pads and set out the formula for breakfast. Hopefully she can handle feeding them alone.

The itch to _provide _something skitters along Ben’s skin when he leaves the cabin. He scratches his neck and stares at the closed door as the truck’s engine turns over, a rumbling reminder that he’s a human and so is his mate. It feels wrong leaving them alone all day while he walks around in human clothes doing human things. He should be out hunting. Patrolling. Teaching the puppies how to listen and feel the world around them.

It’s spring and his mate isn’t even pregnant. What a waste. She _should _be. He should be helping her feed their babies and bringing home food, not putting on an uncomfortable uniform to mingle with humans. No woman would be receptive towards someone as misguided as he is. He has to prove that he can provide or she’s going to leave and breed with the white alpha instead.

Ben blankly watches the front door, ready to cut the engine and go back inside. First things first: he needs to put a litter in his mate before she tries to leave.

His phone rings. The cloud of possessive urges dispels from the sound and Ben hurries to answer the call to distract himself from feeling guilty. It isn’t like he would’ve really fucked her.

“Solo.”

“Amilyn tells me you’ve been galavanting around the woods, Ben.”

More subdued human irritation overtakes the wolf urges to fuck and hunt. It’s his fucking mother.

He hangs up and tosses his phone in the passenger seat before he pulls out of the driveway. Not going to let Leia ruin a good day with her stream of criticism. She can’t transform into a wolf but she definitely got the insufferable attitude of one.

She calls back but he ignores it on the drive to work, and continues ignoring her texts. _Someone will see you. That whole thing drove your grandfather mad_.

Two of the werewolves Ben knows of are his direct relatives: Uncle Luke, who is unfortunately still alive, and Grandpa Anakin, who’s long dead. A family friend named Obi Wan could transform and Ahsoka, one of grandpa’s friends, but she was always out doing her own thing in the wild and didn’t come around much.

That’s it. Bunch of old men and one woman who was way too old for him anyway.

But Ben is positive he’s found his pack now. Obi and grandpa and Ahsoka always had each other, and Uncle Luke gave it up long ago. He’s always wanted a place to belong and he found _more _than that: he imprinted and adopted a litter of puppies all his own.

Ben sits on the bench in the locker room and closes his eyes for a minute. He can be whatever Rey needs him to be.

On cue, she sends him a picture of all four puppies crowded around her feet while she’s brushing her teeth. They all have their heads tilted but Ben’s gaze is drawn to her bare hip. She’s not wearing pants.

> **Yesterday ** _5:12 PM_
> 
> Sounds good.
> 
> yay!!!!! 🎊🎉 we can watch more animated movies!!  
_Read 5:13 PM_
> 
> **Today ** _7:16 AM_

> omg help me
> 
> Too late. You’re their mother now.  
_Delivered_
> 
> sigh. single mom of wolf puppies, just like i always dreamed.
> 
> You have me  
If you want

One of the lockers shuts and Ben glances up to nod to another officer. Rey is still typing when he looks down again and his chest feels tight. Maybe that was too strong. Creepy. Had to be creepy.

> of course i do 💛  
_Read 7:19 AM_

Interpreting texts isn’t really Ben’s forte but that seems straightforward. He rubs his mouth to hide a smile and slips his phone in his pocket. Good. Good day so far.

—•—

By the time Ben goes home around three, he’s dreading it. Rey will want to go back to her apartment and he’ll be left alone with their babies, once again too attached and suffering for it.

He drags out the short drive to the cabin and sits in his truck once the engine is off. Cold yawns open in his chest like he’s been stabbed with an icicle. She’s going to go home. She should. He shouldn’t have a teenager in his house.

Ben heaves a sigh before he gets out and heads for the door. He plays with his keys, considering transforming forever and running off into the woods, and seeing if she decides to just move in on her own. House would be empty. Why not?

Dumb. Moron.

He opens the door and is greeted by all four wolves barking and yapping and tripping over each other. He quickly shuts it before they get out and crouches to pet them, then he realizes that the house smells different. Like food. Cooking food.

Rey is sitting on the couch where she must’ve been curled up with the puppies. She waves and beams—her hair is up in a ponytail and she’s still wearing the red flannel, but the sleeves are rolled up. She sets her phone on the coffee table and wriggles under the blanket, settling in her spot.

“I was bored,” she calls. “I made mac and cheese in your crock pot.”

Ben blinks. She made dinner?

“You didn’t have to do that,” he says, worried she might think she has to repay him.

“I know.” Rey shrugs and averts her eyes. “I dunno. It might be bad. Sorry if it’s bad.”

Ben shakes off the puppies and they follow him out to the kitchen. It definitely doesn’t _smell _bad, and smell is usually the first indication something will taste like shit. Rey peers over the back of the couch.

He nods, ashamed of how satisfied he is by her making him dinner. “Smells good. Thanks.”

“Sure, sure. I hope it’s good; I used this recipe I found on Pinterest.”

She climbs over the back of the couch and pads out to the kitchen to show him. She’s wearing her skirt and the flannel which is an interesting combination that is somehow the hottest thing Ben has ever seen. He clenches his jaw and tries to be polite while she stands next to him and scrolls through the recipe.

“See?” Her thin finger passes over the screen. “I used literally all the cheese I could find so… you’ll need more cheese.”

Rey looks up and smiles and Ben digs his fingers into his hip, squeezing the edge of the island with his other hand. He manages a smile. Don’t kiss her. Don’t kiss her. She doesn’t want you to kiss her. Not when you’re talking about cheese.

“Great,” he says.

Kiss her. Just do it. Then bend her over the arm of the couch and _bite her_.

Rey nods and shrugs, looking down. “I can pay you back for everything I used, too. I made a list.”

“It’s okay; don’t worry about it. You kept the puppies alive and kept them destroying my house so I think we’re pretty even.”

“And what a job _that _was. They’re brats!”

Ben laughs and nods at her exasperated eye roll. She launches into telling him all about which one jumped where or tried to bite what, but he’s too distracted by the anxiety of her leaving to pay much attention.

He changes and insists on feeding the puppies their dinner while she goes to take a proper shower. Ben’s eyes grow heavy while he feeds each one and lets them curl up next to him to sleep once they’re full, until he dozing off with Aleu aggressively biting the nipple and growling. It’s gonna rain—the air pressure is changing and making them all antsy.

“Ben?”

He blinks, and realizes he fell asleep. It’s raining now and Aleu is passed out in his lap, but Rey is holding Balto, also conked out. Her hair is wet and she smells like his shampoo. Maybe he’s dreaming.

She smiles, nodding toward the kitchen. “I’m going to go put them in the bed but do you want food after? You should eat something.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Ben sits up and nods. “Yeah, I’ll get some.”

“It’s probably muddy and gross so I can just go home tomorrow if you want.”

His heart skips a beat. He keeps nodding and helps Rey gather the rest of the puppies to bring into the bedroom and take over his bed. It’s not even six—he shouldn’t be this tired. Jesus Christ what an old man he’s becoming.

But Rey is staying, even if it’s just for another night. That’s something to hold onto.

The puppies whine until Rey goes back to the bedroom and lies down with them, so Ben sits and eats alone in the kitchen. He doesn’t mind. They need her more than he does. He has all night to stare at her and wish he could lean across the two feet between them and kiss her.

And he does. After he showers and brushes his teeth, after the dinner she made is put away in the fridge, Ben just lies there on his side and watches his mate sleep, same way he did the night before, afraid she’ll disappear if he closes his eyes.

Maybe that’s why he’s so tired.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOTS HAPPENING THIS CHAP

Rain comes in the middle of the night. It’s a subtle shift in air pressure that wakes up the wolves, and they whine and squirm closer to Rey. Ben pets them until they fall back asleep, then gets up to smoke.

It’s cool out. Dark. He lights his cigarette and scans the woods for any eye shine—not that the white wolf would be dumb enough to come wandering near his house. Wolves generally know when to keep their distance, especially when a _bigger _wolf is around.

And Ben is the biggest.

His territorial thoughts bring back the urge to go kill something and bring it home. He finishes his cigarette and blows smoke as he leans over to peek in the living room window. Hopefully Rey is still asleep. She can’t know what he is. Yet. But he shouldn’t go running off into the woods and leave his mate and puppies vulnerable.

They’re so little still. Not even eating meat yet. Feeding their mother is more important than dragging a carcass back for all of them to feast on, and humans don’t have much use for raw meat with bite holes in it. She probably won’t like that.

Long-dormant instincts gnaw at Ben as he goes back into the house and throws away the cigarette butt. Wolf and man both think they’re right—and really, they both _are _right. But Rey can’t know he’s a fucking werewolf. He’s fucked if anyone finds out.

“Ben?”

He glances up and his mouth waters. Rey is standing in the mouth of the hallway rubbing her eyes, wearing a blue flannel rolled up to her elbows and a pair of his sweatpants rolled up to her knees. The flannel is unbuttoned far down enough for him to see her cleavage and he quickly peels his eyes away from her seventeen-year-old chest.

“Hi,” he manages. He studies the ceiling.

Rey shuffles closer, crossing her arms, squinting in the soft kitchen light. “Can I get some water, please?”

Ben quickly gets a glass down from the cabinet over the sink and fills it up. When he turns she’s standing _right _behind him and he jumps a little in surprise, drawing a sleepy smile to her face and a raspy laugh.

His heart pounds in his ears. The fridge buzzes, rain drums on the kitchen windows—it all crystallizes into one sound like a dull roar and he swiftly bends down to kiss her.

Rey jerks back at first, wide hazel eyes staring at him. Whoops. Fuck. An apology climbs in his throat.

“Fuck, I’m sor—”

She seizes the front of his shirt and pulls him in for another kiss, making Ben stumble forward and nearly drop the glass. He drops it on the island, spilling water on the floor, but he doesn’t really care. His hands are in her hair and he takes two more steps to push her against the island.

She smells so good. She’s warm. Her small hands fist his shirt and Ben’s fingers tighten in her hair, brain going haywire as he deepens the kiss. Gotta bite her. Gotta _fuck _her.

It swirls in his head and makes it hard to think straight. Her tongue is in his mouth, and she’s trying to lift her leg up on his hip. Ben sets a hand on the island and jerks closer, skin prickling with excitement. She wants him. Gotta bite her before someone else does.

The prickling gets worse, and Ben casts a lazy glance toward his hand on the island.

It’s half-transformed into a paw. His hooded eyes widen and Rey hesitates in kissing him, then stops, frowning. Ben stares at his paw a second too long and she curiously looks over her shoulder.

He quickly sweeps the arm around her waist, laughing uncomfortably as he hides it behind his back. Rey blinks and cocks her head when Ben takes a couple steps toward the fridge. Holy shit. No, no, no.

“Is everything okay?” she asks.

He bumps into the fridge. His skin tingles up to his elbow but he shakes his head, shrugging, and Rey narrows her eyes.

“I shouldn’t be kissing… you,” he blurts, searching for an excuse. That’s a good one. He shouldn’t be.

“Oh.” Her eyes drop to his arm. She raises her brows, gaze flickering back up to his. “Did you touch broken glass?”

“…Yup. Lots of blood.”

“You don’t have to hide it from me. I don’t mind blood.”

Rey smiles and comes closer and Ben shakes his head faster. Fuck. What the fuck—the transformation is burning further up his arm and she’s going to wonder why he has a fucking _claw _for a hand—

A mournful howl comes from the bedroom, long and low and full of all the angst a puppy can muster. Rey looks back and that gives Ben a chance to back toward the door. He has to get outside. Can’t stop the transformation.

“I’ll be back,” he croaks. He motions to the hall, laughing awkwardly. “Sounds like the puppies need you. I’ll—I’ll be back.”

She’s still frowning when he escapes out the front door.

Ben bolts for the woods, not bothering to shed his clothes, afraid it will be even more incriminating if she finds evidence of him stripping. His heart pounds in his throat as the transformation violently takes over, burning up into his chest and skull and morphing him in a split second. He staggers deeper into the trees, heaving and panting and checking over his shoulder to make sure Rey isn’t following. This form can’t be explained away. He _looks _like a werewolf.

He lopes on all fours between some trees and leans against a trunk. That was fucking close.

“Ben?”

Rey’s voice floats from the house; it must be at least a hundred feet away at this point. She’s calling for him, voice pitching with worry, and his chest tightens. He should go back. She needs him.

He closes his eyes and swallows. Focus. Don’t get distracted. When you’re distracted, you lose control of yourself.

Rain drums around him. Ben clenches his jaw when Rey calls his name again and he resists the impulse to go to her. Don’t. You’re going to scare the shit out of her. She’s going to run away.

“Ben? Are you okay?”

_go go — go now go now_

His eyes snap open as her scent slowly draws nearer, diluted by the rain. He can _feel _her. It’s painful even being away from her at this distance. He won’t survive her going to fucking New York. He’s going to die. She needs to stay here—she _has _to stay here.

Her steps wander through the woods, maybe following his trail of shredded clothes. Ben listens intently and drops to a crouch when she walks past the cluster of trees where he’s hiding. He stares as she turns in a circle, holding a couple scraps of his shirt. She’s getting soaked.

“Ben?” she calls again. Rey chews her lower lip. “Are you out here?”

He leans forward onto his front paws. If he—if he _tries _to bite her nape—if he imprinted on her, she should be able to transform, and if she’s a werewolf then she’ll stay with him.

The impulse snaps through his mind like a knife. Ben winces, struggling to retain his common sense: that Rey is a human and not even out of high school and he shouldn’t make such a big decision for her. But it would be so easy to close the space between them, grab her and pin her down—

She turns and he freezes but it’s too late. Her eyes fall upon him crouched in the ferns.

Ben’s ears flatten as Rey’s mouth slowly falls open. Her hair is drenched and he can feel the wet down to his bones, but she’s teetering back a step, eyes wide and terrified, and he whimpers. Don’t go. He pads forward a couple steps and dips his head, hoping she won’t see him as a threat. Don’t go.

But she’s silent. Staring, mouth agape. If she tries to run away, he isn’t sure he’s going to let her go.

Then she swallows, a really dramatic bob of her throat. “…Ben?”

He nods and whimpers and comes closer on all fours. His fucking body won’t cooperate and transform. Would’ve been easier to explain away the giant wolf.

Rey flexes her hands and manages a nod. She doesn’t take her eyes off him.

“Okay.” She keeps nodding. “Are you—are you going to kill me?”

_Never_. Ben quickly shakes his head and rises to two legs, anxious that she’s afraid of him, and the sudden movement makes her backpedal again. He flattens his ears once more and whines as he sinks to all fours. He would never kill her. He _would _love to fuck her. But he can’t, even if his animal brain thinks he’s entitled to her. That’s… wrong.

It takes a while for morality to ooze through Ben’s consciousness. He’s too worried about more important things, like food and breeding and propagating his species. Carrying on _his _genetics. Whether Rey is a willing participant or not is secondary to the needs of the species.

She shivers. “Are you the giant wolf?”

Ben nods. Yes. I’ve been protecting you.

“…And you’re not going to hurt me?”

He shakes his head fast. Never.

Rey nods and wipes some rain off her face. She hesitates, but starts toward him, slow steps through puddles and mud and ferns. Ben sits and waits for her to approach. His tail wags lightly but he stops it when she’s almost upon him, staring like she’s mesmerized. Rey takes a deep breath and reaches out a hand.

He leans in, nuzzling her palm. His insides twist and melt as her trembling fingers wind through his fur, roaming up over his head with the curiosity most humans would have when meeting a werewolf. It feels great; it’s like being groomed. Ben closes his eyes and rests his head in her palm. Rain be damned—Rey is touching him, and she didn’t run for the fucking hills like she should’ve.

She smiles, running a hand on the top of his snout. “Kinda rough. Like a German shepherd.”

Wait ‘til she sees the shedding. He arches his jaw to let her scratch under it.

“I had a weird dream about you turning into a wolf. I thought it was ridiculous, but…” She brushes her fingertips along his shoulder. “Seems like that was a premonition.”

Yes, yes, yes—because she’s _meant _to be here with him, that’s why. If only he could fucking talk. He’d still fuck it up.

Ben slowly stands on his hind legs, easily towering over Rey. She stares for a second but reaches out for his paw in a confident, fearless way he’s been dreaming of someone doing. Even Grandma Padme was afraid of the half-wolf form.

She cups it in both hands, turning it over and tracing his knuckles up to the tip of a black talon. She’s shivering more and it strikes Ben that she’s got to be freezing cold out here. Still chilly at night.

He nods toward the house, a dim light, and Rey turns to look. She nods, too, quivering.

“Yeah.” She hugs herself. “Let’s go.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let the bestiality BEGINNNNN
> 
> AO3 is experiencing high traffic and now guest users will not be able to immediately see updates until the cache is refreshed—every hour. u may want to consider making an account to subscribe to me or the fic, or follow my twitter to make sure u aren’t missing updates

The puppies are ecstatic when Ben comes lumbering into the cabin looking like he’s straight out of a horror movie, but their thoughts are hard to follow; muddled by his being stuck between two polar opposites. They yap and hop around and put their paws up on his legs until he sinks down to all fours.

Rey shuts and locks the door. She peers through the living room window and draws the blinds.

“Hopefully you don’t get a lot of visitors.” She shivers, shuffling past the puppies all vying for a chance to lick Ben’s face. “I’m just going to get something warm—be right back.”

He watches her go and shakes off when she’s out of sight. The spray of water soaks Aleu and Muk and they shake off in turn, barking and wagging their tails. They’re excited. Wolves always prefer wolves.

Ben awkwardly makes his way around the couch to the slight open space between it and the kitchen, and knocks over a lamp along the way. It’s his fucking house but he panics and fumbles to catch it before it smashes on the floor. Got it for like ten bucks at Walmart. Not exactly a prized possession.

He sits, and the house shakes. The chill goes straight to his bones but it doesn’t seem like he can transform right now. Maybe it’s because he kissed Rey—not exactly sure. Might be a while before he can turn into a human again, and fit in his bed and bathroom and shower. Gonna be a weird couple of days until then. Been a long time since he spent more than twenty four hours in wolf form; maybe fifteen years or so.

Aleu and the other puppies take turns climbing him and teething at his fur, each earning a low warning growl and bared fangs. But that just eggs them on and they sink into crouches to growl back, tails wagging. No manners. That’s his fault.

“I’m guessing you don’t have any werewolf clothes, huh?”

Rey is back, dressed in an old Pink Floyd t-shirt that’s long enough to drape to her knees. No pants. Ben tilts his head and ignores Balto scratching at his foreleg, riveted on his mate’s long tan legs.

She walks to the door to check the deadbolt and Ben’s head slowly turns to follow. He absentmindedly pulls a puppy off his back and drops them on the couch. It _feels _like she’s showing off. _Feels _like an invitation. But for as deeply connected to Rey he is, he still barely knows her. Wolves don’t go out on dates or spend hours talking and in that regard, Ben is still very much a wild animal.

His blood burns hotter. He doesn’t need to know her favorite color to know he loves her.

Rey turns and the puppies whine, overtired from all the excitement and beyond ready for bed. They need a better place to sleep. Somewhere warm and dark and quiet set away from Ben and Rey, so they can start adjusting to sleeping alone.

He picks up Aleu by the scruff with his teeth and easily scoops up the other three in one arm. They squirm and whimper for Rey but quiet down when Ben growls. Can’t have her every single time they want her.

She hangs at the end of the hall while he pulls shit out of the closet and drags the comforter inside to make a small den for the puppies. It’s nothing fancy but it’s soft and safe, and he feels better about leaving them in there as opposed to out in the open on the bed. Ben settles them in the back corner under the hem of his work uniform and they huddle together, well-hidden from any prying eyes. Good.

He sets a pad inside and closes the closet door almost entirely, just so they can come out if they need him badly enough. Aleu blinks slowly and yawns.

Ben crawls to the door on all fours and sees Rey still watching from the end of the hall. Can’t fit on the bed or the couch with her but he can try making the floor comfortable enough to sleep on.

He picks out blankets from the linen closet and brings pillows, satisfied to _do _something for her. She folds her arms while he pushes the couch back and the coffee table forward to make space, and the blanket catches on his talon as he tries to fan it out on the floor. Not perfect, but… it should be comfortable.

Ben sits, and cocks his head at his mate. Done.

“…For me?” Rey asks after a beat.

He nods. Where else would she sleep?

She nods, too, and clears her throat. “Okay—great. Thanks.”

He stares until she tiptoes across the blankets to pick the spot on the inside, up against the side of the couch, and kneels. Ben licks his lips when she drops to all fours to adjust the pillows, giving him a very tempting view of her ass. Thankfully his cock is in its sheath and not just… out, but it won’t be hidden for very long if she keeps moving around like that.

Mesmerized, Ben does what any self-respecting wolf would do: mounts her.

It takes him a split second to grab her hips and yank her to his groin, and another split second for Rey to squeal in shock and squirm away. He whines at first, mindlessly seizing her hips and pulling her ass into his crotch _again_, then she keeps resisting, so he pins his ears back and growls instead.

The threat transcends speech and she freezes. It’s satisfying, just like how slight her hips feel in his paws, and his tail wags a little. He nuzzles her hair and takes deep breaths of her scent. Pretty. Not ovulating. She must be on birth control. That’s a waste.

Ben wraps an arm around her waist and lowers them to the blankets, still sniffing her hair and licking her jaw. Rey huffs when he squeezes a little too hard and he reluctantly lets off so she can breathe. Smells nice. Tastes good. A slight tremor makes her quiver in his arms and _should _be a big red flag that she’s scared, but Ben is too busy obsessively smelling her to care. He’s wanted to for fucking ever. She’s fine. Cold.

Thunder rumbles through the cabin. Ben pauses at the sound, ears pricking—then goes right back to licking whatever skin he can reach. Neck. Cheek. Jaw. He could rip off this stupid fucking shirt and lick her tits, too.

Rey shudders. “Know what’s weird?”

Ben grunts. No clue.

“This is probably the first time I’ve felt like I really _belonged _somewhere—and I barely know you.” She hesitates. “And every time I’m supposed to go back home, I just… don’t want to.”

Then don’t go. Does anything else really matter? He should go to work tomorrow, since it’s a Wednesday like any other, but maybe he won’t.

Vivid fantasies twist through Ben’s mind unbidden, brighter than before, encouraged by having his half-naked mate in his arms. She’s going to stay. He’ll spend the next few days helping her adjust to his cock—maybe put her in the den during the day for safekeeping while he’s out teaching the puppies—then she’s going to learn how to take the whole thing. She’ll like it. She’ll be too sore to do much walking around anyway.

His cock twitches and he grunts, excitedly thrusting as it hardens. He’s too hellbent on shoving it inside Rey to pay attention to her panties in the way, but she reaches back and tugs them down past her knees with a trembling hand. Lightning flashes through the thin slits in the blinds as Ben paws at her hip to bring her closer. Feels good. Her skin feels soft on his cock.

“I haven’t done this,” she whispers, arching her back a little.

Neither has he, but that isn’t going to stop him now. He licks her jaw as the head of his cock brushes warm wetness, then he _pushes_, all rational thought shooting straight out the window. Heat swirls in his brain and Ben ignores the first hint of resistance, not even managing to get the tip inside her but still pushing because he knows he has to _push_—

Rey jerks, quickly shaking her head. “Ow—no—”

Her small gasp of pain is more than enough to make him stop. He releases her, watching with a disappointed pang as she rolls over on her opposite side to face him, breathing heavily. Her skin is flushed pink and she’s noticeably shaking now. Ben whimpers, guilt clouding arousal. Sorry.

She shakes her head and squirms back to him, much to his relief. He greedily wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her to his chest.

“It’s okay,” she pants, “it’s just… it’s kind of big.” Her head is under his chin, breaths quick on his fur. “Sorry. I want to—it’s just…”

It’s his fault for humping her like a wild animal. He hugs her as gently at he can and glares down at his talons resting on her narrow back. Can’t risk touching her with them and sending her to the emergency room.

Still: even though his cock aches and his instincts scream at him to just pin her down and fuck her anyway—he’s happy. Rey _wants _him, and that’s the most important part. He can take his time helping her adjust, and when he’s human—

Ben’s eyes widen, staring straight over Rey to the front door. _When he’s human_. Holy shit—he just almost barebacked a fucking teenager in wolf form. Holy shit he’s fucking stupid. What was he thinking? Does he ever fucking think anymore, or does everything have to check out through his dick first? Oh god. What if there was precum and she gets pregnant? What the f—

Rey runs her fingers through his fur across his stomach and Ben growls, more in surprise than warning. She hesitates, then keeps going, reaching down until her small hand wraps around the base of his cock.

“Since you can’t do this with giant claws,” she teases. Her grip tightens and she strokes his length up to the tip, drawing a guttural growl. “If it’s okay.”

Ben eagerly fucks in her grasp without a moment’s hesitation, aroused haze obscuring his human worries about messing around with a girl in high school. Her hand is soft and she thumbs under his head just the right way. He hugs her close, panting, eyes flickering back as he arches and brushes on the edge of climax, whimpering when she teases under his head _just _the right way. She’s obviously done this before but he couldn’t care less.

His cock swells and his spine tingles—then he comes, huffing and stiffening his hips to jerk quick and hard in her hand. It’s instant relief and primal satisfaction: he’s coming all over his mate and marking her with his scent, and even if she can’t pick up on it, other wolves will.

The knot thickens and Ben gives a couple more involuntary thrusts to help it lock into place. Rey tightens her fingers under it and he shivers, numb with pleasure. Feels so much better than his hand. Nice and soft and wet from his cum and she isn’t squeezing too hard, either. He can pretend it’s buried inside her, tethering them together.

“Is this okay?” she rasps.

Ben grunts. Good. Gonna sleep.

“Does it… does it always do that?”

He manages to shake his head.

“Oh. Okay.” She’s quiet for a blessed second. “When do I let go?”

Doesn’t matter. Ben grunts again and his eyes roll shut. Gonna go to sleep now. She’ll figure it out.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> werewolf on human oral goodbye Jesus

Dawn spills across the living room floor when Ben comes to alone in the makeshift bed. His eyes snap open and he jerks upright, naked and gasping and blessedly human. Hands, chest, face, cock: it’s all back to normal and hopefully stays that way.

He catches his breath and swallows, brushing back his hair and sorting through the previous night. Rey knows what he is and she… definitely touched his dick. Not good. Nothing good happened. It _felt _good. But it wasn’t good.

Sleeping on the floor has not agreed with his back, either. Ben winces as he stands and quietly goes down the hall to take a shower, hoping Rey won’t notice him or wake up. She’s not out in the living room which disappoints him more than it should—but hopefully she’s sleeping in the bed where she’ll be more comfortable.

He quickly washes off and scrubs his hair and wraps a towel around his waist. His heart races as he leaves the bathroom and tiptoes down to the bedroom to check on Rey and the puppies, guilt swirling in his gut. Now she’s complicit in his secret _and _she fucking jerked him off, which he should _not _have allowed. He almost fucked her. Never even had sex. Jesus.

Ben peers into the bedroom. She isn’t sleeping in the bed like he thought, but when he goes to check the puppies in the closet he finds her.

Rey is curled up in a half-circle with all four puppies crammed against her stomach. Everyone seems to be asleep, more than one soft gray belly turned up toward the ceiling, and Rey’s mouth is slightly open. Maybe they started whining for her after he passed out. Fucking _passed out _and didn’t say anything. Just fell asleep. Real fucking smooth.

Ben rolls his neck and carefully takes down one of his clean uniforms. Just let her sleep for now. He can apologize and explain when he comes home from work later.

…Or maybe he can use some of his vacation days. Stay home. Spend time with her.

No. Have to go to work. The more time he spends at home the higher the chance he’s going to wind up fucking her. Maybe tonight he’ll bring her home—get some breathing room. He should bring her home.

Ben gets dressed in the living room and tries to clean up the floor before he leaves. He checks on Rey once more after brushing his teeth, lingering for a minute with his travel mug full of coffee. The urge comes back: he could text Amilyn and ask for a week off; spend all the time he wants with his mate. But he shouldn’t. He should try to detach.

Clear head. Keep a clear head.

He gets to the front door and touches the handle. A puppy barks from the bedroom, soft and sleepy, and he hesitantly half-turns to look over his shoulder.

A week off won’t hurt. Got plenty of time saved up.

Ben shoots Amilyn a text on his way out to the kitchen to dump his coffee. She answers pretty quick but he doesn’t even look, already heading to the bedroom where the whining is getting louder and Rey is groaning ‘please let me sleep.’ They’re probably hungry and looking to go out.

She winces when he slowly opens the closet door and finds all four puppies squirming and whimpering. He can bring them outside. Start showing them stuff.

“Ben?” Rey mumbles. “Don’t you have to work?”

“Taking a few days off.” He whistles and the wolves come tumbling out of the closet, tails wagging. “I’ll feed them and take them out for a bit if you want to get some sleep.”

Rey sits up and nods, yawning. She should rest. They’re his responsibility, too.

“Okay,” she murmurs, already slouching. “Thanks.”

“Sure. Sorry, uh…” He picks up Aleu and Balto under each arm. “Sorry about last night.”

She shrugs sleepily but doesn’t say anything. Ben watches her for another minute before whistling for Muk and Luk to follow him from the bedroom, and he shuts the door behind them.

Teaching the puppies isn’t possible in human form, but Ben is hesitant to transform into a wolf. He feeds them and debates the pros and cons, like properly teaching the puppies manners and survival skills versus getting stuck as a wolf forever, and decides its worth the risk. No one else can teach them. He made sure the white wolf wouldn’t come back.

He brings them outside into the cool morning and takes off his uniform behind his truck. Okay. Should be fine. Last night was just a fluke.

Ben takes a deep breath.

Fire lights up along his nerves and his skin stretches and expands and burns. Aleu sits a few feet away, watching with her head tilted—he blinks and the color is sapped from the world, setting him on all fours and punching a huff from his chest. Never feels good. It doesn’t hurt but it isn’t comfortable.

But the electricity humming under his skin rebounds and drags up his muscles, painful and deep, and Ben helps as he’s forcibly pulled into the uncomfortable in-between form; the _werewolf_. He winces, staggering and catching himself on the side of his truck so the frame groans. Son of a _bitch_.

He sways, growling in frustration. Had a handle on it and now all of a sudden he can’t control what he’s targeting. What the fuck.

The puppies gather in a group and watch him snarling to himself, heads all tilting in one direction before they simultaneously tilt the other way. It’s fine. He can still show them what he wants to in this form but—a fucking werewolf will attract a lot more attention than a big wolf. If someone sees him…

Just have to keep deep in the woods and check the breeze. That’s all.

Ben starts off as slow as he can so the puppies can follow: and they do, racing headlong after him into the underbrush, barking and wagging their tails. They need this. He just has to be careful.

—•—

The day goes by fast: Ben teaches them some basics of hunting and tracking and marking territory, even though most of it won’t make much sense until they’re older. They get to stretch their legs and exercise though, and by four a storm rolls in that soaks them through.

But on the way back home they still jump in puddles and roughhouse. They’re going to need a lot more time outside to reinforce the things he’s teaching them and he isn’t the best to do it. Anakin knew much more than Ben ever will, and he only soaked up bits and pieces of his grandfather’s knowledge.

By the time they get back home all four wolves are exhausted, wandering behind Ben and whining and pawing at him to be carried. He tries ignoring them—they’re already so pampered—but feels guilty when Muk trips over himself into a puddle and carries all four the rest of the way.

Rey is standing on the porch with a mug, facing the other direction. She turns and jumps at first, but smiles when Ben hesitates.

“Sorry!” she calls. “Just… not used to it.”

She’s wearing more of his clothes. He should bring her home so she can pick up a few things but… what if she decides not to come back?

Her eyes widen when she sees the puppies and she bursts out laughing. All four are passed out, caked in mud and probably going to sleep for at least a couple hours. Good day. Ben always loved the days when he’d come home too worn out to give a shit about much else but sleeping.

“Wow.” Rey raises her eyebrows and peers over the rail. “Maybe we should rinse them off out here so your whole house doesn’t get splattered with mud?”

Yeah. Probably.

Around the back of the house she rinses off each drowsy wolf, including Ben—but the mud clings to his fur, so he figures transforming will be easier than trying to scrub it off.

He goes to his truck to shift around the side where Rey won’t see and finds, _yet again_, that he’s stuck.

It has to be from her proximity. It’s not her fault, but because he’s imprinted his fucking body isn’t going to quit until he takes her. He paces and growls and irately tries to transform but there’s no change. Stuck.

“Ben—I’m taking the puppies in, okay?”

He peeks over the hood of the car and nods. Rey disappears inside the house and he goes back to pacing, trying to think of a way to get back to his human form. They need to talk. He has to apologize for last night and offer to take her home. Swear her to secrecy. What if she already told one of her friends?

Transform. Transform. Transform, you fucking—

“Is everything okay?”

Ben turns quickly at Rey’s voice. She’s a couple feet away, frowning, and nods when he gestures to his clothes. Stuck again. Can’t teach the puppies and be with her if he can’t shapeshift at will. At least it’s easier to think clearly today—last night he felt like a wild fucking animal.

Rey looks over her shoulder. “Well I put them in the closet… thing you made, so I think they’re okay. Tired. I’ll feed them when they wake up.”

He nods. Soon they’ll be eating real food. Hunting. He has to be able to teach them, but he also wants to be able to kiss Rey. Even though he shouldn’t.

“Want some help?” she asks, shrugging and sticking her hands in the pockets of her sweatpants. “I can try washing the rest of the mud off. I wanted to get some clothes from home but, um…” She shrugs again. “I figured we should talk about that?”

Ben nods faster, then shakes his head. No. Don’t need to. She’s welcome to stay.

Rey smiles. “I’m not imposing, am I?”

He shakes his huge head as fast as he can and ambles back a step to open the driver’s door. Nope. Go right ahead. Just make sure you come back.

“Well—let me help you, then I’ll go?” He goes back to nodding and she laughs. “Okay, cool. As long as I’m not like… in the way of stuff.”

She leads him around to the hose and Ben sits while she hoses him off. He closes his eyes, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the way the pressure from the recent rainfall tingles in his bones, and the scent of his shampoo in her hair. Rey moves his water-repellent fur to clean further in near his skin and he hums, rumbling into a satisfied purr. He’ll clean her, too.

Ben languidly blinks and sees her trying to wind up the hose. His thoughts swirl into the same hungry haze from last night and he prowls closer on all fours. Mates groom mates.

Rey squeaks when he knocks her over and quickly rolls on her back. He licks her face and she laughs and twists to get away, but her fingers bunch in his fur and pull him closer. She tastes nice: salty and wet like rain and sweat. Warm. Sweet.

“_Ben_!” she giggles. “What are you—?!”

His talons easily rip through the T-shirt she’s wearing, drawing another scandalized gasp and more squirming. It’s broad daylight but not like anyone is coming to visit, so Ben licks her neck and paws at her tattered shirt, rushing to get to as much of her skin as he possibly can. Her breath hitches when his tongue laps across her breast but he doesn’t take time to care about it, sniffing, moving down further.

He shoves his snout between her legs. Rey laughs, raspy and unsure, and Ben pushes his snout further in. His mouth waters at the smell, then he’s pulling at her pants, tail wagging slightly. Smells good. Clean. Like her. He’s seized by a powerful impulse to taste and feel her on his tongue. Never done it before, but… he has to. Now.

Rey’s belly rises and falls with her quick breaths as Ben yanks her pants down. She mumbles something and her thighs part around his head, one hand limply settled on top, fingers loose in his fur. No panties, but Ben doesn’t stop to think about it. He noses the thin skin under her belly button and licks her, gently, and her grip tightens in his fur. Tastes warm and musky and he eagerly licks again and again, passing his tongue along her slit, careful to keep his teeth away.

“Ben,” Rey breathes. “Maybe we should—I don’t want anyone to—”

He nuzzles closer and her hips roll, hesitation lost in a soft moan. All the articles he’s read in _Men’s Health _and shit go out the window: he licks and lingers when she squeezes his fur or her hips gyrate, and his tongue is wide and long enough to stroke most of her pussy. It must be a little rough but she doesn’t seem to mind. Her thighs tremble around the sides of his head and she bites her fist to keep from making _too _much noise. She can do whatever she wants. No one is around and the puppies are napping.

Ben’s cock twitches and he thrusts weakly, excited by the sounds and tastes and smells. The air is clean from the rain and his mate is comfortable and happy—he can mount her here and make it official. Bite her. If he bites her they’ll never be apart again.

She whimpers. “Ben… I’m… I’m…”

Her hips jerk a little quicker and Ben focuses intently on the spot he’s found. She bucks, panting and pushing him closer, and muffles her moan in her fist. She’s coming. He tastes more of her; she’s wet and when he lifts his head to lick his chops her tan cheeks are flushed pink, lips parted, red from being chewed. Her breasts rise and fall with her rapid breaths, long legs spread, pussy glistening—ready.

Then—he hears something.

Ben’s ears prick and he turns, already snarling at the intrusion. Tires down the driveway. Someone is coming. Who?

He hesitates, torn between confronting the intruder and protecting his mate, and decides on the latter. Rey tries to cover herself but he slips an arm under her back and gathers her to his chest, bristling and growling, ignoring her insisting he needs to go hide. No. He’s not leaving her and his young unprotected.

“Ben!” Rey hisses. “Seriously, what if it’s—”

A door opens and shuts. He stiffens and hardly notices the way Rey’s squirming is teasing his cock: then a familiar face comes around the corner, and all thoughts of his cock completely disappear.

His mother scowls the moment her eyes fall upon him clutching his mate to his chest, and he flattens his ears. She’s dressed in a blue pantsuit and heels that are already sinking into the mud. Why the fuck is she here? Doesn’t she have another werewolf to harass?

Leia rolls her eyes. “Don’t bare your teeth at me, Benjamin. Put the poor girl down and get a hold of yourself—we need to talk.”

She walks off and into his house without another word. Ben keeps growling and hugs Rey closer, afraid she might disappear if he lets her go. Leia always fucking interferes. Always keeps him from indulging his instincts; insists that’s what killed grandpa. And now she’s here to micromanage him just like she does to Han and Luke.

Rey buries her face in his fur. “Oh my god. I’m so embarrassed. Is that your _mom_?”

He grunts and sits, glowering at the spot where she was just standing. Fuck her. He’s going to sit right here, and Leia won’t—

“I meant _now_, Ben!”

…Fine. She gets five minutes.


	12. Chapter 12

Transforming comes easy with Leia around to dampen the burning in Ben’s blood, but regret and guilt flow in as he shifts back to his human form.

He rubs his mouth and stares at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, trembling, listening to Rey chatting with his mother. She’s still on his tongue and he quickly brushes his teeth—not because he hates the taste of her, but it keeps reminding him of what he just did to her, and that’s making him nauseous.

Ben throws on a pair of sweatpants sitting on the counter and a sleeveless shirt. He hesitates before he leaves, brushing the handle with his fingertips. This is fucked up. He just ate out a girl in _wolf form_. How is he going to look at her? She must be pissed and grossed out and confused.

The puppies race around his feet the second the door opens, yapping and wagging their tails. Laughter floats down the hall and he awkwardly shuffles along to find Rey leaning on the counter, nodding at something Leia is saying. She’s sitting at the island with a glass of red wine and casts him a judgmental glance. As always.

“Hello Benjamin,” she says coolly.

“Mother.” He rubs the back of his neck and picks up Aleu to let her lick his face. Rey is staring at him. “What’re you here for?”

“Amilyn told me you’ve been having a hard time lately and I wanted to see for myself. Offer help.” She sips her wine, raising her eyebrows. “But I see you’ve already outed yourself to someone, so I’m sure the local news will be here by nightfall.”

Rey blinks when they look her way. Her arms are folded and she turns bright red.

“I’m not going to—say anything,” she insists. “Really. I won’t.”

“Oh. Good.” Leia sets down her glass, toying with the stem. “Because he’ll probably be shot if you do.”

“_Mother_!” Ben snaps.

He won’t be shot: he’ll be taken captive and put in a lab someplace to be studied, which might be worse. Don’t know. Don’t want to find out.

Rey shakes her head fast. “I won’t. I promise. We’ve been doing great—it’s been nice staying here.”

“I could tell that quite well outside.”

Ben shoots Leia another acidic glare and Rey covers her face. His mother shrugs like she always does and takes another sip of wine. She’s insufferable.

“Just remember the children will come out as wolves if you don’t bother changing form,” mother adds.

“Can I talk to you?” Ben interjects, voice cracking a bit. He motions to the door and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Outside?”

Leia sighs but doesn’t argue. He watches her leave and turns to follow—but it feels weird leaving Rey without saying anything or acknowledging her. That’s worse somehow.

He shuffles to her and offers Aleu out, supported in one hand by her belly, and Rey mumbles and takes her. She stares at the floor and avoids his eyes, because why wouldn’t she, and he rubs the nape of his neck again. Say something. Say something. Say something, you fucking moron.

“Be right back,” he says, and gives her a peck on the top of her head.

Rey nods but doesn’t look up. She’s probably going to call the cops. CIA. FBI. Whoever she can.

Leia is already smoking outside when he emerges to shoo her away. She flew all the way here from New York but it wasn’t just to be nice and check up on him. There’s always an ulterior motive with her; she always has something up her sleeve.

Ben ambles down the steps and shakes his head when she offers him a smoke. She seems tired.

“Amilyn told me you were nearly shot.”

“I _was _shot. Poe Dameron.”

“Then I’m sure he’s eager to finish the job and hang you over his filthy fireplace.”

“Yeah, probably,” Ben acquiesces.

Leia flicks her ashes and gazes across the woods, eyes narrowing infinitesimally. “What about the girl?”

“What about her?”

“Did you imprint on her?”

He nudges a rock with the toe of his boot.

“Is it that obvious?”

“Well you’ve never been much of a ladies man, Ben, and I just caught you practically—”

“Yeah, I get it,” he hisses.

Quiet ensues. Maybe he should’ve called to tell her; it should’ve been an exciting mother-son bonding moment. Maybe. But Leia has never understood the animal side of things and never cared to. Her resentment towards Anakin runs deep and strong, and with good reason. He was a far better grandfather than father. Or mate.

A breeze rustles the hem of Leia’s pantsuit and carries the cigarette smoke up into the overcast sky. She watches it for a moment before bending to put out the cigarette on the muddy driveway.

“I’m glad you’re happy,” she says. She pockets the butt.

Ben averts his eyes to a big pine tree and nods. “Thanks. Haven’t told her yet.”

“She looks young. Are you sure it won’t upset her?”

“…I don’t know. I don’t think so. I’m not going to force her to stay or anything.”

“You say that now, but springtime and wolf blood will start twisting terrible things until they seem like common sense.”

“I won’t hurt her,” Ben says defensively.

He won’t. He couldn’t. But Leia smiles in her sad way and cups his cheek, the first touch he’s had from her in a very long time, and he knows—he might. Even if he’s completely certain he _won’t_, nature can be a violent, unpredictable force.

“You’re so much like Han,” she murmurs, stroking his cheek with her nails. “I think she’ll be just fine—but I can’t bear to watch another disaster unfold.”

Ben’s jaw clenches but he obediently leans down to let her kiss his cheek. She pats him once more before she heads off to her BMW, and she doesn’t look back.

He stands there for a minute as the sun sinks lower in the sky, hands in his pockets. Her tail lights disappear in the trees and he figures he won’t see her again for another couple months; maybe another full year. Surprising she came at all: Leia hates the wolf stuff. Hates it. Always tried to keep him from transforming and learning from grandpa—worried he’d go down the same path.

But Ben’s never had much in common with his father. Drifted apart a long time ago. Leia just wants him to remember how to be human.

He wanders back inside, smiling when Rey waves Aleu’s paw at him. She smiles back, which is good. At least she’s looking at him now.

“She’s nice,” Rey says.

“Yeah. Nice.” He shuts the door and hesitates before turning the lock. “You want to stay?”

“If it’s okay with you.”

“Sure. Doesn’t bother me. Just double checking—don’t want you to be uncomfortable or feel like you have to stay or anything.”

Rey shrugs and shakes her head. “I’m okay.”

“Oh. Okay. Good.”

Neither of them says anything for a long minute. Not sure how to broach the subject of eating her out and dry humping her, and how to apologize for it, and how to stop wanting to do it again. He shouldn’t. Leia is right: she’s young and she’s going away to school; she doesn’t need to be held back by him.

Hard to think clearly when he transforms and just wants to fuck her.

Rey gently sets Aleu on the floor and clears her throat, curling a strand of hair behind her ear. She reaches up to the cabinets.

“I’m sorry,” Ben blurts. Can’t take it anymore. He gnaws his lower lip and stares at the back of her head. “I didn’t mean to make you… part of this.”

She takes down the powdered formula and sets it on the counter, pausing. The puppies swirl around her feet with soft whines—_mommy mommy mommy_—it rings in Ben’s ears and clouds his rational human brain.

He grimaces, rubbing his forehead. “It’s a big secret to keep. I’m sure my mother told you.”

“She said you imprinted on me.”

Rey looks over her shoulder, kind of curious but nervous, and his heart races. Fuck. How can he possibly explain it to a human? She’s going to think he’s kidnapping her or he’s going to do something terrible. Already did. But _more _terrible, like knocking her up with puppies instead of babies.

But I wouldn’t be the worst outcome in the world, would it? She’s receptive. Even if she isn’t, after a couple more days in isolation with him, she’ll come around to it.

“Yeah,” he grits out, “it’s uh—it’s no big deal. I’m not gonna bite you or anything.”

“Do you usually?”

“No, no, I’ve never bitten anyone. And uh… you only transform if you’ve got wolf blood.” Or a werewolf imprints on you. “And it has to be during a full moon. Mating cycle.”

Her cheeks turn pink. “Oh.” Her gaze wanders to the puppies and she sets to getting the formula ready like she needs the distraction.

Ben’s thoughts keep swirling, meandering off to the way she tasted and the way her thighs trembled on his shoulders. He coughs and tries to think about fishing and flaying and other things that don’t make his blood burn.

“She said you might not let me leave.”

Rey is shaking up the formula now, back turned to him. The puppies whimper and paw at her long legs and she gently shushes them.

Ben barks an awkward laugh. “Of course I will. You can go whenever you want—I’ll take you home right now.” His skin crawls. “It’s fine with me.”

She nods and pours the formula into the bottle but doesn’t say anything. That’s nuts. Of course he’ll let her leave; he’s offered about a thousand times so far. He feels bad. He really does. Rey can go home whenever she wants and he won’t be the least bit upset about it.

She sits on the floor and takes her time feeding each puppy while the others sit and whine, and a flush of pleasure scatters Ben’s thoughts again. What a good mother. So maternal. Leia is about as maternal as a wet noodle, but it seems to come naturally to Rey, and it would be such a waste if she left here without giving him at least _one _pup.

Just one. He just wants one. She can give him one before she leaves.

Ben turns away stiffly, agitated. Getting harder to think straight. He doesn’t want to hurt her but there’s no way he’ll let her go, either. Where does she have to go, anyway? Her apartment? She said she’s lonely and she feels like she belongs here. It’s springtime. What if someone else takes advantage?

“Were you born this way?”

He glances down. She’s cradling Muk in the crook of her arm and he’s limply pawing at the bottle, eyes hooded.

“It runs in my family,” Ben says, nodding and trying not to stare.

“Oh. That’s kind of cool.” She smiles. “There are some days I wish I could turn into a giant wolf.”

“It’s not as fun as you’d think. Burns. Makes it hard to think straight. I’d run off for weeks at a time when I was a teenager.”

“Where did you go?” she asks.

Nowhere. Ran around the fucking woods like a wild animal ripping open rabbits and chasing females in heat who would kick his ass when he got too close. Then the spell would break—he’d hear Leia or Anakin call, and limp back home with his tail between his legs, rejected by the only thing that’s ever made sense, unwelcome in both worlds.

This is the only place he’s felt like he really belongs and Ben doesn’t think he’s willing to give it up. What the fuck is he going to do when she leaves?

“Did dumb shit,” he mutters.

“You didn’t like…” Rey hesitates as she sets Muk aside and he stumbles, yawning and licking his chops. “_Do _anything with the girl wolves. Right?”

He laughs uncomfortably. “No—no. Wolves don’t really like me.”

“Why not? Aren’t you one of them?”

“Kind of. It’s hard to explain.”

Rey nods and picks up Balto next. Muk wanders out to Ben in search of a place to nap and digest, and he scoops him up and brings him to the den in the closet. He curls up in the corner and promptly passes out.

Soon all the puppies are fed and night has fallen again. Ben methodically settles them in the closet and stands there to watch them for a minute with Rey standing beside him, arms crossed. Aleu is asleep with her mouth open, splayed out on her back. It’s good. They’re happy and healthy.

He casts a sideways glance at Rey, gaze wandering down her face to her throat. She’s so beautiful. He’ll do whatever it takes to make sure she’s happy and healthy, too.

She looks down at the floor. “Does this count as bestiality?”

“Uh…” Ben blinks and shrugs helplessly when she looks up. “…No?”

She nods and averts her eyes again. No—it doesn’t. He’s fully aware of who she is human or wolf, even if things get blurry and overwhelming when he’s the latter. He’s never purely an animal. Usually. Well, not _never_, but most of the time he isn’t.

Rey shrugs. “I liked the stuff we did, so… just making sure.”

“Me too.”

They fall silent but Ben is relieved. Good.

She ambles by him a minute later, then backtracks and kisses him on the cheek. Ben grabs her arm before she can move away and yanks her back to kiss her lips like he’s wanted to all day. Shouldn’t, but—he shouldn’t be fooling around with humans in wolf form, either.

Rey lets herself be pulled in to him and Ben deepens the kiss. He wraps an arm around her middle, cock already getting hard against her belly, and she leans on her tiptoes, fingers grasping the front of his shirt. She smells nice. Tastes nice. He could bend her over the bed right now and take her.

Soft whimpers vaguely distract him from his fantasies but pull Rey away. Ben instinctively snags her wrist before she gets too far, blood already pumping away from his useless brain to his second head, but he quickly lets go when she shoots him a nervous glance. Whoops. Can’t go dragging her around the place.

He heaves a breath and gestures to the door. “Uh—I’m gonna go get some fresh air.”

Rey nods, quiet, and he nods before rushing for the door. Might as well let off some steam running around for half the night. He can’t take her away from her babies.

Ben peels off his clothes once he’s outside and lets the transformation raze through him. This time he’s all wolf, and circles in confusion for a couple minute, agitated without his mate and briefly forgetting why he left her. They can always make more puppies. It’s breeding season. Why is he all the way out here? Water? Food?

He shakes his huge head, stumbling towards the woods. Food. She must be hungry. At this size he can take out a caribou on his own. He should. She needs a full belly before he breeds her.

Ben lopes off into the woods. Caribou. Caribou. Caribou. Breeding. Breeding. Breeding.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ben bangs rey and he’s in werewolf form—it’s consensual but she’s 17 and he’s a werewolf so proceed w caution
> 
> also please see my carrd in my profile for info about sneak peeks and deleted content! :)

Hunting is simple enough when the animal brain takes control, and Ben lets it lead him to his quarry; doesn’t resist the gnawing hunger that leads him to tackle the enormous caribou to the ground. It happens in a flash of blood and heat. Fangs through skin and sinew and bone, and he must carry home his kill to his mate.

The single-mindedness in being a wolf is the best part: always knowing there are only three things that matter and nothing else, unencumbered by human morals and anxieties. All he has to do is eat, breed, and sleep. Nothing else matters; nothing else _exists_. Anakin knew the animal form was the key to true freedom, even if others didn’t understand.

And everything converges into one person and one place, and it’s the only place Ben ever wants to be.

He rushes home with his kill and it’s nearing nightfall when he sees the lights in the windows. He drops the caribou carcass in the grass beside the front steps and shapeshifts just as Rey comes outside. It’s easier to tear apart the limbs if he has something resembling hands. Has to be cooked—Rey can’t eat raw meat.

She’s wearing an old high school hoodie of his and it hangs halfway down her thighs. Ben pauses, studying her with his paws on the broad side of the caribou’s stomach. Moths flutter around her head.

“Oh,” she says. Her eyes are wide and she’s smiling but it’s tight. “That’s a… caribou.”

He cocks his head. She nods, then mumbles and disappears back inside the house.

Ben breaks down the carcass and carries what he can to the meat freezer in the garage. He’s hungry and wired from the hunt and eats most of the organs raw, sitting off to the side of the house and watching through the windows to see if Rey is moving around. She should be asleep. Maybe she’s hungry.

He chews the liver, blood running down his jaw. The heart has good nutrients but something tells him Rey won’t be willing to eat heart meat.

After he’s through he rinses off with the hose and a lot of irritated growling. Crickets chirp in the bushes and the porch groans under Ben’s weight as he climbs on all fours to the front door, talons clicking on the handle when he tries to turn it. Is Rey awake? She should be asleep. Maybe she’s hungry.

The door creaks open. Ben sticks his head inside, scanning the quiet darkness before slipping in and closing it behind him. He keeps to all fours and makes his way through the cramped living room and down the hall to the bedroom, thoughts gently winding into the abhorrent. He brought her food and gave her a safe place to sleep—now it’s time, even if she protests. It’s time.

Rey is asleep on her side facing the window. She stirs when Ben clicks into the bedroom, lifting her head and just staring as he stares at her.

She sits up. The sheet falls away and he sees she’s already naked, and he blinks, tilting his head.

Ben crawls closer and her throat visibly bobs. She doesn’t say anything as he comes up to the edge of the bed and grasps her ankle, yanking her to him so her knees hang off. He pauses until she nods, then buries his snout between her thighs, making her gasp and squirm and grab the thick fur around his neck.

He shifts his shoulders to bring her calves over them and licks carefully along her slit. Rey takes quick shallow breaths but tries to keep quiet—he can tell, through he’s not concerned about the puppies hearing. They’re going to breed one day, too. It’s very _human _to be embarrassed by sex.

He grasps her hips in his paws, maybe nicking her skin, but she’s pulling his fur and rhythmically rolling her hips, thighs trembling, so he figures she doesn’t care. His head swims, cock twitching. She tastes good; sweet and musky and feminine, and he struggles closer until his dick pushed against the edge of the bed, providing a little friction.

But Ben is too impatient, and he roughly turns her over on her stomach before she climaxes. He knows he should wait but his brain is hot and his skin is hot and he can’t bear another minute of waiting. He buries his snout in her hair, huffing and blindly humping her because he can’t use his paws to angle his cock the right way.

Rey arches her hips. “Should I—should I get on the floor? Or—ah!”

The sensitive head of his cock meets warm wetness and Ben eagerly pushes. Rey sucks in a sharp breath and stiffens underneath him but doesn’t stop him or protest, and he arches over her, one paw on the bed and the other holding her hip to keep her in place. Dimples in her lower back deepen as she strains to meet him, hands clenching the sheets. It’s lewd as fuck watching his red cock slowly sheathing inside her and her soft ass pushing against his fur.

It’s tight. Hot. Overwhelming. Rey moans as he roughly fucks her, growling and paying little attention to the blood where his talons pricked her skin. It flickers through his head that she’s too small and every time he bumps the sensitive end of her passage she whimpers, weakly rolling her hips. But he doesn’t really care.

“Ben,” she breathes. Her voice wavers. “Can—can you slow down?”

_No_. He chuffs, eyes rolling back from the sheer effort of controlling himself. He doesn’t want to hurt her but it feels so fucking _good_ and he’s halfway to his knot; he can just fucking _feel_ it.

His gaze wanders down her spine to her ass. She’s shaking as he gently draws out of her, marveling at his cock glistening from her and thin steaks of blood mixed in. His eyes roll again and he whimpers, nuzzling her neck and piling back in hot inch by inch. Can’t do it. Can’t do it.

“I don’t think werewolf condoms are a thing,” she whispers, laughing shakily. She moans and his cock twitches. “Are you gonna… finish in me?”

Ben nods and licks her jaw, because that’s non-negotiable, but Rey just nods and swallows. Hopefully she understands. Seems like she does.

“Okay.” She nods again and he licks her cheek. “Okay. That’s okay.”

His chest rumbles. Good girl. What a good mate. She’s going to look so beautiful tied up on him—and it will be soon. His knot is beginning to swell and ever thrust tightens him up and brings him closer to the edge. She’ll be okay. She can take it.

Rey whimpers and he licks her neck to comfort her, panting now. She’s so fucking _tight _and he loves her so much that he might explode—

“Ben—!” She gasps, and he suddenly feels her quivering around his cock, voice lilting into a whine. “Ben, I’m gonna—”

He can’t resist seizing her entire neck in his jaw as she comes, squirming and fucking herself on his length. But he doesn’t bite down, even when his knot pops, even when he’s coming inside her and she’s _taking it_, languid and pliant underneath him. She tightens around him the way he’s been dreaming of and all he can do is grunt, hips jerking, eyes rolling. Holy _shit_.

A wave of dizziness comes over Ben and he releases her neck, but he spills inside her again, licking his jaw to keep from drooling on her back. He admires her naked back, eyes hooded, and gives a gentle tug to test the knot. Firm. Good. Perfect.

“It’s stuck,” Rey croaks. Her breathing comes faster. “Is it supposed to b-be like that?”

He pulls them up on the bed, one arm under her belly, and Rey groans when the knot tugs again. Ben settles behind his mate, trying to cover her with his much bigger body, purring and licking her jaw. She clings to his furry forearm and he wags his tail a bit, nudging her chin so he can bury his snout underneath.

He squeezes until she gasps and squirms on his knot, then she keeps squirming, making soft little sounds that get him hard all over again. He sets a paw on her flat belly and closes his eyes, just listening to her panting and smelling her skin. Good girl.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cliffhanger x100

When Ben wakes up, he’s still a werewolf.

Not ideal. Not ideal at all—and he’s alone in bed without his Rey, who probably ran for the hills when the knot loosened enough. He sits up, taking great deep breaths to pick up her scent, heart racing. She shouldn’t be out of bed.

He climbs to the floor and checks the closet for the puppies. Gone. Where are they?

“Hey—_Aleu_!”

His ears perk at the sound of his mate’s voice. Ben hurries down the hall into the living room and realizes they’re all outside in the morning sunshine.

One puppy howls and Rey claps and laughs. His ears swivel to listen, and though part of his human brain is anxious about seeing her after their first time having sex, wolf brain is more concerned with hiding her in the bedroom where she belongs.

Wolf brain wins, like it always does lately. Ben gingerly opens his front door and emerges on the porch, squinting in the sunshine.

The puppies are racing around the yard fetching sticks and hurtling back to Rey with them. Some are too big—Aleu is tilting over but refuses to drop her catch, black tail wagging so fast it’s a blur. Balto trots by her with two sticks in his mouth and she growls.

Rey has her hair up in a bun and is wearing one of Ben’s t-shirts again. She claps when Muk reaches her and crouches to wrestle him for his stick before she throws it toward the tree line. Does she _want _their puppies to be kidnapped again? Any wolf could be waiting to sink his teeth into a wriggling, distractible puppy playing with its mother.

Ben slinks down the porch, irritated. All four puppies stop what they’re doing and excitedly run up to greet him, while Rey tugs out her ponytail. She passes a hand through her hair and smiles, faintly.

“Sorry,” she says. “They needed to run around.”

He glares, puppies clambering up his legs and arms, and Rey turns red.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, lowering her gaze. She nudges a rock with her shoe.

Ben huffs, gathering the puppies in a squirming mass to his chest. He jerks his head for her to go first and is pleased when she complies, avoiding his eyes. Good. She should know better. She could’ve woken him up so he could keep an eye on things; make sure there wasn’t an intruder.

Back inside he brings the puppies to their nest in the closet, curling his lip when they try to follow him out. They whimper and go lie down—they _need _a nap—and Ben’s thoughts quickly shift to his mate. Did she eat? Drink? Bathe? She needs those three things before he attempts breeding her again and he’s annoyed that she left the den at all. His skin itches with want but now he has to _wait_—

Ben gets to the bedroom door when ice crawls up his legs. He blinks, catching his weight on the wall with a paw, staggering a step. Human brain is violently uncomfortable and resistant and before he can try to control his softer impulses, he’s lying on the floor, transformed into a man.

He gasps, eyes rolling as the werewolf grudgingly recedes; not nearly as far as it should. Trembling, Ben pushes up on his hands and tries not to let his racing thoughts get the best of him. Need to shower… get clothes. Be presentable before Rey sees him buck fucking naked and quivering on the floor.

Ben stumbles to his dresser and manages to pick out pants and a shirt before a wave of dizziness brings him to the floor. He catches his breath and checks to make sure Rey isn’t looking down the hall before he crawls to the bathroom on all fours. Fucked a teenage girl—_knotted _her. Came inside her. Why the fuck hasn’t she run away?

Imprinting, that’s why. He starts the shower and gets up to brush his teeth, awash with guilt and anxiety. It’s fucked up. It’s like she’s hypnotized. He’s gotta tell her after he’s cleaned up and presentable. He’ll bring her home and apologize and try to forget about it.

Ben’s hands shake while he scrubs the caribou out of his mouth and his skin is numb to the hot water. Anakin said it could happen, but he’s been too selfish and wrapped up in it to care. Rey likes it. Likes him. Likes their puppies. And she felt so _fucking good_ and didn’t resist him for a second. Didn’t want to.

“Ben? Did you transform?”

He blinks, gaze snapping up. She’s at the door, knocking lightly. It makes his heart race.

“Uh… yeah,” he replies. Clears his throat. “Sorry. Just cleaning up.”

“Oh, yeah. That’s okay.” She pauses. “Is it okay if I take the puppies out again? They’re really bored.”

Ben nods even though she can’t see him. What the fuck was he thinking dragging them all inside? They’re not his _prisoners_.

“Sure,” he croaks.

“Great, then… we will be… outside.”

“Cool. Great.”

Footsteps move away followed by the quick patter of puppy feet. Ben rubs his face and grits his teeth. Fucking moron. What the fuck is he going to say to her? Something stupid. Fucking moron.

He dries off after his shower and gets dressed. Rey is back out playing with the puppies so Ben pours himself a cup of coffee and eats cereal instead of immediately going out to talk to her like he should. _Sorry I knotted you. Do you need to go to the emergency room? Need Plan B?_

Ben bounces his leg, staring at the door. He should bring her to the drug store for Plan B. Should. Will. Maybe, after thinking about it stops making him unreasonably angry. It’s the right thing to do. She’s seventeen and really smart, but she’s so good with their babies, and he can practically see her curled up in the closet nursing a squirming pile of newborns.

He shakes his head, hurriedly eating his cereal. Nope. No. No. Stop—stop doing that—

His hand begins transforming out of nowhere, prickling as long human fingers erupt with fur. Ben swears and desperately waves his hand until the transformation halts and reverts.

The door opens. Rey peeks in and smiles and he barely manages to smile back.

“Coming?” she asks.

“Yeah, yeah.” Ben nods and abandons his second cup of coffee and third bowl of cereal. “They doing okay?”

“They all had bottles this morning, but I think Balto wants real meat or something?” She frowns and slips out onto the porch as Ben approaches. “I’m not sure. He’s been biting a lot more.”

Is she going to talk about him herding her into the cabin? Isn’t she mad?

Ben follows her out and closes the door, watching her from the corner of his eye. No—she isn’t. This part is irreversible. Now she’s never going to leave. It’s the same weird magical shit that lets him transform into a fucking werewolf, and now it’s dragging her in.

Rey stands beside him, clapping when Aleu brings her a stick. She throws it. Aleu races off through the damp grass and it makes Ben rock on the balls of his feet so he doesn’t lose sight of her.

Say something. Say something. Apologize.

“You… okay?” he asks awkwardly.

Rey shrugs, looking down at her feet.

“Yeah. Wasn’t expecting the last part but I’m not upset or anything. I liked it.”

Fear fades somewhat. Good. He really doesn’t want to hurt her, or keep having stilted conversations every time they fool around. Time to be straightforward.

“I’m gonna go to the drug store and get some… stuff,” Ben says. He glances down and finds her looking at him and anxiety wanders up his throat. “So you don’t get pregnant.”

“Yeah—I’m on birth control but it’s back at my apartment. Kinda forgot it.”

“Want me to bring you by so you can get it? Maybe some other stuff?”

“It’s okay, I’ll ask Finn to drop it off.”

Ben’s eyelid twitches.

“Oh. Okay.” He smiles. “That’s fine.”

Finn intruding on his territory is… _annoying_, but Rey leaving the premises is also _annoying_. At least he has better control over the prior.

She searches Ben’s face for another minute and laughs, shaking her head. Luk brings her a new stick for her to throw, then he’s off, tumbling over his sister in his head long run.

“I can’t believe we did that,” Rey says. She bites her cheek, watching the puppies wrestle. “I mean, I’ve never… done that at all, and you were…”

“I didn’t hurt you?”

“No. Just sore.”

Ben breathes a sigh of relief. Thank god.

“I’ll use condoms,” he says quickly. “And I’ll pull out next time. If you want to again. We don’t have to.”

“I liked it the way it was.”

His blood feels hot. She’s not looking at him but is gazing at their puppies and the way sun hits her hair makes it glow. She’s beautiful from whatever angle but there’s something else about her that makes his insides melt. Imprinting. That’s what.

He hardly dares to say it, like she doesn’t know the obvious. “You might get pregnant.”

“I know.”

Ben’s skin burns. He flexes his hands.

“But you’re going to Cornell.”

Rey shrugs and sidles closer to him. He wraps an arm around her middle as gently as he can, afraid she’ll run if he moves too fast.

“I could just stay here,” she mumbles.

Everything is falling exactly into place but it’s a hollow victory. If grandpa was right, the bond between them is manipulating Rey’s choice. It doesn’t make sense for her to stay here. It didn’t make sense for her to do _anything _she’s done over the last few weeks, but it’s been pulling to her, and now it has her.

Ben hugs her to his side and watches their puppies rolling around in the grass, chest tight. He has the only thing he’s ever wanted, and he has to let her go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> malevolentreverie.carrd.co


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feared posting this chapter for a long time but reminder this will have a HEA 😅 i don’t like having young women in non-darkfics give up everything to be w a man without ever experiencing the world, so it’s important to me that Rey gets some clarity apart from Ben. likewise, i think it’s important for Ben to let her go if they’re ever going to have a “normal” relationship

Rey stays behind to watch the puppies and Ben ventures out to the drug store alone. It’s not ideal leaving them home but they could jump out of the truck and run off. Get hurt. They’re safer at home.

He puts on a baseball cap before he goes in—it’ll be real fucking embarrassing if someone sees him, even if it’s the right thing to do. Rey can’t get pregnant. It’s not fair to let her get pregnant, and if she can’t think clearly, he has to do it.

He strides down the aisles to the section in the back. It’s all full of condoms and lube and cock rings and he rubs the back of his neck, face heating up. He can’t let her get pregnant, but will any of these condoms fit his dick? Probably not.

His gaze traces the shelves to a box in a clear case: _MyWay. _Seems like a bad name for emergency contraception. Selfish-sounding.

He stares at it, skin prickling. Rey liked him coming inside her; she said she wanted to stay. So what if she does? She’s emancipated; been on her own for a long time. It’s not like she doesn’t know what she’s doing.

He misses her already. How’s he going to go back to work and leave her alone all day? Out of the question when she gets pregnant. Can’t leave his mate alone and risk not being there when she whelps.

Soft music plays overhead. Ben stares at the white and pink box, and the longer he stares, the more angry he gets.

It’s not right, letting her get rid of their puppies. Why would he let her do something like that? What does that say about him as a wolf and as a provider, if his mate is so uneasy that she doesn’t _want _to have his pups? He’s doing something wrong. Something isn’t right in the home—he needs to figure it out.

“Sir?”

Ben blinks, overpowering instinct fading. He finds a short woman watching him from the end of the aisle.

She snaps her gum. “Did you need help?”

“Uh…” He shakes his head, shrugging. “No, I’m fine. Thanks.”

“Need a license for the Plan B—just so you know.”

He nods, and when she turns the corner Ben snatches the box off the shelf before he has another second to think about it. His fingers are stiff and his chest hurt but he grabs a box of condoms, too.

At the checkout he gets Rey chocolate and buys a pack of cigarettes. His hands tremble when he pays.

This is the right thing to do. She’s not his property. She’s not his property. She’s _not _his property. L

An unfamiliar car is parked in the driveway when Ben gets home. He tries to keep a lid on his temper, figuring it’s probably Finn stopping by to see Rey and make sure she’s still alive. Rey can have friends. She’s not his property.

His door creaks when he hops out. No puppies come running to meet him, and Ben narrows his eyes at the gray Corolla as he passes by it.

Barking greets him when he opens the front door. It smells off, like another man, and Aleu in particular has an odd scent to her. She yaps and paws at his calf until he scoops her up, tossing the CVS bag on the coffee table. Wolves aren’t generous with their offspring like humans are. No one should touch them except himself and their mother.

“Rey?” he calls roughly.

He’s out in the kitchen and the front door opens again. Rey comes inside with Finn but she turns and shakes her head, so he steps out onto the porch. Good. He shouldn’t be here.

She looks nice: green dress and sandals, but he prefers her in his clothes. Ben kisses Aleu before he sets her down.

“I got some things,” he says.

Rey nods, picking through the bag for the Plan B. She’s avoiding his eyes. It doesn’t seem submissive or apologetic—seems nervous.

He watches her open the box and take the pill dry. It’s done, then, even though it makes his stomach drop.

Ben turns away to distract himself washing dishes, ignoring the burning tears in his eyes. He pushes open the window over the sink and the puppies come crowding around his ankles. They watch him, heads tilted. They’ll all need baths. They smell like shit.

“Thank you,” Rey says.

He shrugs. It’s fine. It’s what’s best for her.

Water gushes into the drain. It’s the only sound for an awkward long minute, one that twists Ben’s heart up into his throat. He keeps washing.

“I think I should go home.”

His tongue rolls inside his cheek, and even though he knows it’s for the best it still feels like a cold knife through his gut. Ben manages a stiff nod. She should go home. She needs to go to college—needs space to grow up and become an adult. Learn, meet people. Can’t do that if he knocks her up.

This is fucking Finn’s fault. He came here and put ideas in her head; she was ready and willing a few hours ago. Shouldn’t have let her have visitors. Should’ve hidden her away somewhere warm and isolated and put a baby in her.

“Okay,” Ben replies tersely.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t have to be sorry.” He arches a shoulder to wipe the corner of his eye. “You’ve got school to get ready for.”

Rey sniffles. He can’t bear to turn around and look at her. Pretty sure he won’t let her go.

“I don’t know what came over me,” she croaks. “I don’t regret any of it but… I can’t give up school. I worked really hard to get in.”

“I know. You should go.”

“I’m really sorry, Ben. I really like you, but there’s a lot more I want to see and do. It’s not that I don’t like you, or what you are. It’s really not.”

“It’s okay,” he replies, wooden.

It is. It’s not like she’s leaving for no reason and it’s not fair to expect her to want to settle down at seventeen. Even though it hurts and he can’t bear the thought of being without her, it’s not fair to keep her.

But he has to keep himself preoccupied so he doesn’t do just that. Can’t look. Can’t say much. If he doesn’t keep a tight lid on himself he’s going to do something stupid, and he’s going to regret it forever. Wolf instincts are strong.

Rey takes a couple ragged breaths like she’s holding back tears. “I don’t want to leave. I really don’t. And I don’t regret anything.”

Ben finishes the few dishes in the sink and nods. This would be easier if she would just leave.

“Maybe you can visit me? At school?”

“Maybe,” Ben replies.

They’re quiet for a long minute. He shuts off the water and leans his hands on the edge of the sink, staring out the window. Throat hurts. Feels like he’s being strangled. He barely notices the puppies whimpering at his feet, sensing his pain.

Truth be told, if he sees her again he probably won’t let her go. Ben watches the pine trees swaying lightly in the breeze while Rey gets the rest of her stuff behind him. Not a good idea to see her, unless she intends on making things permanent.

Which she doesn’t—because she’s seventeen. She shouldn’t feel bad about wanting more than getting pregnant with werewolf puppies.

He remains still when she sidles up to kiss his cheek and hug him around his waist. She crouches to hug and kiss their puppies and Ben’s eye twitches. Don’t stop her. She’s not your property. You already expected too much.

“I’ll text you,” Rey says softly.

He nods once, stiff. She kisses him again, lingering, maybe hoping he’s going to kiss her back. Can’t.

The front door opens and shuts. Ben gazes at the old pines clustered in the forest beyond the fringes of his property, and thinks maybe he’d like to kill something.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got this done so u guys didn’t have a horrible cliffhanger LOL also thank to all the people who leave positive, encouraging comments, even when the fic doesn’t go in the direction they hoped 😊

“Hey Rey, want to come to the beach?”

Laughter floats down the hallway. Celebration for the end of finals is already starting but Rey doesn’t have much interest in going out. One of those nights.

She glances up from her pensive gazing out the bedroom window and smiles at her roommate, Bazine, already in her white bikini carrying a White Claw. Baz usually gets her out of the dorm when she gets in these moods, but… not tonight.

“I’m a little tired,” Rey says. She rests her chin on her knees, letting it drape to the side. “Maybe tomorrow.”

“Aw… okay.” Bazine taps her new pink manicure on the edge of the door. “Text me, okay?”

“Sure.”

The door clicks shut and voices murmur outside. The funks Rey sometimes slips into are nothing new, but lately they’ve been getting worse. Calling her.

She watches the sun sinking below the horizon, toes curling on her flower-print duvet. Soon the dorms will be quiet enough for her to hear the faint sound of him: sometimes it’s laughter, or crying; more often it’s been snarls.

But she can’t just pack up and leave to check on him. It’s his fault for never answering her texts or calls; for never trying to find a time over the last six years where they could link up again. All she has left is a flannel she stole, hoping maybe it would spark conversation. _Did you steal my shirt?_

A salty breeze brushes Rey’s hair back from her forehead and she closes her eyes. Too hot to wear a flannel and she’s paying for it dearly with buckets of sweat, but it’s the only part of him she has now. Can’t just pack up and leave with two more years of school left to go. Too expensive, and she didn’t have much money saved until this year.

She stares at the ocean glittering in the distance. Maybe she can take this summer to catch up with her old friends. It might be good for her.

—•—

Flying from St. Kitts to Alaska is not easy _or _cheap.

By the time Rey lands she realizes she’s fucked without the generous offer of lodging and meals from Rose. It’s enough to let her stay for a month and catch up with everyone: like Finn, who ended up marrying Poe Dameron, and Rose’s new boyfriend, Hux.

Things have changed, like they always do. But as they drive home from the airport and Rey peers out her window at the passing terrain, she figures the land generally stays the same.

“We’re having pot roast tonight—Hux is a great cook.”

Rose hasn’t stopped beaming since picking Rey up. It’s great to see her and she looks great: hair up in a ponytail, nice new jewelry, pressed pink sun dress. Her baby bump is faintly visible and one of her other kids is passed out in a car seat in the back. Always figured she’d marry Finn.

Rey looks back at the little redhead, Olivia, and smiles. Looks just like Hux, from what she’s seen in the pictures of him holding their kids.

“Did you ever go to school?” Rey asks.

“I met Hux…” Rose clicks her tongue, frowning. “A few months after you left? He was finishing up school in Massachusetts and here on vacation. We kind of fell in love and I’ve just been raising the kids ever since.” She glances at Olivia in the rearview and lowers her voice. “I got pregnant with Paige after a month or two. Whoops.”

They laugh. Rey casts one more glance at Olivia before she turns around to face forward.

It’s about an hour to Rose’s cabin in the woods, one much more modern than the usual places in the area. It has soaring glasses windows and arched roofs, melded with the towering trees and ringed by a small creek. It’s beautiful. Very unique.

Hux steps out onto the porch with their first kid, Paige, sitting on his hip. He lets her down and she comes racing over to say hello: she talks fast and looks more like Rose. She’s five.

“You can stay in my room!” Paige chatters. She pushes her black hair back from her face, breathless. “Daddy said you’re an animal doctor.”

Rey shrugs, then shoos away Rose when she tries to lug a suitcase from the trunk of her Lexus. Absolutely not. She’s about to pop.

“Almost,” Rey says, laughing a little. “What do you want to be when you grow up, Paige?”

“A bagger at Safeway!”

She’s so excited when she says it that Rey can’t quite believe it. Rose puts a hand on top of Paige’s head and heaves a sigh, sweeping down to pat her shoulder. It’s so effortlessly maternal and gentle—this isn’t the girl she grew up with in Kansas and moved to Alaska with. Things change. People change.

“Aim high, kid,” Rose says. She plants a kiss to the top of Paige’s head and brightens when Hux ambles up. “Well hello. Didn’t think you’d come by.”

Hux is tall and lanky and very red-headed. He’s wearing a T-shirt and shorts; very much a dad outfit. Rose says he’s ‘intense’. Kind of nerdy. He’s pale.

He grabs a suitcase by the handle and kisses Rose’s cheek. “I’m not _entirely _unsociable, dear.” He offers a hand, long fingers outstretched. “Nice to meet you, Rey. I’ve heard a lot.”

“All good things,” Rose adds.

Rey raises an eyebrow and shakes his hand. Firm grip. He’s a very coiffed guy.

“Did you tell him how good I am at running your boyfriends off?”

“Oh my god, _yes_.” Rose bursts out laughing as Hux settles his arm around her shoulders. “Remember Jack? That was the last summer you were home—he was the fucking worst.”

They reminisce as they head inside, and Rey thinks it’s nice to be home; nice to reconnect. She’s always felt that pull since leaving—not that she regrets Cornell or Ross for an instant. Graduated summa from an Ivy League school and got into a vet school on her first application. No waitlist. Ocean view. That made it easy to leave Cornell behind.

But there’s always been something drawing her back home to Alaska. Or someone. He seems like a dream most days.

Rose leads her upstairs to the guest room, Olivia and Paige following close behind. It’s cool inside, bright from all the windows even though so little sun filters through the trees. Her bedroom has beachy decorations, like shells and a painting of a sailboat. Blue bedspread. It feels like a hotel.

Rose rubs Olivia’s back. “Can you two go play outside and give mom some time with Rey?”

“…Okay,” Paige says glumly. She dances around a little. “Can you tell me more about being an animal doctor later, please? Miss Rey?”

“Sure can.” Rey smiles and thanks Hux dropping off another suitcase. “I got to help take care of sick sea turtles last summer. I’ll tell you all about it later.”

The girls gasp in unison, hopping up and down. She’ll skip telling them about the ones that died from eating plastic. Not kid-friendly.

Hux takes the girls outside. Rey sits on the edge of the bed with Rose and wraps an arm around her shoulders. It’s good to see her again. Some time away from the island and school and work will be good. She and Rose and Finn fell out of touch over the years: obviously Rose has been _really _busy.

“So…” Rey hugs her closer. “Finn married Poe, huh?”

“_Yup_.” Rose straightens and rolls her eyes. “Poe runs the fish and game service now after Amilyn retired and Finn usually keeps him from doing stupid shit. A couple years ago he pretty much ran the wolves out of the area back into Denali. Big to-do.”

“Huh.”

“Most of the wardens resigned: Ben, Mitaka—”

“Ben?”

Rose raises her eyebrows, smirking, and Rey hurried to explain away why she cares about Ben quitting his job. He loved it. He was good with the wolves.

Rose shrugs. “He still lives in the same place if you want to go see him. Kind of a mountain man now.”

“No, it’s okay. Just wondering.”

“Are you seeing anyone? Have you?”

Rey laughs. “No, I’m way too busy with school and stuff to be honest.” And she’s never wanted to.

“Aw…” Rose hugs her, sighing. “I’m so glad you went. _And _you’re almost done!”

Yep, sure is. Two more years and she’s a DVM. Less than two years if she takes classes during the summer semester next year.

They head downstairs to check on dinner and chat about what else they’ve been missing over the past few years. Rey tried so hard to disconnect from home that she realizes she’s let a lot of loose ends fall through the cracks.

—•—

The first couple days are quiet and relaxing. Rey spends most of her time playing with the kids and sipping wine while Rose sips white grape juice. Hux works a very tight 9-5 and never comes home pissed off or frustrated like Rey’s foster parents used to. He’s usually eager to cook and when he isn’t, Rose always has a back up.

Soulmates, maybe. Rey watches them kiss from the corner of her eye, legs up on the porch railing. She has a soulmate but he probably hates her.

It takes a week before she summons the courage to go see Ben. Even thinking his name is painful, but she can’t keep pretending what happened _didn’t _happen. How is he? How are the puppies: Muk, Luk, Balto, and Aleu? They must be grown up now and on their own. Maybe they have their own puppies.

On a Saturday afternoon Rey lets Rose know she’s going for a walk through the woods. Trail systems connect the property to the isolated spot where Ben lives, and she’d rather go alone.

“Bring some bear mace!” Rose calls. She’s busy cooking and Olivia is having a meltdown about the iPad being taken away. “Out in the garage—combination to the safe is seven nine eight!”

“It’s okay, I’ll be fine! I’ll text you.”

Showing up with bear mace might give the wrong impression.

It’s a sunny, cool summer afternoon, and Rey heads out in her new Nikes and yoga pants. She uses the map borrowed from Hux’s study to navigate along the winding deer paths and poorly-maintained human paths, overgrown with ferns and upturned roots. Running on the beach has her in _prime _shape for this kind of hiking.

And the air is easier to breathe here, not heavy with humidity and salty ocean. Rey pauses once or twice to take a deep breath of it, eyes closed and hands on her hips. Smells like pine and fresh water and dirt. Petrichor, that soft smell after it rains.

She’s deep into the forest now. Trees grow in thick thorny tangles and silence hangs like a blanket. Not a sound. It’s peaceful.

A stick snaps.

Rey whips around at the sound, hoping for a second that it’s Ben—but her heart falls through her stomach.

Through a cluster of trees she sees the faint outline of a grizzly bear’s massive head, tilted slightly so he can watch her. He can’t be more than fifty feet away, and from what she can see he’s _big_.

All kinds of survival tactics race through her head. Play dead. Climb a tree. Cover the back of your neck, because the first thing he’ll do is go for that spot. Maybe she shouldn’t move at all. Didn’t they say that on _Alone_?

But the bear chuffs and begins his descent, and all of the TV shows she’s watched fall out of her brain. Her heart pounds, dread swelling in her gut. Oh fuck.

He crushes the dense underbrush with his gigantic paws, head swinging from side to side, breaths coming quicker and deeper. Rey stares in terror as he comes to a stop not fifteen feet away and takes some rough, curious snorts. Huge. Huge. His paws are _huge_. If he swats her he’ll take her head off.

The bear makes an agitated snort and rears up on his hind legs, towering over her—and he _roars_, black gums flapping and spittle flying out, and Rey realizes she’s about to become a statistic. It echoes off the old trees and gets swallowed up in the leaves and she can’t even bring herself to scream.

Then—tugging.

Something slams hard into the ground behind her and a hard breeze buffets her forward, knocking her to the twisted roots. She smacks her head off a rock, spinning the world into a haze of green and black that’s only broken by a much louder, deeper roar. It vibrates in her bones; penetrates down to the marrow, and Rey manages to look up.

Two long black legs the width of small tree trunks straddle her, leading up to a furry chest and massive mane. She can’t see his face well but he snarls at the bear and she catches the curl of his lip; feels the same relief and excitement she did six years ago. It’s him. How did he find her?

The bear bellows again and drops to all fours. Ben pushes off the ground and Rey twists just in time to see him tackle the bear into the underbrush. It’s not really a fair fight: Ben is at least twice its size. They roll into the trees snarling and snapping and Rey slowly pushes herself upright, hardly daring to breathe.

Whimpers come from nearby. Rey peels her eyes away from the fight and sees two familiar wolves watching her from the trees: Muk and Luk, judging by their gray and white pelts. Aleu was black and Balto had tinges of black along his face and back.

They’re full grown now, big heads bowed and tails wagging, no longer the tiny puppies she held in her arms and fed with a bottle. She stares and gets a pang in her chest for all the things she missed, then hears an agonized roar from either Ben or the bear.

The bear is running off. Ben plants his feet and _roars _after it, dripping blood from his right shoulder. It’s sprayed on tree trunks and bushes like a flung paintbrush; the artistry of the violent heart of the wilderness. Alaska isn’t all puppies and babbling brooks.

Rey stares. He’s as beautiful as she remembers, even with his snout smeared with blood. Terrifying. He’s always been terrifying, but not in a _bad _way. The Grand Canyon is terrifying and beautiful when you’re peering over the precipice into the abyss.

Ben snorts and turns away from the smashed trees, sagging on his injured side. Muk and Luk whimper but don’t approach. Why?

Her throat is tight. She can’t look away but can’t think of what to say. Sorry? I missed you? I’m still glad I went away to school, even if the memories are coming back with a guilty vengeance?

His dark eyes appraise her for a long minute before shifting to Muk and Luk. They’ve been waiting for permission she realizes, and both eagerly trot over with their heads still lowered, whining and nudging. Muk has a big scar across his muzzle.

“Hey, boys,” Rey croaks. Their fur is thick and rough; nothing like a dog. Luk licks her mouth and she coughs and laughs. “That’s—_hey_!”

She’s bowled over. They’re playing the only way they know how, probably not aware she’s a little fragile, licking her face and wagging their tails. It lasts for two seconds before a deep snarl scatters them.

Ben’s lip is curled. Muk and Luk retreat to the fringe with their tails between their legs, and Rey slowly sits up, wiping off her face.

“I’m fine,” she says. “They’re just saying hi.” She breaks into a smile. “I got knocked over by a Great Dane my first semester of school.”

Ben grunts. He walks past her into the trees, limping. She waits until he’s gone a couple feet before getting up and wiping the mud and leaves off her butt. Ouch. Definitely hit more than a couple places on the way down.

Rey glances at Muk and Luk. They lift their heads slightly and wag a bit quicker, so she whistles—but they stay where they are and glance at Ben nervously.

He’s disappearing into the trees like a shadow despite his size. Rey only moves when he looks over his shoulder at her, and as soon as she takes a couple trembling steps he resumes walking.

He fades, melding into the darkness the same way he does in her dreams. Muk and Luk take up the rear but leave her to walk alone on the path Ben crushes under his paws.

Look at that—the landscape is changing, too.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aleuuuuu

Things are… different at the cabin.

Muk and Luk race ahead, nipping at each other as they approach the dilapidated house. Vines have curled up the steps and along the roof and random stuff is strewn throughout the grass around the property: empty water bottles, a gas can, and very large animal bones amongst other random shit.

Ben’s form shimmers and shrinks when they come up to the porch. Rey hangs back to watch him and the other two walk through the open front door. Does he just leave it wide open like that all the time?

She looks around the chaos and follows them up the stairs, tentative, hanging near the doorframe. It’s somehow worse inside: most of the furniture is gone or shredded and pushed back against the walls. Deep gouges from the wolf claws zigzag across the hardwood and the only appliance Ben still has is the fridge, which looks worse for wear.

There’s a faint smell, too. Musty. At least it doesn’t seem like they bring rotting meat into the house.

Ben snaps at Muk and Luk when they head toward the hallway. Both recoil and whimper and lie down, and Ben sits, curling his lip. Is there something down there? What’s he hiding? Did he… meet someone?

The air shimmers like heat on pavement and Ben is suddenly shapeshifting. Rey watches, just as mesmerized as she was all those years ago, but his transformation doesn’t go as smoothly as it used to. He enlarges first, then he’s the vague form of a werewolf; the same werewolf she had _sex with_.

Her face burns as he finds his human form, stark naked and watching her. Maybe he’s thinking the same thing. Maybe not. He probably hates her.

Ben swipes a discarded pair of gray shorts off the floor and pulls them on. His black hair is hanging well down past his shoulders now and he’s covered in more scars than Rey remembers, but he’s in one piece and still built like a refrigerator. He looks healthy, even if he’s… changed.

He walks out to the kitchen and opens a drawer. “You get into trouble at Cornell, too? Bears? Wolves?”

Ben loops his hair back in a messy bun with a rubber band. His shorts are practically sliding off his hips. He’s in better shape than before, if that’s possible.

Rey clears her throat and averts her eyes. “Well I actually transferred. I’m going to school in the Caribbean. Ross?”

“Explains the tan.”

“Yeah.” She trails off, wringing her hands. “But I’m usually too busy studying to hang out at the beach. Or go out.” It comes out, even though it’s weird. “I don’t have a boyfriend or anything.”

Ben nods but before he can reply, nails come clicking down the hallway. Muk and Luk lift their heads and Ben very quickly strides to the hall, baring his teeth at them even though they haven’t moved. It’s concerning, because Rey is afraid he _has _moved on and is protecting his mate, but a familiar face emerges instead.

Aleu is big and jet black and beautiful, with the same haunting blue eyes Rey remembers. She’s walking slow and careful and it becomes super obvious when Ben crouches to scratch behind her ears.

“She’s pregnant?” Rey asks stupidly, as if it’s shocking a full grown wolf is pregnant.

It’s the wrong question. Ben’s jaw tightens and he side eyes her briefly before going back to rubbing Aleu’s muzzle and neck. She’s definitely pregnant: her belly is hanging low and from the looks of it, she can’t be too far from whelping. Uh oh. Ben probably isn’t too happy about that.

“I don’t know,” he says. He kisses her nose.

“It wasn’t…” Rey gestures to Muk and Luk.

Ben scowls this time. He murmurs to Aleu and she hobbles to a conspicuously new dog bed at the far end of the living room. She stares at Rey while Ben goes back to the kitchen.

“She won’t tell me,” he says, “but it wasn’t any of her brothers. Could’ve been a dog for all I know.”

“Oh. Is it her first litter?”

Ben nods and doesn’t reply. He opens the fridge and takes out a steel pan filled with chunks of bloody meat, which—well, she doesn’t want to tell him how to take care of his… _child, _but is he sure the meat is being refrigerated properly? Shouldn’t she dig a den? Shouldn’t her mate be bringing her food?

Well… technically it makes sense, if Ben is the ‘alpha’ male. The rest of the pack will serve the alpha female while she’s pregnant but the dynamics are a little weird. Wolves shouldn’t be living inside.

Rey looks over her shoulder at the door. “Can I shut that?”

She gets a shrug in response.

She pads over to the front door and grasps the handle, glancing out into the darkness—and sees a set of glowing eyes watching her. Rey squints and makes out the vague shape of a wolf but it’s gone in the blink of an eye. Could’ve been a dog.

Aleu is still staring when she turns around after shutting the door. She huffs and lays her head down on her paws, eyes closed. More than one wolf is mad at Rey right now, apparently.

Ben serves Aleu chunks of meat on a paper plate and gets a few thankful licks to his forearm. He lingers, crouched beside her and petting her neck while she eats, and he clenches his jaw again. Most wolves have puppies when they’re _much _younger than Aleu. She should be out with a pack, not sleeping on a dog bed.

But telling Ben what to do with the wolves isn’t her business. Not anymore. Maybe six years ago when they were babies, but even then they were always Ben’s.

She sits awkwardly on the torn couch. Muk and Luk wag their tails and decide to risk Ben’s wrath, wandering over together in solidarity. One jumps on next to Rey to lick her face and the other rests his head in her lap. Hey, two wolves that don’t hate her.

“So… where’s Balto?” she asks.

Her wolf, the big male. He must have flown the coop by now. He and Ben would do nothing but fight, since they’re both alpha males. Does that apply to werewolves?

“Out,” Ben replies tersely.

“Does he live here, too?”

“When he wants to. We usually get into it so he doesn’t come around as much, unless he’s dropping off food for Aleu.”

Ah. That makes sense. Rey nods, preoccupied petting the other two wolves. They’re subordinate so they probably don’t mind staying home with Ben. Maybe Aleu is too attached to leave, too.

Muk and Luk gaze up at her, doleful, and guilt wanders in. Shouldn’t have left. Should’ve put off school. Shouldn’t have gone at all. Rose didn’t go and she’s perfectly happy with her life. Rey could’ve had the same thing—but then wouldn’t have had all the experiences that have brought her right back here.

Ben could’ve come. Could’ve called. Sure they barely knew each other but there was obviously something there beyond the imprinting thing. Why didn’t he call?

“Why didn’t you call?”

Her question hangs for a minute. Aleu eats noisily and Luk closes his eyes.

Rey looks up when Ben stands. He gives Aleu one more pat but avoids Rey’s eyes. He could’ve. He could have visited her at Ross—she could introduce him to Bazine and he could get away from here for a little while. It could have worked.

“No phone,” he says.

“So you didn’t bother asking someone else to call me?”

“I didn’t want to be a burden, Rey. I told you to go and I’m glad you went. What’s the problem?”

“You didn’t bother trying to see me for six years; that’s the problem.”

Ben shuffles to the fridge. He takes out a beer and turns away, facing the sink and window.

“Had to be a clean break, Rey,” he says. He rolls his broad shoulders and drinks. “I can’t do anything halfway.”

“That’s fucking stupid.”

It’s not—not really. Thinking back to those days, when it felt exciting and new and right to stay with him, it would’ve been fucking stupid _to _stay. But that doesn’t mean he couldn’t have picked up a phone and called.

Ben crushes the beer can on the counter and drops it in the sink. He peers at her over his shoulder, dark eyes guarded and irritated. Hurt.

“I did what I had to do, Rey. I wasn’t going to knock up a kid in high school.”

“Who says you had to? We could’ve done long distance. You could’ve flown out—”

“_No_,” Ben interrupts, voice deepening and turning sharp, “I couldn’t have.”

It’s enough to make Aleu raise her head from her dinner. She studies Rey for a moment before going back to it, blue eyes narrowed.

Ben passes a hand through his hair and shakes his head, looking out the window. He braces his hands on the edge of the sink and his head dips. It’s very defeated, and Rey feels guilty once again. He would have come to visit if he could—but maybe it would’ve been too expensive, or too much time away from the wolves.

Cold trickles down her neck. Leia mentioned werewolves are possessive. Maybe he wouldn’t have been able to let go again.

Maybe he won’t be able to let go _now_.

She watches him straighten up and rub the back of his neck. Ben will let her go back to school. That’s a stupid, weird thought to entertain.

“I gotta go find something for Aleu,” he says. He raises his eyebrows. “Want me to bring you home?”

No. Not at all.

“I can stay for a bit,” Rey replies.

“…Alright. Don’t go wandering in the woods alone, though. Wait for me to get back.”

She nods, and he heads for the door, whistling for Muk and Luk. They heave themselves to their feet and follow him out into the warm afternoon, and Ben shuts the door after they’re out.

It’s quiet for a bit. Rey studies her hands and risks a peek at Aleu, only to find her giving another surprisingly icy glare. Well. She probably deserves it.

“I hope you’re not mad at me, too,” Rey teases, smiling faintly.

Aleu cocks her head, then hefts herself to her feet with a soft grunt. She snorts as she walks down the hallway back to the bedroom, nails clicking. Quiet ensues and Rey twiddles her thumbs.

Okay: Aleu is a _little _mad. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben did not impregnate Aleu; nor did any of her brothers, just so that’s abundantly clear 😬


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are u guys fucking ready for Ben and Rey to go to Target (in the next chap sorry LOL)

After an hour of uncomfortable silence, Rey decides there are better things to do than sit and wait. Like clean. The house _really _needs to be cleaned.

She finds Windex and bleach and an empty bucket with a dried out rag inside, plus a stash of paper towels on top of the refrigerator. Ben has a mop in the hallway closet that she fills with water and dish soap—the bleach might be too much for the wolves—and she wheels it out to the living room first.

The floor is scratched up beyond repair from the wolves’ talons but most of the grime and dirt comes up pretty easily. Rey scrubs and refills the bucket a handful of times until the floor shines, then she drags some of the furniture back into place. The couch is torn up, stuffing floating around the room. He’ll have to replace that.

She takes down the curtains to wash them and cleans the end table and coffee table and television stand. There’s dust _everywhere _and soon they garbage can is full, so she ties off the bag and leans it on the wall next to the door. Ben told her not to go out alone—probably wise to listen to him.

Some of Rey’s guilt wanes the longer she cleans. At least she’s helping. Sort of. She can’t take back the past six years but she can try to go forward in a positive way.

After she’s satisfied with the living room she moves on to the kitchen, and she’s finishing up the bathroom when the front door opens. Damn—it’s already seven. Time flies when you’re having fun.

Rey peeks around the hall corner and her heart skips a beat. Ben is in his werewolf form, carrying something bloody and enormous under his arm. He seems bigger. He takes up the entire entryway and dwarfs Muk and Luk, who sniff curiously at the air. Hopefully it isn’t too overwhelming for them.

Blood drips on the clean floor. Ben awkwardly lifts the hunk of meat higher, then turns to hold it outside the house, and the trail of blood follows.

“It will keep longer if you freeze it,” Rey suggests. His dark eyes flicker to her and she can’t help but shiver. “Maybe in the freezer in your garage? It’s kind of unsanitary to keep raw meat around normal food.”

Cleaning that fridge is not a task Rey is excited for. It’s like a war zone in there.

Ben studies her for another minute, then his gaze wanders the room. He huffs, loping out the front door in the next blink of an eye.

Muk and Luk lick the blood off the floor until they taste the soap. Rey sits on the couch to wait for Ben and both wolves trot up to her, tails wagging slowly, sitting on either side of her knees. She pets them, and Aleu joins the group next. She lumbers over to her bed, now cleaned of old fur, and lies down. Her glare feels a little less angry but she glares until Rey awkwardly averts her eyes.

Ben returns home in human form with a pair of black shorts and a torn, blood stained white tank top on. He eyes Rey as he shuts and locks the door.

“Thanks for cleaning,” he says. “You didn’t have to.”

“I don’t mind. You probably need a new couch, though.”

“Yeah. New couch, new T.V., new appliances.” He goes to Aleu first to let her lick his hand. “I’ve been eating everything raw so I sold a lot of it off—don’t have much to offer for dinner.”

“It’s okay,” Rey says, shrugging. “I’ll just get something when I go back to Rose’s.”

Ben nods. He scratches Aleu behind the ears and mutters that he’s going to take a shower, leaving Rey alone in the living room with the wolves.

Muk and Luk lie down at her feet. Aleu stares, eyes fluttering shut then snapping open again. Best not to stare back, so Rey sits there in silence and studies her hands. Ben’s shower is the only sound.

Then a low howl breaks the quiet.

Rey frowns, glancing up. It sounds… familiar, and she gets up to investigate through the front window.

It’s dark, and nothing catches her eye for a minute. She cups a hand on the window to reduce the glare from the living room lights.

There’s a big wolf standing beside Ben’s truck. His eyes reflect red in the darkness and the moment Rey meets his gaze, he lifts his head and howls again. It’s impossible to make out the fur color but she’s almost a hundred percent positive that it’s Balto.

She smiles, happy to see him. He was always hers—maybe he wants to say hello like Muk and Luk did. Maybe he knows she’s back. Rey leans away from the window and reaches out for the door handle.

Her wrist is grabbed.

She jerks instinctively but Ben yanks her forward instead of letting go. His eyes are bright green with thin slits and he’s growling, sharp fangs bared, and Rey has a flicker of fear. He’s human otherwise. Somehow that makes it more intimidating.

After a handful of seconds his expression relaxes. He blinks and his eyes fade to brown again, and he quickly releases Rey like she’s on fire. Ben passes a hand through his damp hair and clears his throat.

“Shouldn’t go out,” he says roughly. “Dangerous.”

“I think it’s Balto?”

“Yeah, well—if he wants to see you he needs to ask me for permission first. He knows the rules.”

“…I can’t just go say hi?” Rey clarifies.

“No. He knows the rules.”

Rules—what rules?

Ben combs a hand through his hair, avoiding her eyes. He jerks his chin towards the hall.

“You can take the bed,” he offers. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“It’s okay, I’ll stay out here.” Even though it’s only like seven thirty.

Ben’s jaw clenches. He nods, clearly trying to be agreeable and resisting some weird urge, and Rey figures she’s made him resist his urges long enough.

“Or I can sleep in the bed,” she blurts. “That’s fine.”

“…Good.” He noticeably relaxes. “It’s clean. I didn’t let the wolves sleep in it or anything. Washed the sheets. Flipped the mattress.”

“Okay. Great. I put your curtains in the washer.”

“Thanks.”

Rey nods, studying her hands. “You’re almost out of detergent. I can go get some tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry about it. You don’t have to waste your vacation time on me.”

“It’s not a waste. All I’ve done is sit around and play with Rose’s kids, anyway. I haven’t even gone to see Finn or Poe yet.”

Ben folds his arms, nodding and raising his eyebrows. Rose mentioned Poe has been a little trigger-happy with the wolves. That can’t be good.

He rubs his nose. “Yeah. You should go see your friends. Don’t worry about us.”

“Well Rose told me you quit your job and became a hermit out here, so I’m a little worried. And Poe is _not _my friend. Finn is.”

“Had to take care of my pack—warned the other packs to keep their distance after Poe started looking for me. Now it’s become a full time job avoiding him and making sure he doesn’t kill any more wolves.”

…Oh. Rey looks down at her hands again, opting not to say anything. Maybe she can talk to Finn and have him talk to Poe in turn. Ben isn’t the best at talking—maybe here she can help him.

“I’ll talk to Finn,” she says. “We talk every once in a while still.”

“Won’t matter. Poe has a vendetta. I’ve talked to him before.”

“I’m _sure _he can be reasoned with, Ben.” Rey grabs her phone off the coffee table and shoots a text to Finn. “You going and arguing with him won’t help but I’m sure Finn can get through to him.”

Ben huffs, shaking his head. He sits a foot away from Rey while she’s texting Finn and it distracts her for a full thirty seconds. He’s wearing clean clothes now thank god and smells faintly of his shampoo—but there’s that other weird scent he has, something she can’t really describe. It’s warm and soft and makes her stomach twist in excited knots.

She sets her phone on the coffee table once she’s done. Service has improved out here.

“I’ve been on him for six _years_,” Ben mutters. He puts an arm over the back of the couch. “He’s not going to stop.”

“We’ll see.” Rey shrugs, pretending not to care about his arm being so close to her. “You’re not the best at talking to people. No offense.”

He grunts. Point proven.

They sit there in silence for an awkward minute. Most of her questions have answers and she doesn’t want to pry too much.

Ben clears his throat. “So… you like school?”

“Yeah, it’s been great. I’ve learned a lot—met a lot of people. Went to the beach twice.”

He nods, slipping back into quiet for a minute. His finger plays with the frayed edge of the couch’s armrest.

“Gone out with anyone?” he asks. His voice lifts a little and he clears his throat so it’s deep again. “No big deal or anything. It’s been a long time.”

“Ah… Nope. Nope.” Rey shakes her head. Why is this so awkward?

“Great. Cool. That’s cool. I haven’t either.”

“Oh. Cool.”

Ben gesticulates toward the cabin. “I haven’t been in human form for this long in a handful of years now, actually. Feels pretty weird.”

“Yeah?” Rey frowns up at him and finds he’s already staring at her. “You were always so neat and organized, so I was surprised to see the house… uh…” In fucking shambles? “Messy.”

He nods absentmindedly, dark eyes slightly lowered like he’s watching her mouth. He plays with the shell of his ear and just keeps staring, and it makes the coils in her belly tighten even more. Jesus.

She smiles. “Rose has some spare furniture in the basement, actually—I can ask if we can have some? And I have extra money; I could probably buy a stove or a dishwasher or something, if that would help. New mattress. I bet you’ve never replaced that in your life.”

Rey laughs a little, nervous, and Ben gives her a slim, distracted smile in return. It’s the way he used to look at her sometimes: mesmerized, eyes glazed. He’s probably barely paying attention.

It’s nice. She missed it. Kind of intimidating, though—just like it used to be.

She nods, standing up. “So, if you want to get me up in the morning I’ll come run errands with you? I already let Rose know I’m here so we’re in the clear there.” Ben sort of nods but doesn’t say anything. “Great. Okay, I’ll see you then.”

Rey skitters down the hall to the bedroom. It’s a pigsty like the rest of the house but the bed is cleared off enough for her to curl up on.

She closes the door behind her, then presses her forehead to it. Everything is coming back to her, and this time she won’t be able to leave.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst for days

Aleu wakes Rey in the morning by pulling the comforter off her and dropping it to the floor. She meets a pair of suspicious blue eyes watching her from the door, green comforter a rumpled pile under her paws. Then Aleu snorts and walks away.

Rey climbs out of bed, shivering and rubbing her arms, and finds Muk and Luk eating their breakfast in the kitchen. Her stomach growls—she skipped dinner last night—then she hears a door behind her and turns around.

Ben is awake, too, apparently. He’s not wearing a shirt and is still damp from his shower, toweling off his hair. Rey raises her eyebrows and purses her lips and averts her eyes to the ceiling. Alright. Well.

“Aleu?” he asks.

“How’d you know?”

He laughs a little as he walks past her to the kitchen. Looks like he did some more cleaning last night: grout is white in the tile and the filthy refrigerator is gone, dirt and grime behind it all swept out. Wow. She slept like a _rock _through all of that.

“She does the same thing to me when I annoy her.” Ben drapes his towel around his shoulders and opens a drawer. “We can go out and grab breakfast if you want. I took the fridge out—just too dirty.”

Rey nods. She glances at him taking out a pack of cigarettes, lingers, then switches to watching Muk and Luk gorging themselves. Shouldn’t stare. It’s rude.

Ben shuts the drawer. “You hear anything from Finn?”

“Oh! Um—” Rey feels around for her phone and holds up her index finger. “Hang on a sec.”

Good idea. Maybe Finn has an answer. It’s not like Finn to let animals get hurt, but it’s _almost _a guarantee that Ben didn’t try talking to him at all. He’s not the best at talking to people.

She hurries to the bedroom and finds her phone on the nightstand, very dead. Ugh.

“Nothing yet?”

Rey glances over her shoulder at Ben near the door. She sighs and shows him the black screen and he ambles over to investigate, squinting.

“Dead.” She turns it around and heaves a sigh before slipping it in her back pocket. “I’ll charge it when we get back from running around. I’m sure he answered.”

“Alright. No big deal either way.”

She shrugs and nods. He’s standing right in front of her, and an awkward pause ensues. Can’t look up. If she looks him in the eyes something might happen and she’s too hungry and confused right now to deal with something happening.

Ben seems to pick up on the weird energy and clears his throat, stepping aside.

“Want to stop by Rose and Hux’s?” he asks. “So you can shower and change.”

“Sure, that would be great.”

He nods and mutters ‘just need to get changed’ so Rey sees herself from his bedroom. Hopefully Rose and Hux aren’t home, or this will be weird.

—•—

Rose is home; Hux is at work. Still weird.

Ben parks his rusty truck near the front steps and Rose comes out with Olivia and Paige on her heels. She smiles in that weird way she does when things are going to be weird, and Rey braces herself as she gets out of the truck. This is fine.

Rose sets one hand on her hip, shielding her eyes with the other. “Is that _Ben Solo _I see?”

Oh no. Her tone is already weird.

Olivia and Paige seem nervous and hide behind their mother. Ben waves and Rose smiles wide and waves back, gaze slowly wandering to Rey.

“Rose,” he calls. “Been a while.”

“I guess it has, huh?” She raises her eyebrows, beckoning Rey. “Need something new to wear after your sleepover?”

Rey huffs and hurries up the steps. Jesus Christ.

Rose follows her up to the guest room. She’s quick. Too quick. Can’t escape.

“Excuse me, Rey Niima—you didn’t text me for a very long time! I had no idea where you were and—I mean, good for you—but I had no idea where you were!”

“I know, I know; I’m sorry.”

Rose heaves a sigh and lingers by the doorway while Rey finds something to wear. She really should’ve texted Rose but it didn’t even cross her mind. There’s something about Ben that distracts her completely from the outside world, like nothing matters except what happens in that cabin.

“Well…” Rose sighs again. “You look nice in that blue sundress.”

Oh—right. She does. Rey thanks her and finds it hanging up in the closet. It’s nice and light; perfect for the weather today, and she has silver sandals to match.

“We just got talking.” Rey shakes her head as she rummages for a bra and panties. “I don’t know what it is about him. I cleaned his whole fucking house.”

“…Why?”

“I have literally _no _idea, Rose. I just felt guilty and it was driving me crazy.”

“Well if you’re ever possessed by a cleaning demon again, my house could use it.”

Rey rolls her eyes and Rose laughs, throwing her head back and walking off still laughing at her joke. Hilarious. The second coming of Carlin.

Rey takes a quick shower and brushes her teeth, then puts on a little makeup. She’s rushing for some reason and realizes when she gets to the door that she forgot to charge her phone. She groans, hesitating on the stairs, then hurrying down them. Whatever. She’ll charge it later.

Ben is sitting on the porch with Olivia and Paige, and Rose is in her Adirondack chair sipping a warm drink. She smiles as Rey approaches and notices Ben has his entire forearm transformed into a wolf limb. Werewolf limb, with the big talons.

Olivia and Paige are spellbound. Olivia grasps his thumb and gently moves it back and forth, gasping, and Paige hides her face in her sister’s shoulder.

Rose sips her drink. “Mister Solo will come rip up your toys if you don’t put them away when mommy asks, girls.”

From the angle Rey is standing she can see Ben smiling, but it fades as he turns to glance at Rose. He shakes his head, still shaking as he looks back at the girls who are now wide-eyed and ashen.

“Oh—no.” He laughs uncomfortably. “Mister Solo isn’t going to do that.”

His arm transforms as Rey comes down the steps, setting a hand on Olivia and Paige’s heads. Ben smiles, dark eyes wandering down her dress as the girls look up at her.

“He won’t,” Rey says. “Your mom is… being silly.”

Rose grunts, rolling her eyes.

“Do you guys want to stay for breakfast?” she asks. “I made a quiche. Hux showed me how.”

Rey exchanges a glance with Ben. He shrugs, and she nods, looking back at Rose. That sounds nice, actually—and Hux is a good cook.

Rose beams. “Great! I’ll put on coffee, too—” She stands, pointing at Ben and raising her eyebrows at her daughters. “Better go clean up your stuff before Mister Solo gets his very large talons on all of it.”

They gasp at the same exact time and race inside. Rose smiles until she catches Rey watching her, incredulous. Ben just studies his hands.

Rose snorts. “What? _You _try getting them to clean up their toys.”

—•—

The closest Target is almost an hour away. Thankfully most of the ride is quiet and Ben doesn’t make any emotional declarations or start any awkward conversations. The radio plays oldies and a nice breeze comes in through the window. It’s like it was six years ago when they picked up the puppies.

The parking lot is mostly empty, and it’s quiet inside Target. Rey crosses her arms while Ben grabs a cart and they walk together past the clothes section.

“So—” She sighs, letting her head loll back. “I forgot to charge my phone, _and _I forgot to ask Rose about the furniture.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Ben turns around a corner and shrugs. He’s dressed nice: one of his red flannels and jeans, black hair looped back in a messy half-ponytail. It’s uneven, so he’s probably been cutting it himself.

“I’ve got some money saved,” he says. “We also need appliances and uh… this isn’t the right store for that.”

“Oh my god, you’re right. What are we even doing here?”

Ben laughs, and when she meets his eyes he just shrugs and laughs again. They could use… towels? Stuff like that. Maybe there’s a Lowe’s nearby where they can drop by and pick out a stove and fridge real quick. That can’t be too complicated.

“The power of Target,” Rey says, shaking her head.

Still, a Target run is always welcome. It’s a nice distraction from the other things hanging over her head.

Their first stop is the towels. He needs new ones desperately. And new sheets. Target has a nice enough selection and she figures Ben won’t need or want expensive stuff, so she checks out the cheaper ones. Not like the wolves will shower.

“What about these?” Rey asks, running her hands across a beige towel.

Ben ambles up to stand beside her and takes the towel she offers. He gropes it and seems lost so she takes it back and grabs a couple, laughing.

“They’re just towels to me,” he says sheepishly. “But, uh—if you like them.” He rubs the back of his neck and gestures to the shelf. “Go ahead. I know you’ll make it nice.”

“I’ll do my very best to without spending your entire life savings.”

He smiles. It’s nice to see him smile, and she lingers on his face before moving down to washcloths.

They make their way slowly through bathroom supplies to the sheet sets against the wall. Ben hovers a step or two away while Rey chats about the different types of sheets, then she realizes he’s following her, not in a creepy way but just… like he’s trapped in her gravity.

“They’re just sheets,” he says, studying a box of flannel sheets.

Rey plucks them from his hands. “Well these are going to make you sweat to death. How about cotton? It’s breathable and gets really soft.”

“Really? Isn’t flannel warm?”

“For normal people, yes. It’s nice during winter.” She casts a furtive glance around and leans closer. “But since you’re a _werewolf_ and run much hotter than normal people—bad idea.”

Ben puckers his lips as he accepts a box of cotton sheets to examine.

“I’m only a little hot.”

“You are literally boiling hot. I remember.”

“Nah. I think you’re remembering wrong, Rey.”

She scoffs. Hell no. It wasn’t bad or anything, especially when the nights were cold, but he was most definitely much hotter than the average person. Sometimes she would stick her legs out from under the blankets to cool herself off.

And of course—there was the time they had sex. That was hot. Temperature-wise, of course.

Ben taps the sheets to his palm. “I think I’ll give Aleu the old mattress for the puppies. You think she would like flannel for them?”

“Oh, yeah. That will keep them really warm.” Rey grabs a set of green flannel sheets and tosses it in the cart. “Are they going to live… inside? With you?”

“Where else would they live?”

Outside, where wolves live, because Aleu is a wild animal and shouldn’t be living in a house.

Rey keeps her comments to herself, and they move on to housewares.

—•—

Their next stop is Lowe’s, where Rey is just as clueless as Ben in regards to appliances. He picks things that fit the measurements he took: a fridge, stove, and dishwasher, and Rey insists on buying the microwave and mattress.

“You really don’t have to,” Ben says for the third time while they’re parking at the mattress store.

She waves him off.

It’s a small place and there’s one salesman and no one else in the store. He eventually moves away to let them shop in peace. Must not be a lot of people in Alaska looking for new mattresses because he hovers hard until Rey shoots him a dirty look.

Ben leads the way, sometimes reaching out to push on one. They all seem the same and Rey won’t be the one sleeping on it, so…

“Anything look interesting?” she asks.

He sits on the one he’s touching and shrugs, clasping his hands between his knees. All of them look too small for him. He’s a behemoth, even as a human.

“They all seem the same,” Ben says.

“That’s what I was thinking. And you’re way too big for most of them.”

“Yeah.” He clicks his tongue, surveying the sea of display mattresses. “Maybe I’ll go full wolf and live in a cave instead.”

Rey laughs at what she assumes is a joke. Ben just smiles ruefully and examines his hands.

“Well that would be a waste,” she says. “With all your nice new appliances.”

“Won’t have much need for them once you’re gone.”

Silence follows. Ben doesn’t look up at her, and Rey slowly moves her gaze away from him to another empty mattress.

What is she supposed to say to that? Is she supposed to drop out of vet school? Stay here? Give up her dream she’s been working toward for almost a decade? He wouldn’t expect that of her, right?

Rey presses her lips together and doesn’t respond, and in a couple more seconds Ben shakes his head. He’s still examining his hands.

“Sorry,” he says. “That’s not fair.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

He stands up, avoiding her eyes, expression flat and impassive. Guilt comes through like it did when she first saw his cabin in shambles and realized how severely her leaving fucked him up. But it isn’t her responsibility to keep him afloat. That’s not healthy or normal or romantic.

Even with the imprinting thing factored in—which Rey really doesn’t understand—she can’t give up everything to keep Ben above water. She just wants to help right the ship before she has to go back, even if a small part of her is certain she won’t be able to.

Ben clears his throat. “Nothing. I’m sorry.” He motions to the next row of mattresses. “How about one of these? They look expensive.” He moves on and sits on the next mattress.

She isn’t going to be able to leave here without hurting him again. It’s all going to fall apart as soon as she’s gone, and next time it might be worse.

Rey chews her nails. What the hell is she going to do?


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so many symbols in this fic but some ppl are too hung up on hating Rey to notice 😔

The mattress fits in the back of Ben’s truck with the microwave, and the major appliances are set to be delivered in a few days. The ride home is quiet and Rey stares out the window at the passing evergreens, twiddling her thumbs in her lap.

“So… Rose knows?” she asks.

“Yeah.” Ben clears his throat and nods. “She used to come by a lot when you left—she missed you, too, and brought food and stuff. Was drunk once or twice and she saw me transform.”

“Oh.”

“We weren’t, uh…” He gesticulates. “Involved.”

“Oh, yeah. No, I know.”

“I’m clearly not her type. And she’s clearly not mine.”

Rey nods, raising her eyebrows. Yeah. Hux is Rose’s type, and Hux is nothing like Ben.

“Does anyone else know?” she asks.

“Only Amilyn knew. Hux obviously knows, and the girls. Poe and Finn don’t.”

“Maybe Poe will ease off if he knows?”

Ben plays with the trim along the window and shrugs. Surely Poe wouldn’t be on a campaign to kill a giant wolf if he knows the giant wolf is actually a human—but maybe it’s a personal thing to tell people you’re a werewolf. Could end badly for Ben if a lot of people find out and Poe has a big mouth.

Rey studies her hands. “I didn’t know Rose was that upset when I left.”

“Yeah. She didn’t want to make you feel guilty—I mean, nobody wanted that.” He glances at her and smiles. “Sometimes people move on to bigger things. Not their fault and not something to be mad about.”

They lapse into silence for the rest of the ride. Didn’t really move on to anything bigger. It’s just always been her dream.

The truck lurches down Ben’s gravel driveway, and at the end Rey notices a red truck parked near the front door. She beams when she sees Finn leaning against it: he’s taller and broader in the shoulders, wearing a green sweater and jeans, and he waves hello. He’s smiling but it seems tense.

Ben doesn’t look excited. He parks next to the truck, just short of a scowl, lingering after Rey gets out.

“Finn!” she exclaims. “It’s so good to see you!”

They hug, chattering away when they separate. He wants to know how school is; Rey wants to know what he’s been up to. Sometimes he texts her but it’s infrequent and it’s a very different experience seeing him in person. Feels like it’s been a lifetime.

“I’m working for the DEC,” Finn says, nodding and smiling. “Don’t do the field work Poe does but I rehab the animals with Maz and do office work. Conduct studies. Nothing fancy.”

“But that’s great for you! You always loved the nuts and bolts—not everyone needs to be a warden.”

Finn keeps nodding but his eyes roam over Rey’s shoulder. His smile slackens and she turns as Ben comes to stand behind her. He gives Finn an equally uncomfortable smile and nods toward the house.

“Poe here?” Ben asks.

“He just went around the back of the house.” Finn rubs the back of his neck. “Saw those big paw prints.”

“What’s he doing trespassing on my property, Finn?”

“That you, Solo?”

Poe emerges from behind the house. He’s carrying a rifle in one hand, studying the mud while he walks, all decked out in a brown DEC uniform complete with badges on the shoulders. He scratches his neck and only glances up to flash one of his charming smiles before he stops and examines something. He taps a rock with the tip of his rifle.

Ben shifts his jaw from side to side. He flexes his right hand and curls it into a fist. Poe _really _has no right to be searching Ben’s property.

Rey clears her throat. “Hi Poe. Something we can help you find?”

“Nah. Nothin’ much.” Poe shrugs and doesn’t look at her. “Finn wanted to drop by and I saw those big paw prints. Thought I’d take a look.”

“You’re on private property, Dameron.”

Poe smiles. He circles a print in long, meandering strides. “Don’t need a warrant to search private property during the course of an investigation, Solo.”

“We should go,” Finn interjects. He motions Poe. “Let’s go, Poe.”

“Almost done,” Poe replies.

_Jesus _Christ. He’s more insufferable than ever. Rey rolls her eyes and gives Finn a look as she walks past him, heading straight to Poe. Real Herculean effort, Finn. Maybe it won’t be so easy to get Poe to stop killing wolves.

She grabs his arm. He pulls but she holds firm, digging her fingers into his muscle. Her years of restraining cats is finally paying off.

“You were asked to leave,” Rey says coldly.

“I’m conducting an _investigation_—”

“You’re trespassing unless you’re on the clock with the DEC and have paperwork to back up your investigation.” She raises her eyebrows. “My level two surgery professor was the director of the DEC in New York. I could always text her to check.”

Technically she was _married _to the director of the department of environmental conservation, but Poe doesn’t need to know that. The threat seems to work and he scowls and pulls his arm free, offering one more glare before stalking back to his truck. Finn nods and waves and averts his eyes.

Ben turns to watch them leave. He doesn’t move until they’re on the main road, then he rubs his mouth and swears. He sets a hand on his hip and glares at the ground before heading to the house. Rey follows, hovering behind so she doesn’t intrude.

She glimpses all three wolves inside and sighs, relieved. Good. At least they’re okay. If they had attracted attention they might not be.

Rey goes back to Ben’s truck and grabs a couple bags. Muk and Luk come bounding down the stairs, wagging their tails and tackling each other until Muk tears off into the woods. Luk goes chasing after him and they both disappear in the underbrush. 

Rey feels a twinge of unease and glances over her shoulder. They really aren’t safe anymore.

“Want some help?”

Ben approaches rubbing his eyes and wiping them with the heels of his palms. Aleu is close behind, sniffing the air, and she doesn’t come any faster when Ben whistles to her. She closes her eyes for a minute, letting the breeze ruffle her fur.

“Oh, I’m okay,” Rey says hastily. She laughs, bags swaying on her arms. “I thought you were going to kill Poe for a second there.”

Ben doesn’t smile. He raises his eyebrows instead, pressing his lips in a firm line, and grabs the mattress. He whistles for Aleu as he walks upstairs but she doesn’t come until the second whistle.

It takes a bit to get everything inside and organized: the new mattress gets new sheets and the old one is moved to the living room for Aleu. She snorts at it and turns her nose up, which is great because it takes up the entire living room, so Ben brings it outside. Thank god. He doesn’t need a dirty old mattress in the living room.

Rey busies herself with folding the new bathroom towels and the other odds and ends. Something tight keeps twisting in her chest no matter how much she tries to distract herself, so she goes outside to get some fresh air.

She rubs her chest, wincing and taking a deep breath of the cool breeze. Jeez. What _is _that?

“One of the wolves is calling you.”

Ben’s voice carries from the side of the house. Rey leans over the rail and finds him cutting the old mattress up with a hatchet, throwing out the stuffing in the garbage. He wipes his forehead with the back of his hand and brings down the hatchet harder than she thinks is necessary.

Rey folds her arms on the rail. “I think it’s from all this manual labor I’m doing.”

“It’s the pack.” He leans over to scoop up more stuffing. “Surprised you can feel it.”

The _pack_? They’re wild wolves. Ben isn’t a part of their pack. He’s a human who sometimes can shapeshift into a wolf.

Rey chews her lower lip while she watches him. No—he’s really not. He’s both at the same time. He _needs _to be both at the same time, but how can that be possible?

Muk and Luk come tumbling through the bushes. Ben pauses to watch them and whistles sharply when one yelps. They break up, heads bowed, glaring at each other. They lie down a handful of feet apart and Muk heaves a sigh like he’s pouting. Ben rolls his eyes and shakes his head before he goes back to work.

Rey raises her eyebrows. “Strict parenting. Very authoritarian.”

Ben looks at her and breaks into a smile. He laughs, running a hand through his hair, but doesn’t say anything for a long minute.

“So—you, uh…” He flips the hatchet in his grasp and Rey’s heart skips a beat. “You can feel them?”

“Still think it’s from how I’ve been toiling away.”

“Your chest still hurt?”

She puckers her lips, frowning, and nods. Not really painful but insistent and achey. Strange. Doesn’t quite feel like a panic attack but similar.

Ben looks out towards the woods. The hatchet dangles from his fingertips, and Muk and Luk lift their heads to look, too.

“Must be Balto,” he says. “I can’t feel him.”

“Yeah? He must be my spirit wolf.”

“Maybe.” Ben shrugs and looks back at her. “I can feel Aleu and sometimes these two. Figured it was a werewolf thing but maybe not.” He brings down the hatchet, tearing through the corner of the mattress. “Can’t really rule anything out.”

“Can’t even rule werewolves out.”

Ben laughs as he bends to pick up some loose springs. Rey smiles and trails her gaze along the treeline. She did always like Balto. He and Aleu got into it a lot.

“Thanks for handling Poe for me.”

There’s metallic clinking. Ben is collecting the mattress springs in a bucket and Muk and Luk are playing tug of war with a strip of the mattress. It’s maybe halfway torn apart; the wolves could probably handle the rest.

Rey watches him for a minute before shrugging.

“Sure.”

“Sorry about interrupting your reunion with Finn. He’s a nice guy. He missed you, too.”

“Yeah.” Rey rolls her tongue in her cheek. “I’ll try calling him later. Don’t get this wolf vendetta Poe has.”

Ben sets his hands on his hips. He squints up at the sky, twisting his lips like he’s thinking. Muk tears the strip away from Luk and bolts into the woods.

Ben scratches his head, lowering his gaze. He watches the wolves run off.

“Well…” He hesitates. “Poe and I have had a couple run-ins over the years.”

“…What do you mean?”

“Nothing serious. We’d just run across each other out in the woods and I spooked him a bit.”

“Spooked him? What does that mean?”

Ben nudges the mattress with the toe of his boot. He shrugs, eyes downcast. Bushes sway and crack in the distance from Muk and Luk playing, barks and yelps carrying quietly in the breeze.

“He got a little too cocky after Amilyn left and I quit,” Ben says. “Might’ve run into him when I was in werewolf form. Once or twice.”

“_What_?!”

Why—what?! Rey gapes, shocked he would do something so reckless and _stupid_. Why would he let trophy-hunting Poe Dameron see his _werewolf _form? The big wolf form was bad enough but—why?!

Ben nods, grimacing. He lodges his hatchet in a nearby stump.

“Yeah. Wasn’t really thinking straight.”

“Not th—” Rey laughs, semi-hysterical. “He must know. That’s why he keeps coming around here and harassing you. _Ben_—why would you—?”

“Same part of my brain that kept screaming at me to kidnap you six years ago.” He scoops up the shreds of the mattress. “Didn’t listen to it back then. Guess it’s full of shitty ideas.”

Kidnap—? _Kidnap_—what? Who? _Her_? Kidnap?

There isn’t an explanation forthcoming and Rey gawks, too stunned to say anything or move. Jesus Christ. Ben was going to kidnap her? Is he serious, or is that just his weird sense of humor? He wouldn’t have kidnapped her. He wouldn’t now.

He pushes down the tatters of the mattress and doesn’t say anything when the lid is closed. He rubs his mouth and turns the hand up in defeat.

“I don’t know why I said that.” Ben massages his forehead, exhaling through his teeth. “I’m sorry. Jesus Christ—I’m not going to kidnap you.”

Rey’s knee-jerk reaction is more confusion than fear, which is surprising even to her. She swallows, eyebrows lifting so high she thinks they’ll fall off her face. Okay. Well. Ben isn’t the best with words and he did spend almost six years as a wolf. No need to panic or escalate over a very slight, very minor mention of intended felonies.

“…Well—”

“I didn’t want to scare you,” Ben interrupts, turning and starting towards her. He stops like he realizes it’s a bad idea and shakes his head.

“It’s oka—”

“I’m not human, Rey. I try to be, but…” He shakes his head again, gazing off into the woods. “I don’t want to hurt you but I can’t go the rest of my life ignoring and suppressing this shit, either. Can’t be one or the other. Have to be both.”

Right. She nods, and doesn’t say anything for a few minutes. Ben keeps watching the trees. He _does _have to be both—she just wishes she understood it better and wasn’t so intimidated by it.

Rey examines her hands. In a couple weeks she’ll be flying back to school. She’s supposed to, anyway.

Maybe she can stay and earn some credit working in one of the shelters, or helping Finn and the DEC with the wildlife. Maybe. Maybe Ben will let go of Aleu and the other wolves and come to the island with her.

He kicks a rock, hands in his pockets.

“Sorry,” he says. “I’m not saying I’m going to throw caution to the wind and kidnap you. Just… frustrated.”

“I know.” Rey pauses, trying to collect her thoughts. “Maybe I can—”

A long howl pierces the quiet. Muk and Luk lift their heads from the bushes and race back to Ben, ears pricked as they circle around the back of him.

The tension in Rey’s chest twists like a corkscrew. She stares towards the howl, rubbing her chest as it tapers off. It’s beautiful. It doesn’t sound real.

Another howl follows as she descends the stairs and comes to stand beside Ben. He’s scowling, arms crossed, dark eyes flickering green and searching the woods. Muk and Luk sit just behind him and don’t move as the second howl fades into the afternoon.

Rey grasps Ben’s arm, waiting with bated breath. Sounds familiar. She’s half-tempted to go look for the source—then he appears on a sun-dappled rock.

He’s _big_. He dwarfs Muk and Luk, even from a distance, and his gray fur has taken on a shimmering grayish-white shade in adulthood with a thick mane around his neck. Balto is maybe fifty feet away and his big paws settle on the edge of his perch as he fixates his golden eyes on Rey. He’s beautiful. _Big_.

She shuffles forward, hand slipping from Ben’s arm. Balto’s eyes are mesmerizing, she thinks. Beautiful. He’s so beautiful framed by the evergreens and he looks like he knows what she wants. She doesn’t know what she wants, but for _some reason_—

“Rey_._”

A firm hand grabs her arm. Rey halts, still staring, and pulls absentmindedly against Ben’s grasp. Balto stares back at her.

Ben gives a rough tug, and she snaps out it.

Rey blinks, stumbling a step into his chest as the odd impulses fade. She frowns up at Ben and glances over her shoulder at Balto, now coming down from the rock. Uh oh.

Ben bares his teeth. He moves Rey aside and stalks toward Balto, who comes out from the treeline, impassive, not meeting Ben’s aggression. He pauses when he comes within a few feet of Ben, then calmly begins around his side.

A loud snap cracks the air as Ben shapeshifts into a large black wolf. He snarls and steps in Balto’s path, ears pinned back and fur bristling. Muk and Luk shrink back behind Rey.

“Ben, it’s okay,” she calls. She laughs and takes a couple steps towards them. “Calm down—”

He whips around, snapping his teeth at her. Rey jerks back and trips over her own two feet, quickly raising her arms to shield her face. Her heart skips a couple beats and it doesn’t register for a minute: Ben just… _snapped _at her?

She stares and his angry snarl fades for a moment. He blinks, green eyes widening—then they snap to the right as Balto walks past him.

“Ben—!” Rey manages.

He tackles Balto hard enough to send him rolling a few feet. Rey covers her mouth and scrambles to her feet but she’s snapped at when she tries to investigate. She holds out her hands defensively and Ben relaxes again, like he’s coming out of a trance, blinking and shaking his head.

Balto gets to his feet. He shakes off, still not showing any aggression, and proceeds towards Rey again.

Ben knocks him over. His black fur is practically pin-straight and he’s shaking with rage, huge teeth bared. He licks his lips when Balto lies still for a minute, then he’s furious all over again as he stands up. It doesn’t make sense—he lets Aleu and the others get close.

Muk and Luk are hiding near the porch and they jump when Ben turns. Rey steps back but he gives her a hard shove in the stomach with his snout, urging her toward the porch. Maybe he doesn’t want to _kill_ Balto, but he doesn’t want him getting close.

“Ben—_Ben_!” she snaps. “Cut it out!”

Balto is still following. He pauses when Ben rounds on him, snarling and stomping a paw, then he goes back to herding Rey up the stairs.

She’s pushed inside. Aleu is curiously watching and she ducks out of the way as Muk and Luk scramble inside, too. Ben turns and gives Balto one more warning growl before shapeshifting into a werewolf.

He roars. Rey backs up with Muk and Luk as Ben chuffs and enters the house, slamming the door shut behind him. The whole cabin shakes.

_Wolf stuff_, Rey thinks, watching him check the windows and pull the new curtains shut. He knocks things aside that get in his way and paces in front of the door when he’s done, seemingly oblivious to how startled the wolves are.

Ben looks over his furry shoulder at her. She stiffens, trying to be terrified when he crosses the room—but she still backpedals until she bumps into the island.

He whimpers, dipping his head, looking up at her from under his lashes. He nuzzles into her stomach and whimpers more as he sits in front of her, long arms loosely wrapped around her legs. Wolf stuff, she thinks. Terrifying wolf stuff. Is this an apology? Is he mad at _her_? Why is he mad at Balto?

Rey hesitantly touches Ben’s head. Well—if he _does _kidnap her, at least they’ll have nice new appliances.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *chanting* SYMBOLS SYMBOLS SYMBOLS

A tense few hours slowly, painfully tick by.

Ben shows no signs of calming down or changing form. He paces as well as he can in the small cabin, lifting his ears when he peers out a window before he slinks to the next one. Rey isn’t too keen on risking incurring his wrath again and even Aleu seems unnerved by his behavior.

Balto obviously came for Rey. She isn’t sure why—they always had a bond, just like Ben and Aleu—but she’s sure it’s making Ben worry she’s going to leave him again. But she’s in no danger of running off to live in the woods.

She watches Ben from the kitchen with the other wolves. She’s leaning on the island and Aleu is sitting next to her, Muk and Luk on the other side. Their heads follow his path through the cabin as he lopes from window to window without pause. It would be comical if Ben wasn’t so upset.

“Ben?” Rey calls, raspy.

His head whips around. He stares at her with his unbearably sad eyes as he slowly comes down from the window. His nails click on the floor. 

“Ben,” she repeats. “It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

He whimpers, pinning his ears back and not moving towards her. Rey extends a hand and leans forward but he moves to the door and plants himself there instead. Oh. Well, that sends a message.

She watches him for a minute before leaning forward on her hands and knees. Ben cocks his head as she crawls toward him, and Rey is relieved they took the time to clean the house a couple days ago.

“It’s okay,” she says. She rests back on her thighs a couple feet away from him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Ben keeps his ears pinned. His upper lip curls into a snarl and then he’s actually snarling at her, that same warning sound from outside. It makes Rey cower at first—but _no_. He can’t growl at her. It’s like he’s telling her to shut up and do what he says.

She points, narrowing her eyes. Ben blinks and his snarl disappears.

“Stop.” Rey waggles her finger and he draws his head back, huffing. “Don’t give me an attitude, Ben. You can’t treat me like I’m another wolf in your pack.”

He shakes his head quickly, huffing more through his mouth. Rey raises her eyebrows and stretches her arm, pointing directly at his face, and his eyes cross following her finger. He sways back as she shuffles up to him on her knees.

“I know you’re scared and upset—and I’m sorry.” She pauses a foot away from him, resting on her thighs again and settling her hands in her lap. “I was young, though. I barely knew you.” Rey shrugs and looks down at her hands. “Lots of people have left me so I just usually leave them first.”

There it is. Awkward. Cliché, too, and really pathetic. She needs therapy. She needed it when she willingly fucked a werewolf.

But the cat is out of the bag now. Sharing feelings doesn’t come naturally to Rey without a little alcohol to grease the wheels, but now there’s momentum.

“I need space sometimes,” she continues, still studying her hands. She rubs her index finger. “I’m going to want a week or two weeks alone. I need it every once in a while.” She swallows. “It doesn’t mean I don’t love you, though. I just panicked back then—and I was scared to come back. I thought you’d hate me.”

Tears come and Rey tries to hide her sniffle by clearing her throat. Ben is quiet. He can’t talk while he’s a werewolf.

“But you could’ve called!” she snaps. She looks up sharply and Ben jerks back, blinking. “I know you’re all or nothing but that’s just not fair and it’s not… _rational_. Being together a couple times a year would’ve been better than never seeing each other again.”

He nods, staring down at her. Rey nods in return and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. Stupid. ‘All or nothing.’ Just stupid. What a waste of time. She should’ve just flown up here and shrugged off the radio silence. He’s a stubborn ass just like her.

They’re quiet for a few minutes. Rey sniffles and hiccups and eventually Ben reaches out a paw to take both of her hands. She turns her wrists so she can hold his fingers, furry and thick and tipped with claws, and he lets her turn his hand to look at his palm. All the same lines as a human palm. She traces one with her index finger.

“I love you a lot,” she says.

The fur melts away under her fingers. Ben’s hand shrinks in her grasp and she pauses, eyes flickering up to his face as he finishes changing form. Human now, dark eyes and black hair and stubble and all. He’s naked, too, but she’s too busy staring at his eyes to pay much attention to it. 

His tongue rolls in his cheek. “I never stopped loving you. Never hated you.” He inhales, throat bobbing. “I’m sorry, too—for not calling and for giving up. I know I’ve got to strike a balance here and give you space. I know I do.”

“I know it’s hard for you. I can be patient as long as you’re trying.”

Ben nods. His gaze wanders to the window and he exhales, breath shaking, then clears his throat. It’s nice being on the same page for once.

“I should put some clothes on,” he says. “Make dinner for them. Aleu is close to whelping.”

“I can do it.” Rey gets to her feet and grabs one of Aleu’s blankets from the corner pile. “You have that stuff out in the meat freezer, right?”

“Yeah. I can order a pizza for us? Since we don’t have an oven or anything yet.”

“Great. Sounds good.”

She hands Ben the blanket and he wraps it around his waist as he gets up. All three wolves are watching from the kitchen, and not one bothers to lift their heads when Ben walks by to the bedroom. He closes the door and Rey turns in a small circle, sighing.

Aleu is watching her, head resting on her paws. She searches Rey’s face for a minute before closing her eyes again. Well, at least it’s not abject hatred anymore.

—•—

The raw meat is kind of gross but Rey suffers through it. She calls the wolves out to the garage to eat and even Aleu comes lumbering through the door to have her dinner. She really is ready to pop. Going to be any day now she’ll have her puppies.

After dinner Rey lets the wolves out to exercise and go to the bathroom. Muk and Luk race off into the woods but Aleu lingers near the door next to Rey. She leans on her thigh, and Rey hesitantly pets her.

Aleu doesn’t look up. She accepts some petting then quietly follows her brothers into the woods. Rey waits a handful of minutes before she goes back inside.

She doesn’t find Ben in the kitchen and walks down the hall to check the bedroom. He’s there, sitting on the edge of the bed with his hands clasped between his knees, looking kind of pensive. He glances up at her and smiles when she steps into the room. Dressed now, in his usual flannel and jeans.

“Aleu went?” he asks.

“Yeah. Probably keeping an eye on the other two.”

Ben shakes his head, eyes dropping to his lap. He plays with his fingers for a quiet minute.

“I’m going to look for a den for her. For after she whelps.” He shrugs. “She needs her own space to raise the puppies and we need a clean house for the humans. I think she’ll take Muk and Luk, too.”

“…Okay. Okay.” Rey nods, leaning on the doorframe and curling her hair behind her ear. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. She needs her space.”

He says it but his voice wavers like he’s going to cry. Ben clears his throat and Rey chews her lower lip. It’s for the best. They can’t live in the cabin like this—even Aleu is ready to move on and be on her own.

But this is a big step for Ben. It’s hard.

“Want me to tag along?” Rey asks.

“I think it’ll just be me and her, if that’s okay.”

“Sure, of course. I can watch Muk and Luk while you’re gone? They’ll find a way to get into something.”

Ben nods, laughing a little. “Always do.”

Rey watches him for another minute before coming to sit beside him on the bed. She puts an arm around his waist and kisses his cheek, and Ben relaxes into her embrace. He takes another shaky breath.

“I love them… so much.” His voice cracks and he turns his head, nuzzling into her neck. “But wolves aren’t supposed to live like this. I shouldn’t have done this to them.”

“You were just protecting them, Ben. It’s okay.”

“I don’t know what I’ll do if something happens to one of them. But I can’t be a full-time wolf. I can’t lead their pack no matter how much I want to. I have _you _and I miss my fucking job—I missed my house and my human life so fucking badly. I just—I just can’t do it, but I don’t want them to get hurt.”

Ben sinks into her lap. He’s shivering, not quite crying but nearly there, and Rey combs her fingers through his hair. He doesn’t say anything more and his shaking tapers off while she brushes his hair, which is just as soft as she remembers. Poor Ben. Always pulled in two different directions. 

He dozes off. Rey swallows back her own tears as the helplessness really weighs down on her shoulders: Aleu is having puppies soon and needs to move out on her own, but it’s not safe. Poe isn’t going to stop. What if he finds her?

Rey settles Ben on his bed so she can get up to find the flip phone they bought him earlier. Her phone is _still _dead but Ben’s is charged and resting on the kitchen counter. She hopes it has the number she needs because she definitely doesn’t remember it off the top of her head.

It does. Thank god. Rey quick dials it and glances over her shoulder toward the dark bedroom. She needs to let the wolves in soon.

The call goes to voicemail but that’s fine. Rey drums her fingers on the island and clears her throat before the beep.

“Hey—Leia. It’s me. Rey?” Her throat clenches and her voice comes out strangled and quiet in the darkness. “Um… so I’m back in Alaska with Ben. He’s not doing well but he’s better now. I think.

“But, um…” She pauses, crossing her free arm over her chest and scoffing to hide a sob. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. Poe Dameron is hellbent on culling the wolves and Aleu is about to have her puppies—and I thought I could convince Poe to stop but I… I don’t think I can. And I don’t know what to do. Ben is trying so hard but we can’t let them go if they’re going to get hurt. Or worse. But they can’t live here. He needs separation. He can’t be both things at once.

“So…” Rey shrugs and presses her lips together. Tears are running down to her chin now. “I need help. Please. We need help.”

She hangs up. The front screen glows and Rey drops it on the island, covering her face with one hand. What the hell can Leia possibly do? Something, maybe. Hopefully.

She goes to the front door and opens it to call the wolves back. Muk and Luk come after a couple whistles but Aleu is slower, and she looks back at the woods a couple times. But she comes eventually, and she gives Rey a nuzzle on her way past.

Aleu goes to her bed and Muk and Luk lie down nearby. Rey stops to give each one a kiss before she starts down the hall to the bedroom.

Then she feels a pull.

She pauses. It’s dark and quiet and she can see Ben fast asleep on the bed, curled on his side. Her eyes roam the darkness and she peers over her shoulder. There’s another sharp tug in her ribs.

Rey takes a step towards it—then she’s walking that way, straight to the door. She opens it and gazes out into the night, cool breeze brushing her hair from her face. Her heart pounds.

Two golden eyes watch her from the fringe of the forest. He’s back. He’s calling her again.

She walks down the steps, mesmerized by Balto’s glowing eyes. He emerges from the trees and proceeds quietly towards her, pausing a couple feet away and sitting when Rey reaches the last stair. Moonlight makes his fur glow like he’s some otherworldly thing here to bring her to his realm.

They stand and stare at each other for a couple silent minutes. Crickets chirp and the breeze rustles the trees.

Rey swallows. She grasps the railing to steady herself and Balto doesn’t blink.

“I can’t come with you,” she whispers. “I’m sorry.”

He tilts his head. He doesn’t dip it; doesn’t beg. His ears stay upright and he just stares, like he’s asking her why; like he knows what she needs. Maybe he does. Maybe he doesn’t.

Rey looks back at the door, still slightly ajar. She rubs her thumb on the rough railing.

“…They need me,” she says. Her gaze lingers before going back to Balto. “And I need them, too.”

The pain in her chest slackens. Balto eyes her with his enormous paws politely positioned in front of him, and he doesn’t snarl or growl or show any sign of aggression. His golden eyes flicker as he examines her face—then he gets to his feet. He turns to leave.

Rey grips the railing, leaning on her tiptoes. He’s already fading into the darkness.

“It’s okay to come home sometimes,” she calls.

Balto stops. He looks back at her. Now she can only make out his eyes as the rest of him melts into the darkness. He really is beautiful, and mysterious, and she hopes someday she can know him better.

She smiles, shrugging. “Whenever you’re tired or lonely, or if you just need something to eat—it’s okay to come home. We’ll always be here for you.”

Leaves scratch and whistle as another breeze takes them. Balto cocks his head, then he dips it slightly, closing his eyes for just a couple seconds.

The pulling in Rey’s chest weakens as he carries on into the night. She waits until he vanishes, and her pain vanishes with him—but there’s still something there. Still a little tug to let her know he’s there.

She smiles and goes back inside. Aleu is awake and watching her, and lifts her head for a pet as Rey passes. She nuzzles into her palm and lies down when Rey walks down the hallway.

Ben is still asleep in bed. Rey closes the door behind her and climbs into bed with him, and he blinks blearily when she does. He’s tired. Long day.

“Hey.” He smiles sleepily. “Y’know, I forgot to order that pizza. We can go grab something at the diner if you’re hungry.”

“Um…” Rey puckers her lips as she cuddles up next to him. “That sounds good. Everyone is in for the night so they’ll be safe while we’re gone.”

Ben nods, yawning. He kisses her forehead.

“‘Kay,” he mumbles. His eyes flutter shut. “Five more minutes.”

“Five more minutes.”

He falls asleep again. Rey watches him for a couple minutes, still smiling, then burrows in under his chin. Five more minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @malreverie  
carrd: malevolentreverie.carrd.co


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 👀

Rey is alone in bed the following morning. She wakes when it’s still dark, blue light slatting in through the window across the room. It’s a little cold. She blinks blearily and rubs her eyes and yawns, then goes to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

The wolves are all gone from the cabin. She looks around while she brushes her teeth, frowning but not seriously concerned. Maybe Ben decided to take Muk and Luk along with him and Aleu. Early start makes sense for wolves, she thinks.

Rey uses Ben’s phone to text Rose and ask for her to _please _bring her charger, and also, she’s probably staying for at least a few days. Rose texts back immediately marveling at Ben having a phone again and promises to stop by around lunch time with the girls. They’re already awake. Yikes.

She makes coffee and goes outside to stand on the porch and watch the forest slowly wake. Birds begin chirping, squirrels run through the branches, and a hint of orange peers over the horizon. Rey sips her coffee, clutching her mug with both hands. Thank god they bought a coffee maker.

Howling cuts through the glassy quiet. Rey shuffles forward a couple steps and hears it again, echoing through the silent trees and stifling the birds.

Ben seems to materialize from the woods a handful of minutes later. He’s carrying a couple rabbits in his jaws, and his eyes settle on Rey and stay locked there as he approaches. She follows him with her a slight turn of her head until he comes to the bottom of the steps and sets down the rabbits at her feet.

He tilts his head when she doesn’t speak. There are three of them, all bloody and torn. Not _super _appetizing, but…

“Thank you,” Rey says, smiling and raising her eyebrows. She holds up her coffee. “I am… all set right now, though. You did promise me a date at the diner, too.”

Ben flicks his ears. He nudges the rabbits with his nose, like she doesn’t see them. She sees them. She definitely sees them.

Rey sets her mug on the railing and walks down to the last step, gingerly picking the rabbits up. Ben is a werewolf so she knows she should expect dead animals as gifts, but that doesn’t mean she’s going to eat them.

“I’ll… put these away,” she says. “Freezer?”

Wolf Ben can’t reply. He just kind of stares at her, so she nods and grimaces when her back is turned to him. Ugh.

Once the rabbits are stored in the meat freezer, Rey gives her hands a really good scrub in the kitchen sink. She’s still washing when the front door opens behind her. Ben must be human again.

“Where the other three?” she calls. She scrubs between her fingers. “Did you end up bringing all of them?”

The door shuts. Ben doesn’t reply but Rey hears his steps slowly approach. She turns her wrist to check her nails for dirt and rinses off the soap. Well, it’s good that they’re all out. Maybe Ben already found a den for Aleu. 

She turns off the water. “So it went well? Are you feeling o… kay…”

Warm hands slide over her hips and Rey’s sentence trails off. Ben kisses her neck, curling his fingers over her hips to guide her back into his groin—she blushes when his cock presses against her. Jesus.

She clings to the sink, shivering at the way his teeth scrape her neck. Her thoughts travel back to their first time; how weird it is that her first and only time having sex was with a werewolf. It felt good, though. Really good. She still thinks about it a couple times a week when she’s alone in bed trying to stay quiet while she masturbates.

Ben isn’t the least bit shy. He slides a hand down the front of Rey’s leggings, pushing gently to keep her ass firmly settled in his groin. His touch isn’t hurried and he exhales a shaky breath as he traces his fingertip along her slit, slipping two fingers deeper before easing them out again. His fingers are rough but Rey _really _doesn’t mind.

She swallows, knuckles white on the edge of the sink. “Um—I, uh—I have a arm… implant.”

“Yeah, I know. Changes your scent.” He teases her clit lightly with the pad of his middle finger, lips moving on her neck while he mumbles to her. His voice is low and ragged. “I’ll just pretend I’m knocking you up.”

Rey’s blush somehow gets hotter. She tilts her jaw to let Ben kiss and nibble at her neck, rolling her skin through his teeth hard enough to make her whimper, and he soon eases a thick finger inside her. Maybe they should do this on a bed—maybe it should be more intimate and emotional—but being bent over the kitchen sink while Ben is fantasizing about impregnating her is doing a lot more for her than it should.

He impatiently yanks down her leggings to her knees. He’s wearing clothes and she hears them rustle and behind her as he impatiently gets them out of his way, too. Rey arches her lower back a little and Ben slaps her ass, nuzzling her hair and inhaling deep. A warm shiver runs down her spine.

He doesn’t say anything, though—and he’s inside her a handful of moments later, buried up to the hilt in two rough thrusts. Rey bites her lower lip but gasps at the second thrust, and Ben burrows into her neck, teeth and tongue and low, breathless groan. The floor creaks as he starts fucking her in earnest and she bounces back into his groin each time.

One big hand settles on hers on the edge of the sink, squeezing, and the other winds between her legs. Rey comes more easily than she usually does, stretching on her tiptoes and letting her head drop as it comes over her. Her heart is still racing when she feels Ben kissing his nape, teeth brushing her skin. He cups his hand on her lower belly.

“You’re getting that fucking thing out.”

His kisses loop around to her throat and Rey doesn’t resist the light biting. She swallows, nodding when he pauses like he’s waiting for an answer. Her brain, for whatever reason, thinks it’s hot that he’s demanding.

“O-Okay—”

“You’re gonna give me pups—give me a litter.” Ben’s voice is deeper than usual, gruff and demanding, and it makes Rey’s insides tighten. “And next time I bring you a gift—you’re gonna get on your hands and knees and thank me for it.”

“Yes,” Rey pants, nodding, “yes.”

Ben grunts. He keeps her hand pinned and holds her hip with his other, pounding into her so she whimpers and bounces against him. He groans on her shoulder when he climaxes—there’s no knot this time, but she still feels him pulsing and the warm rush as he empties inside her. He thrusts jerkily, panting, and then he stops with his cock buried up to the base.

He exhales. His forehead brushes Rey’s shoulder before he pulls out, and she starts getting up.

“Don’t move,” he snaps.

She blinks, stopping dead. Uh…

“…Sorry. Sorry.” He takes a wavering breath. His fingers touch her upper arm. “Here. I’m sorry.”

Ben helps her straighten up. He doesn’t let her go immediately to the bathroom, though: he _sort of _blocks her path, fussing over her hair for some reason, and his dark eyes are glassy and distant. He smiles faintly and Rey smiles faintly back. She really needs to use the bathroom. There’s cum on her thighs. Uncomfy.

“Can we do this in a minute?” Rey asks, voice pitching nervously. “I’ll literally be right back.”

“I wasn’t serious about the birth control. Or anything else.” He keeps brushing her hair back. “Just saying stuff.”

“I know. I didn’t hate it or anything, but I really need to—”

She tries walking by and Ben seizes her by the upper arm—_hard_. His jaw is set and his eyes almost look black, and he just stares down at her, emotionless, then breaking into a trembling smile.

Rey raises her eyebrows. “Ben.”

“I’m sorry.” His Adam’s apple bobs, then his lower lip quivers. He keeps smiling. “But I really want to rip that thing out of your arm.”

His thumb is pushing on it. He could, because he’s a werewolf and half animal and driven by impulses Rey knows she can’t begin to understand. She stares back at him and waits, trying to be patient like she promised. He’s going to have his moments. It’s okay, as long as he can control himself.

Ben lets go. He runs his hand through his hair and steps aside to let her by.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats. He pinches the bridge of his nose, lips pressed into a tight line. “Wolf brain. Think I wound myself up too much.”

“It’s okay—really. I know you’re a werewolf, Ben.”

He nods. Rey hesitates then goes off to the bathroom, nervous, but not in the way she should be. It’s all kind of hot, she thinks, closing the door and shivering. Maybe it shouldn’t be.

—•—

Rose drops off Rey’s things that afternoon, and the wolves are gone for the entire day. The kids are disappointed but elated when Ben transforms his forearm, and they sit and examine his claws.

Aleu comes home with Muk and Luk that night. She’s quiet, but gives both Rey and Ben greeting licks, and stays outside instead of coming in to sleep on her bed. Muk and Luk do the same, and Ben spends most of the night watching them through the window, hands in his pockets.

But by the time the appliances and furniture are delivered two days later, he’s down to just saying goodnight and only checking on them once.

Ben is pensive, Rey notices. They sleep in the same bed but he doesn’t try having sex with her again, and he’s muted when she sees him throughout the day. She figures he’s unsettled by their encounter in the kitchen and decides to give him space.

They’re grocery shopping a week later when he brings it up.

“Did I scare you, Rey?”

She looks up from the loaf of bread she’s squeezing. Ben is leaning on the cart, staring at the things they’ve already picked up. He doesn’t look at her.

She drops the bread in the cart. “No.”

“Are you sure? I know I get really intense.”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“You’re sure?”

Rey rolls her eyes up to the ceiling before letting her head drop to the side so she can give Ben a Look. Now he’s looking at her and he seems unsure and maybe sad, and she realizes she should’ve been reassuring him the entire week. He’s not a bad guy. He really doesn’t want to hurt her.

She ambles up to him, arms outstretched, and wraps them around his waist. Ben returns the embrace, burying his face in her hair.

“I’m not scared of you,” Rey murmurs. She nuzzles into his warm chest. “I think it’s hot, and I know you won’t hurt me.”

He squeezes. “You do?”

“Well you love me so I know you’re not going to actually rip something out of my arm.”

“No, no—you think it’s hot?”

“Definitely.”

Ben is quiet for a minute. His hands rubs absentmindedly up and down her back.

“Are you sure?”

Rey groans and tries squirming free of his embrace. Ben laughs and just squeezes tighter, then he growls, kissing her neck with loud smacks while she squeals.

—•—

“Ben—_Ben_!”

The phone is ringing. Rey is lying beside Ben in bed, smothered under his gigantic werewolf body and tethered to him by the knot. He’s pretending to be asleep but grunts with a couple more light slaps to the ribs. _So _lazy.

But he transforms after another ring or two and the knot disappears. Ben paws at her but Rey gets out of bed, shooting him a dirty look over her shoulder as she grabs her phone off the nightstand.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Rey. It’s Finn.”

She smiles, turning to face the door. “Hey, Finn. What’s up?”

“I just wanted to call and let you know—I’ve been transferred. To Oregon.”

The shock must show on Rey’s face because Ben sits up, scowling. She waves him off and nods, trying to process the news. Transferred, huh? From the DEC. Does the DEC transfer people?

“Oh,” she says.

“Yeah.” Finn laughs. “It’s a surprise but I’m pretty excited to live out there. Poe is, too. Lots to do.”

“Oh—right. Poe.”

Ben gets out of bed. He pulls on his sweatpants but not a shirt and comes up right next to Rey with his hands on his hips. She swats at him when he reaches for the phone. Jesus, wasn’t he just so tired he couldn’t move?

“So when are you moving?” she asks.

Finn sighs. “Couple days. Poe is resigning his position tomorrow, so… I thought you and Ben should know first.”

“Oh. Well, thank you, Finn. I appreciate it.”

“Sure thing. It’s the least I can do.”

Rey smiles a bit when she hangs up. She looks at her phone before glancing up at Ben, who tilts his head.

“Poe?” he asks with an edge in his voice.

“Sort of.” She chews her inner cheek. “Finn is being transferred to Oregon, and Poe is resigning his position tomorrow. So Finn wanted to let us know.”

“Resigning? From the game service?”

“Yep.”

Ben doesn’t respond. He rubs his mouth and nods instead, turning away slowly to look out the window. He can get his job back—if he wants it. That’s a big deal. A really big deal.

But it also means Ben definitely won’t be able to move with her when she goes back to school. Rey crosses her arms over her chest and watches him run his hand over the back of his neck. She’s going to have to figure something else out. Something major. She needs to call her guidance counselor tomorrow.

“What do you think?” she asks softly.

“I mean—it’s a relief. But, uh…” Ben shakes his head. “Can’t take it or anything.”

“Why?”

“I’m going with you when your break is over.”

No he isn’t. Rey smiles and ambles to his side, arms still folded. She rests her temple on his bicep and looks up to see him staring out the window, chewing his lower lip. This didn’t just happen. Leia hasn’t said anything, but it’s obvious she must have intervened.

“We’ll see,” Rey murmurs. He looks down at her and she shrugs. “Sleep on it. Maybe you’ll feel differently in the morning.”

“Yeah. Maybe.”

Rey gives him a kiss and goes to take a shower. She sends Leia a quick thank you text while the water heats up. It can take a while for messages to get out—the service isn’t exactly great.

She scrolls down to her guidance counselor. Rey glances at the door, then opens up a text.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Don't Be Afraid of Your Neighbor](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22762504) by [Spencebox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spencebox/pseuds/Spencebox)
  * [Howl With The Pack](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25483606) by [Lula_Landry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lula_Landry/pseuds/Lula_Landry)


End file.
